How we celebrated Mat's birthday...

Saturday was the day we celebrated Mat’s advanced birthday. His actual birthday will be on November 7th. Since the husband is going through a shoulder surgery this Friday, we have decided to celebrate a week in advance.

We went to Dave & Busters, in Milpitas, 60 miles from Daly City.

Ibu gets a quick-fix to fight sleepiness while the kids were having a good time.

Thank you my family...

When the husband called me at work and told me that the package from Singapore has arrived, I was ecstatic! Happy that at least I get some home made kueh from home.

Little did I expect that when I came home and looked at the package one by one, I imagined mak, kakak and my nieces painstakingly making them tarts, cookies and the serunding and then rushing them to us. I could not hold back my tears as I was touched by their thoughtfulness and love that they have extended, 8,000 miles away.

Like I told the husband, 'I can pay each cent that kakak had paid for postage, but their cookies....priceless'. Mind you, I bawled for 30 mins, could not contain the sadness of not being able to be there with my beloved family.

How I miss my family, especially during Raya. Last year was the best raya we all had...all under one roof, chance of a lifetime gathering. Though I know that we would see each other again in the summer, but the spirit of Lebaran is so dampened by distance.

Then there was a birthday gift for me. Especially for me.

Thank you my dearest family...for the love. We all love you so very much!

*Ely's bawling again...*

Ely the Show Off

OK people, as promised, here are the pictures that I took over the past few days. Ely's not done with her camera yet!

Bella

Pinky

San Francisco City Hall

The watch that Nazrah gave me :)

The posting with no Title...

Yes, Ely has been quiet since she got her camera. Has she been swallowed up by the camera? Or still hiding in the flower bushes trying to take them pics? I have been busy taking pictures yes…but I haven't had the time to download the pictures yet.

I received an email from my sister saying that my cousin will be here on business trip. He will be landing in 12 hours! GREAT I thought….last minute. Tak sempat nak ambik cuti ker, nak masak2 ker, nak beli red carpet ker hehehe. But thanks to perfect communication system, we got in touch with him as soon as he landed. We picked him up after iftar, bawak dia pergi makan at the halal thai restaurant and we ate again hahaha…this time just tomyam soup ok…oooh and some curry puffs, oooh and some ayam goreng…aiyooooooooooh, cannot stop one! Then we gave him the famous SF 1 hour tour. The weather was very very cold, so we skipped looking at the sealions at Pier 39. Down 'crooked street' and up the treacherous hills!

My head touched the pillows at around 11.30pm. God knows how long it took for me to take off to La La Land. The next thing I knew was the alarm waking us up for sahur…with Pinky my kitten sitting on my belly.

I have not lost a pound since my birthday. How to lose even an ounce when I had a early birthday bash since Friday night? Friday night was a binge at Chutney (authentic Pakistani food), Saturday night, at Ayu's place (the husband bought some yummy pastries from the italian bakery! How to say no?), trip to Fresh Choice, the salad bar on Monday night (the clam chowder and sourdough bread…how to say no again!), last night at the halal thai restaurant (thanks to the cousin) and tonight…errrr, *Ely with guilty look* to Chutney again for another indian food binge before sending the cousin off to the airport with a huge bag of See's candies.

I shall try to post my digipics tomorrow. I learned some new cool tricks and I love my camera!!!!!!!!

Digital Newbie

Hah...so now that I have my own digital camera, I don't know what to do with it! This is our 3rd digital camera in the house. Before I had my own, I used to beg the husband if he could let me borrow his camera for the Asian Pacific Islander Club General Meeting or any Asian events. Sometimes I had to promise him that I would not leave his camera unattended and making sure that the camera's in its case when not in use.

I've had it for only 2 days and have been playing with it. The cats are my victims! I had to learn how to ensure that the flash does not give too much light especially towards my white cat...or it would be like a UFO which landed on my bed...all white! All I can say is that, it is not like the old traditional camera!

Tomorrow, so I am going to take the camera to work and go to SF City Hall and take pictures of the city. Maybe take pictures of the homeless people hehehe.

In the meantime, let me continue reading the camera manual...

Bella & me

Its ME Birthday!

Yup, I will be officially 33 years old tomorrow, Monday, 10/24/05. If you’re reading this in Asia and maybe Europe (depending on the time), it is already my birthday NOW.

