What have I learned?

A very typical day, Ely blog hops and gets different insights of others on their side of the world.

I see a blogger ‘s recipe on Cekodok Pisang, then I see one who has a very intriguing entry today ( I didn’t know how to comment on that! Hehehe) and there then theres one who still has her old entry up since time began (dia sibuk kot!). Ada juga yang tengah merindu, ada yang tengah dilemma dan ada yang saja jer blog for the sake of it, nothing to say (nothing wrong with that, that’s very natural!).

So duk sini fikir, nak cakap pasal apa hari nih eh? How about talking about myself? Again….? How about what I discovered on life lately?

I felt myself changing lately, since the year 2005 began. I went through so much changes in my career and apparently, it changes my perspective in life too…as in, how I handle crisis and how to stay calm should a crisis arise.

What kind of crisis are we talking about? Anything, from tackling a super duper complicated problem to a mere, ‘what to wear’ problem. Just 7 months into the year and I have jumped over so many hurdles. From work to the kids (that one is the emotional part lah). And how had it benefit me? A whole lot…not even money can buy.

Working with the management team had taught me one thing, to be strong, be firm and that everyone makes mistakes. In what way did that affect me? Confidence…I gained tremendous confidence from it. If there is a problem and it needs to be addressed, I also learned to sit down and ask myself why would I need to address it? What will I gain from it? Do I just want to whine or make a change? The answers are all up to me. So far, none of my suggestions to them had been thrown out the window….phew!

I also learned some social behavior at work too. Do not let anyone hook you emotionally. If they have something nasty to tell me, I always give it a pass and tell them, ‘it is what it is’. I also learned not to analyze emotions too much. Life goes on, we all need to get along in order to work for what we’re trying to achieve kan?

Home…my kids are going through so much in their life right now…or so they said! Growing up, is a true pain in the a*s for the husband and I. From truancy in school to skipping homework to lies to scandals (remember the love note?). Any problems that have to do with them can be very emotional. The ibu will cry cos she’s hurt, the kids will cry cos they get spanked and the paps face turns red when he gets mad and gives a day long lectures.

What did I learn from there? I learned my kids’ feelings better. That they’re growing up and that they want to treated as a tiny adult and not as tiny kids. That they have their side of complicated and emotional growing up problems as well. We also learned to be extra firm with them. To control situations when they’re tiny buds rather than wait till it gets bigger. No such thing as ‘kids will be kids’.

And then Ely started blogging in the month of May (cayang Kak Teh). MasyaAllah, I made super duper friends. I still love them ALL. We tend to talk about anything under the sun, from books to FOOD, to just about anything. I learned that I can be addictive and that some just simply can’t stay away from me! And I discovered that I have a twin, separated at birth. We have the same ideas, same thoughts, same appetite and our husbands seem to behave in the same manner! Who knows among the happy times, some issues turned to negativity circumstances, which is inevitable. It is so hard to express ourselves through blogs and not offend anyone kan? Cos we don’t see their facial expressions and tone of voice when they address issues.

And I learned something important out of that. That blogging is intangible but can give you a heart attack like a sword through your heart. Some postings can be piercing and hurtful to others, even without mentioning names. And what do we do with this? How do we stop this? Truthfully, we all know that we can’t. But we could choose to give it a pass and not take it to heart and analyze it too much. Everyone has the right to express, but its up to you to give them the right to hurt you kan?

So this is Ely today. She is the stronger lady. She is not often bothered by negative attitudes around her. She also learned that things happen for their reasons. She is also more confident with herself, that her thoughts are worth sharing and that no small thoughts are useless. She also learns that a good friendship is hard to come by so treasures them in her hearts. Her kids are more precious than her own life. That her husband is the most wonderful that had ever happened to her.

Seems like 50% of my New Year’s resolution has been fulfilled.