Dah tua rasanya, 33 years old…I used to stop counting when I reached the age of 27! I tend to get less excited everytime it comes now. ‘Alah…dah tua lah’, that’s what I tell my kids each time my birthday comes. Though I am one of the youngest mom in their school (I started early mah!), still…my body sure tells me that I am not young anymore.

The grey hair starts to multiply in an astonishing rate. The frequency of highlighting my hair to cover the grey hair is getting higher. Dulu once every 2 months, now, once a month!

The knee, when I hit 30, all of a sudden, I felt that my knew had lost its lubrication. When its winter, my knees start to nag...mild nagging, an early sign of rheumatism.

A minor fall is no more ‘minor’ to me. If I stepped on ice on the stairs, I would fall 4 stairs down, on my butt and God help me! I could still go to work with a back and blue, a size of a S$1 coin, but when I wake up the next morning, my body would oh so hurt.

Signs of dementia…yeah I know its too early but I have almost zero memory capacity. I forget most of the time, if I have things to do at work, I HAVE to write them down or I wouldn’t even remember why I am at work to begin with!

Sigh….but, at the age of 33, I think I have experienced a lot. More than most people who are my age. I’ve been through school, a bad divorce, 2 child births, another marriage and a major move with the kids and a cat. Thank goodness I had the strength to do all that.

OK, enough of the self reflection…back to my BIRTHDAY…

I received my birthday presents early…48 hours early hehehe. A Canon Powershot A520 from my beloved husband, a pair of Converse ‘chucks’ (I always wanted them) from the kids, a cat frame and aromatherapy essential oils from my co workers and 3 bottles of Victoria’s Secret Luxurious Shower Gel from Lilac and company (got them 2 months earlier and still have not used them, must wait till birthday mah!).

We went to Ayu’s place last night (Saturday night here) for iftar. I was in the kitchen all all day…buat roti jala and kari daging! It was a fun gathering with Mardiana and our new friend Paul, and not forgetting Gerald :)

They surprised me with a beautiful cake. The cake was too pretty that I didn’t have the heart to cut it!

Thank you all for the lovely 33rd birthday memory :)

Its Sunday today, 10:23am…baru bangun and I am still sleepy. So I might catch a nap, hey I deserve it! Since my diet had been sabotaged so badly at Ayu’s place, my dinner tonight will be baked chicken with chicken soup. The blander the better!

I will be off on my birthday. I never work on my birthday. #1, I don’t want anyone at work to make a fuss over my birthday, #2, its Ramadan, I know they would drag me to the Bar for drinks (I don’t drink but they will find excuse to drink anyway) and #3, I don’t like being in the limelight, knowing my co workers who are so capable of doing silly things!

No plans for tomorrow, kids will be at school, husband will be working at home and me, maybe in bed all day with the tv turned on?

Well…Happy Birthday to me *hugging myself*. Thank you to those who have contributed to this sweet memory of my birthday, your time, the cake and the lovely gifts!

Camera from the husband

Always wanted these...Converse 'Chucks' from the lovely kids! Now they say that I'm cool!

Victoria's Secret Showel Gel from Lilac and Family...yes i am a shower gel person!

The beautiful cake

Masturah, Ayu, Me & Mardiana

The 'Party'

Think HAPPY!

OK I don’t want to think of home, raya or anything sedih medih today (although right now, I have the malaysian radio playing on the computer…waaaah!). I wanna talk about something happy…like the icky weather today hahaha.

It rained this morning. All the cats were indoors as they don’t want to get wet. They were either sleeping on the sofa, the bed or on the warm carpet. Good life they have eh? If they live with Ely's family, even the raccoons have good lives…cukup makan!

The husband drove me to work. He needed to send the 4-runner to the shop before buyers check the beast up for test drive (we don’t own this SUV, he is selling it for a customer on ebay). Traffic was bad. I don’t know whats up with SF people….they can't drive when :

1) it rains…even a drop of rain will cause a 2 hour back up on the freeway and 45 minutes back up on city streets

2) its daylight savings time. The sun goes down at approximately 5pm, people don’t know how to drive in the dark even with their headlights turned on hence, they use their high beam lights on.

3) there is a small accident on the OTHER SIDE of the road/freeway…RUBBERNECKING (my husband loves doing that by the way).

Stepped into the office, thinking that I could get warm…duh! Its very very cold here right now. Everyone was yelling at me asking me to call the Engineers for them to start the heater. Of course I don’t own them Engineers! I called them at 9:30am, its almost 1pm and not one of them came by to see me yet. But instead, the security document guy came to take our locked bins for destruction! *Shhh, don't tell my boss that I blog from work. Can't stop ilham when it comes mah!*

Should I talk about my diet? Hehehe…my twin, jangan jealous OK! You know I sayang you much much!

I have lost about 18 lbs since I last weighed myself last Sunday. Kinda slow past weeks due to water retention, thanks to my 'monthly best friend'. When the 'best friend' left, the scale just went down. I had to re weigh myself 3-4 times…sanity check.

How do I feel? Happy of course, hard work! BUT BUT BUT…my clothes don’t fit me as they use to. The co workers told me to dump them clothes and start over. Aiyoh, I no print money ok! Remember I told you that I had to stitch up the right side of my jeans? I just stitched the left side now. So when I tuck in my blouse, you can see the 'gathers' and frills around the waistline. Getting dressed to work is a chore now. I have to change my top at least 3x before I am satisfied. Why? Cos my button down tops look like they were borrowed. They don’t sit on my shoulders and body well. Serembah serembih kata orang tuh? Knitted tops are the best, they 'grow' and 'shrink' with you and are more versatile. Just don’t put them in the dryer or Barbie will get new clothes!

Now I am very determined to reach that ideal weight…of my choice (as in, don’t even expect me to be 110lbs!). Maybe this great month of Ramadan will help me achieve very close to my weight goal.

The husband 'kecundang' on his diet when ramadan started. He lost 12 lbs but as his surgery date is getting closer, this losing weight thingy is serious business! So he lost another 3 lbs. Yeah…men tend to lose weight faster then women eh? Benci betul!

Bapak told me that mak is getting ready to make us pineapple tarts. And of course my 'wish list' grew each second as I talked to him. Nak serunding, paru goreng (kering pun ok), M&M cookies that my sister bakes, etc etc etc.

So I am hopeful…that I will get them tarts by the week of raya (read me sister? WEEK OF RAYA OK…so must hustle!).

Happy Fasting everyone…2 more weeks before the big day!

Raya oh raya...

Dah dekat 2 minggu kita berpuasa kan? Menahan lapar dan dahaga. Dapat email dari kakak, dia mengatakan lagu Raya dah diudarakan. Aiyoh, I so cannot listen to Raya songs. Nanti siaplah perasaan sedih, rindu dan mengidam pun ada.

Sedih kerana tahun nih tak dpt balik, rindu kan mak bapak kakak dan anak saudara dan sepupu ku yang beratus tuh dan mengidam kan kueh mueh yang tak reti aku nak buat! Pasal bab masakan raya tuh no problem sebab memang dari anak dara dah kena train masak yang handal2…kalau bab bikin kueh tat nih, sepit tau lah, buat inti tau tapi the tepung, rangup dan berkrim tuh…mak punya department lah.

Jadi semalam aku email lah kat kakak. Email ku berbunyi begini…

Hey sister,

Could you please please please send me serunding and kueh tat? Mat teringin nak makan serunding and I want kueh tat. No instant kueh please, I want the ones that mak or you are baking!

Thanks!

Kakak mana yang sampai hati nak kasi adik dia kempunan kueh tat kan? My email sounded so urgent…memang urgent! You know, kalau dah masuk 2 minggu berpuasa nih, aku selalu berperasaan begini. Panic, panic dan panic. Mungkin ia untuk melindungi diriku dari berperasaan sedih. Entah lah….

Raya tahun ini biasa saja. Aku akan bercuti selama sehari, budak2 akan ke sekolah. Jadi aku akan masak lauk pauk raya untuk mereka. Walaupun kita tidak akan beraya seperti di Singapura, namun semangat Aidilfitri akan tetap bersemarak di rumah ku ini.

Ok dah…penat jugak menaip bab jejiwa nih.

Tagged again!

This time from nazrah

7 things to do before I die:
- Buy a house here
- Have more kids
- Be independently wealthy (mungkin kalau tergali lombong minyak kat back yard? Or when the husband's millionaire granny passes on and she happened to put his name on the will.)
- Settle all debts (car loans, credit cards)
- See my husband next to me even when I am 80 years old!
- Have stronger faith
- go to Hajj

7 things I cannot do:
- Forgive and FORGET at the same time. I can forgive but not forget
- Shut up and listen when I am arguing
- Watch horror movies esp. during Halloween month like NOW
- I so cannot lie if so, a bad one
- Cannot and never break trust being a friend
- Not say 'I love you' to my kids and husband everyday, each time we part on the phone or in the morning
- Cannot stand men gawking at women

7 things that attract me to the husband who happens to be the opposite sex relative to my current state of being:
- Jewish smart mentality
- His smile
- Eyes
- Skills in business
- Pro-activeness
- Very cooperative
- Unselfishness

7 things I say most often:
- Yeah right!
- Whatever!
- Geez!
- That’s neat
- Ya Allah (start of the ibu naik loktang)
- Sheesh…
- Shoot!

7 celebrity crushes:
I don’t have crushes on Celebs but I only have one…
- Acis from Gersang :)

7 people I want to do this:
Alah sesapa yang belum buat lah...

Been Tagged

By Nour...

Whoever wants to do this...I tag you lah!

ABOUT
Name:	Ely
Birthday:	October 24th
Birthplace:	Singapore
Current Location:	San Francisco, California, USA
Eye Color:	Dark Brown
Hair Color:	right now? hahahaha...brown
Height:	5'1 and 3/4
Right Handed or Left Handed:	Left handed
Your Heritage:	1/3 Penang, 2/3 javanese
The Shoes You Wore Today:	Dress down Monday, so my Nikes
Your Weakness:	Anything with chocolates
Your Fears:	Horror movies
Your Perfect Pizza:	Indian pizza! Same crust, but with curry toping+lamb+shrimp+potatoes
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	To get THAT promotion!
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	'Hmm...gurl'
Thoughts First Waking Up:	Where's my husband?
Your Best Physical Feature:	My eyes, my smile
Your Bedtime:	9:30 pm
Your Most Missed Memory:	Being with my sister
Pepsi or Coke:	DIET Pepsi
MacDonalds or Burger King:	Burger King
Single or Group Dates:	Single Dates
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	Don't like Ice Tea
Chocolate or Vanilla:	Chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee:	Cappuccino
Do you Smoke:	Holy smokes, NO
Do you Swear:	No comments..OK OK, sometimes
Do you Sing:	Yup
Do you Shower Daily:	Of course
Have you Been in Love:	Yup and still am
Do you want to go to College:	Completed
Do you want to get Married:	Already did
Do you belive in yourself:	Of course
Do you get Motion Sickness:	Nope
Do you think you are Attractive:	Yes
Are you a Health Freak:	60% yes
Do you get along with your Parents:	Very well
Do you like Thunderstorms:	Yes
Do you play an Instrument:	No
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	No
In the past month have you Smoked:	No
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	Besides the birth control pills, nope
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	Yes, with the husband
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	Geez of course!
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	Heck no!
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	No either...sigh
In the past month have you been on Stage:	No
In the past month have you been Dumped:	I had taken a Dump hhahahah (bathroom)
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	Only at home?
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	Yeah, my husband's heart?
Ever been Drunk:	No
Ever been called a Tease:	Yeah
Ever been Beaten up:	No
Ever Shoplifted:	No
How do you want to Die:	With iman and family around me
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	You mean when I grow old? Be a housewife...ok tak?
What country would you most like to Visit:	United Kingdom
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:	Brown
Favourite Hair Color:	Dark
Short or Long Hair:	Short
Height:	i like my man's height
Weight:	not too fat lah
Best Clothing Style:	Smart
Number of Drugs I have taken:	????
Number of CDs I own:	only 15
Number of Piercings:	4
Number of Tattoos:	one...eh eh no...
Number of things in my Past I Regret:	Marrying at young age...gullible
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

I love you, I don't...

Note : This is a spouse bashing posting, the author shall not be responsible for any anger or arguments between spouses after reading this post! To the spouse of the author, if you have something to express, again, please submit that in writing.

*****************************************************

Have you ever felt that your spouse can be your worst enemy at certain times? For 4 years that we have been married, I still have not gotten use to the idea that the husband is a back seat driver. *Am I hearing 'ooohs' and 'ahhhs' here?*

I always feel that our marriage would go much smoother if I let the husband drive…just because, theory advised for the wives to let the husbands drive (let them feel the 'power'). I obtained my driver's license close to 3 years ago. Of course, compared to a person who has driven for more than 20 years, 3 years is like a piece of chewing gum stuck to the ground (means nothing lah). But I have gone through 3 years with no accidents (a mere one) and no speeding points.

But mind you, I PAID someone else to teach me how to drive as I gave up on taking driving lessons from the husband. After much barking at each other…one day, I was sooooooo tired of him giving me orders that I stopped the car, put it in 'park' and told him 'You drive then! I give up!'. Does this sound familiar to anyone here?

Here's how a 5 minutes….listen…5 minutes of me driving with the husband sitting next to me sounds like:

A car created a lane and swerved in front of me…I could care less…I don’t believe in tailgating so I don’t wanna stress over whoever cuts me off.

Husband : 'What the heck is he doing?'

Me : 'Let him be, I am not in a hurry.'

When changing lanes.

Husband : 'Well, what are you waiting for? Just GO!!!!!!!'

Ely stuttering, thinking 'eh…how all of a sudden I can't drive'…dalam hati nak jugak keluar kan buku lima kat suami tuh.

Me : 'Well you're making me nervous. Would you please be quiet so that I could drive PROPERLY?'

The conversation did not end there. I went to work fuming with anger and the husband thinking that he was just 'helping'.

I do not understand why some spouses just could not get use to the idea that we are humans too. That we are not 18 year old teenagers who are just learning to drive. According to the insurance theory, new women drivers aged 30 and above are not rated as high as new men drivers of the same age. This is due to lesser loss rates. In a nutshell, women in their 30's ARE NOT high risk drivers!

The husband still thinks that he was 'helping' me. To me, that was the most obnoxious behaviour!

I know, I know, the husband will come back starting the comment with 'you are just reading one side of the story'.

Readers, please don’t get me wrong. I still love my husband with a passion, but sometimes….I just feel that I had a remote control to 'mute' him while I am driving!

So really…am I the only one experiencing this? Don’t you also have a spouse who would pick on just a certain nitty gritty stuff to so call prove a point?

*Imagine Ely bedekak2 cakap dengan matanya yang terbeliak*

Got Blog?

Sesungguhnya memang alam blog nih sungguh menagihkan. Since Sentraal Station was born and expanded day by day, I spend the first hour in my office just going through my favorite links in my blog and then jump to Sentraal Station for more 'kick'. So addicting that I go to Sentraal Station almost every hour (if I am not busy at work lah) to read more and more! Sungguh….sungguh menjadi satu problema untuk diriku! But I am not complaining!

Talk about blog world, I also notice phases of trends in the blog world. First came the Banner phase, our taukey banner and tukang pasang sungguh giat dengan business membuat dan memasang banner nih. Then came the song players phase (sorry my twin for making you get kicked out of tripod!). Everyone is scrambling to have their favorite songs on their blogs. Some would start when their blogs are uploaded, and the ones in the office would have to quickly turn off the speakers. Then came the Meme phase, everyone tagging each other like main kejar2. Oh and don’t forget them recipe blogs, growing like mushrooms (my best part, the recipe blogs). The spammers then started to attack the blogspace. So we all were setting up word verification before we could post anything on mose blogs. Errr, 'vgymklf' it can surely be very testing especially when the 'words' are longer and gets more cuvry! I wonder whats the next phase…

For those who have not been blogging, what are you waiting for? And for those who have been blogging, teruskan teruskan teruskan!

Melayu oh melayu...

Terbaca blog Kak Halela…berblog dalam bahasa melayu. Boleh tahan jugak idea tuh. Tapi nih nak kena duk fikir, nak cakap pasal aper eh...

Dah seminggu berpuasa. Disebabkan jangkitan 'angin wanita' hari nih hari kedua lah saya berpuasa (dapat juga hari pertama ramadan). Dah nak kena mula 'momentum' berpuasa lagi. Hai… terasa sejuk sungguh hari nih. Bangun pagi berkabus sungguh di atas bukit nih. Berkabus sehingga ia menjadi embun (betul ker aku ckp nih). Waktu itu juga kalau nak pergi kerja, mesti nak panaskan kereta dan 'defrost' selama 10 minit supaya kereta tuh tidaklah diselubingi wap.

Ramadan tahun ini terasa sunyi sepi. Tak lah macam tahun lepas, balik Singapura waktu Raya. Tahun ini duk lah kat sini, kerana kalau nak balik kampung, budak2 kena ambil cuti sekolah selama 2 minggu atau lebih dan kerja sekolah semua bertimbun sebelum bercuti. Jadi, kami akan balik kampung tahun hadapan pada musim panas saja lah.

Iftar di rumah juga ringkas saja. Memandangkan suami bekerja di rumah (bukan suri rumah tau!), dialah yang tolong memasak, pergi pasar, bangun sahur dan kejut budak2. Rasa bersalah juga kalau suami masak berbuka dan saya duduk depan laptop sibuk menaip (hahaha). Saya pun berkata kepada suami 'Terima kasihlah kerana memasak tiap2 hari, kalau tak kerana abang (abang seh!) memang lah tunggang terbalik saya jadinya'. Dia pun berkata 'Ely, dah lah, abang (abang lagi!) kan suka memasak, jadi tak aperlah. Memanglah saya tak boleh masak sehandal awak. Lauk kari dan beryani tak lah jadi tapi kalau salad, soup dan ayam panggang ok lah. Kita kan sama2'. Hati isteri mana tak sejuk dengar camtuh? Hehehehe

Semalam, Ayu, Mardiana dan kawan2 datang untuk bebuka puasa di rumah kami. Sebenarnya jemputan itu untuk seorang saja, sekali TERjadi 3 lagi orang. Kepada sesiapa yang belum sempat kami jemput tuh, tolong jangan berkecil hati kerana semalam terjadi secara kebetulan. InsyaAllah, kami akan jemput berbuka puasa di rumah kami pada hujung minggu yang akan datang.

Suami juga telah menetapkan tarikh dia akan dioperasi ke atas bahu kiri nya. Ia akan jatuh hari kedua Hari Raya. Jadi jemputan untuk Hari Raya (adalah berangan nak masak lontong dan rendang untuk kekawan di sini dan jemput mereka) terpaksa samada ditunda atau dibatalkan. Hai…nasiblah tinggal di rantauan.

Oklah, rasa penat juga menaip dalam bahasa melayu nih. Bukan ku benci bahasa ibunda ku, tetapi aku memang rasa bersalah kerana 'terlupa' berbahasa melayu. Am I making sense?

To my husband, if you need this blog to be interpreted in english or hebrew, please submit this in writing, but I might make you learn malay from me and then charge you some money!

The Sister...

Tiap tiap kali time ramadan siap lah I get so sentimental, missing my family back home and all. Dah lah gatal cari sendiri, nak tinggal jauh2, sekarang yang merana kita lah kan.

Time nih jugak lah I teringatkan my one and only sister back home…Ms Tety G. So here's something for you to read :

My one and only sister in this world.
The one closest to me since I was born
I remember the time when we used to fight a lot,
Pulling each others hair and kicking each others shins
Threatening to tell on each other when the parents came back

When we were single, we became best friends
And we never stop loving each others company
Life was so much fun
Shopping eating and frolicking together

We went through motherhood together
Supported each other fro strength and support
Your kids are like mine and mine like yours
Until I moved away…

It was so sullen when I moved
We miss each other's company
The good times we had, the bad times we had
The never ending laughter and how much time we had spent together

I have missed you since the day I moved away from home
I have always told everyone that my best friend is my sister…its you
My one and only sister and no other

Sorry that I can't be home for Lebaran this year
But you are always on my mind…never fading
Thank you for being my friend, my best friend
Til we meet again…just a few months more…a few months more

I love you sister and always will

**********************************************

Coming soon : Tomorrow...Ely will blog in Malay...watch out for it!

AuntyN's blog triggered me to blog about this…my perspective of a marriage, a failed marriage, a happy marriage. And my perspective of women in a marriage, our rights, our 'wrongs'.

Having survived a nasty divorce some 5 and a half years back, it had taught me a lot in life. It had made me realize that I am not helpless, that the failure was not my fault (which contributed to the divorce, but the fact still stays that I was stupid then!). That my kids come FIRST in any situation.

Marriage is a gamble, as many of us know. I envy those who had been married for many years and still loving each other, like my parents. They love and 'hate' each other at the same time, which is so adorable to my eyes.

I watched Dr Phil last night (here I go again, tak habis2 Dr Phil!). It was entitled 'WifeStyle'…a husband who wants his wife to dress this way, cook this way and talk this way, while staying at home and caring for their 3 tiny kids. Dr Phil says,'Now, you said that you wanted your wife to wear thigh high boots when you're around, cook 'A' grade food and that she is only 75% of your standard? Tell me, who are you to judge her like that? How many % have you contributed to the marriage to help her cook, clean and care for the kids?'. I guess I do not have to elaborate more on this, as we all should know what the answer would be…helping each other. A marriage is not run by just a husband or just a wife kan?

Last week on Dr Phil, was also another topic on wives being abused and controlled by their husbands. My question is, how could that happen? The answers are always in the wives, for enduring such suffering and pain and hurt which they do not deserve at all. Some wives have been married for so long and they do not walk away because of their kids and I truly respect women who are like that, for the sake of their kids and again I pray that they will literally survive the abuse.

I am not pro divorce but I am pro active. I don’t like to play victim in a situation that takes two to play. Maybe I am strong, maybe I know what I am doing but most women don’t and are not as strong as I am…and I don’t blame them at all.

I have helped a best friend go through a divorce. Took her 6 months to decide (I did not suggest her of any decision). I was there to be her backbone, to coax her, care for her son, give her my shoulder for her to cry on and try to heal her hurt. That’s as much as I can do as a friend. Her decision to be divorced or her monetary tussle with the ex husband was not for me to decide for her, but she could always count on me for support and love.

My point in this is, we are human beings with equal ability. As long as we know our rights as a muslim wife (please do not forget that), do not be afraid to stand up for your rights and do not be afraid to save yourself from any situation. Hak kita sebagai seorang isteri.

To AuntyN's sister, my doa's and my heart to you. At least if you decided to 'walk away', you knew that you did it for yourself, knowing still that your son comes first. Stay strong and positive, as the road could be longer that you might think. Only Allah will show you the path and give you the ultimate strength that you will need in times of need.

Each time when I hear the word 'divorce', it still shudders me. I surely do not want my friends to experience what I went through but if it ever happens to a friend, I will always be here to support. Lots of support!

Please share with me your thoughts in this...your thoughts about marriage, about being the wife or simply about being a woman.

PS. My kids still feel the remnants of the divorce. Now that they're bigger, they sometimes say that they have the right to know what went wrong. My explanation? I say that I was too young and silly then…and that noone should ever control your life.

Fleet Week 2005

It was a reunion for the girlfriends…and the husbands! After so long (well, about a year) of not meeting, we made a last minute arrangement to meet my girlfriends, Alexsandra (first friend I ever made when I moved to San Francisco) and Jennefer (my asian ‘twin’ in San Francisco. We have the same common interest and we have the same shaped toesies!). Actually, the girlfriends are the husband’s former co workers, including, Jarrod, Jennefer’s husband. But now, the girlfriends, Jarrod and I work for the same company...the 3 of them work in the same office in Elk Grove (by Sacramento) and me in the city.

The last time we met was in Stockton (2.5hr drive from our place), at Alex’s house, in the middle of summer. We had Mexican food at her backyard, under a big tree, having too much fun.

Since the family was going to the Fleet Week 2005, we have decided to invite them to come to the city (sometimes you have to coax the people who live in the East bay to come to the city you know!).

Verdict of the Airshow : SPECTACULAR, PHENOMENAL!!!

After the Airshow, we hiked to Chutney for buka puasa and met up with Ayu. She was running late, so by the time she reached the restaurant, all she needed to do was sit down and eat hehehe.

OK, talk less, more pictures….

The Blue Angels...awesome!

Charlie's Angels (Me, Alex & Jen)

Tom Yam...yum yum!

Alhamdulillah, 3rd day puasa for the family. Kekadang memang terasa nikmat Ramadan nih.

One word for me…SABAR. Let it be at work, the kids or just about anything. Tak lah sabar sampai takder reaction, but instead of counting to 5 (yes I count to 5 jer), I start counting to 15. The kids tend to get too tired to argue when they come back from school. Balik rumah, buat homework, baca buku, dah tuh duduk jer or play rugby at the backyard till almost buka time.

The husband did the sweetest thing yesterday. Alah orang mengidam nak berbuka nih, I was craving for Tom Yam Soup. I made one huge pot of Tam Yam soup last Friday and yesterday I was craving for it again. The husband was acting so indifferent to me, when I mentioned Tom Yam jer, he said 'yeah I dunno what I'm gonna cook tonight, maybe chicken again'. Then I went home and saw the Tom Yam soup brewing!!!! Hehehehehe…..happy gila! Dapat juga buka tom yam soup. Thank you sweet husband…I really appreciate it! Muahs!

My migraine is still lurking, the 'best friend' has arrived but this stupid migraine wouldn’t depart. I am trying not to be too dependent on medication. But sometimes gotta do what you gotta do. The classical music is still blaring, I wish I could just stay in bed and get rid of this pressure on the right side of my brain.

In the meantime…it's Thursday here! One more day and comes the weekend!

SELAMAT BERPUASA SEMUA!

Today's our second day of puasa. There were some confusions in my family in determining the day to start puasa. Some websites indicated Tuesday, some Wednesday. Our arabic foster parents at the halal meat market said Tuesday and so did Ayu (she got the info from Indus Halal meat market).

First day of puasa went well with the kids. Mat did not complain about being tired after his daily 1 mile run at school. Masturah did not stop talking all day yesterday, an indication that she was not dehydrated and had tonnes of energy to spare. The husband said he lost another 2 lbs from the diet (he had lost 12 lbs so far) but I have not been feeling good so far.

The 'best friend' has not arrived and this headache just would not go away until the 'best friend' arrives. Now…I have changed my music taste. Since metal music will only aggravate my migraine, I changed to classical and opera classic songs. At least when I need to take my mind off of work, I would feel myself doing the 'tiptoes'.

Til then, selamat berpuasa!

***UPDATE***

The classical music did work! My headache seemed to have gone away. So now you would know what to do when you get those stubborn headaches!

Updated my Recipe Blog...Bubur Asyura.

PMS - 'Pissy' Mood Syndrom

I always have something to blog about on Mondays. About myself…whatelse!

I seldom fall sick but this time I think the weather transition has not been kind to me. The pollens have struck me again. Besides sneezing endlessly and experiencing slight fever, the PMS is still lingering, until the 'old friend' comes later this week.

So in the meantime, besides food cravings, I have turned into a meanie. First things first, I have to satisfy my cravings, so I have the Zero Carb Reese's Peanut Butter Cups loaded by my bedside table for 'one a day consumption' (gotta forego the apples for dessert this time). I also have the diet Pepsi and Coke in the fridge to keep me sane.

Back to me being a meanie…does it make sense to even say that I don’t even like myself? Seems like I am hating everything around me, I don’t like slow music, I only want metal, the harder the better. I don’t like to read, cos it will give me mild migraines, I don’t like talking, cos it will give me mild migraines and I don’t like to hear the kids bickering cos it will give me MAJOR migraines! Husband? He thought that I was just being mean to spite him but I had to explain to him that I don’t even like myself, so please help me like him (hehehehe…you know I still love you husband!). Yesterday, I bought myself a couple of 3lbs dumbells, husband gave me a warning that if those dumbells were to ever land on any part of his body (on one of those 'Ely naik loktang moments'), those dumbells will have to go!

So here I am, at work, on Monday morning, slumped at my desk with the metal music blasted, looking like some cranky B**CH, kinda unapproachable, kinda 'can't be bothered' with anything around me.

The sun is shining, that’s a consolation. I am wearing a dress, that’s a consolation too! I know that I will be like this for the next few days till the 'best friend' comes.

In the meantime, if I do not update this journal, it means that my husband must have locked me up in the 'dungeon' somewhere in the crawlspace of my house, until this PMS whatchamacallit is over!

Last but not least, to my twin, Intan Payung, seems like you're not feeling well likeme. At least know that we're thinking about each other :)

To my SF sister, Ayu, gurl, feel better soon OK my dear! You sounded so bad, and like I said, you need them Vitamins!

Sound of Music...

The Magic Christian

Friday
Maybe it was my PMS or I am just so burnt out from my stressful job that I requested to leave the office at 1:30pm so that I could rest at home…until the husband said that we had a concert to watch at the Beach Chalet tonight.

It was the 60’s garage rock band called the Magic Christian (not they’re so not religious) and some of the players were from other known bands in the 60’s (like Chocolate Watchband, The Tubes, etc). The night at the club was nice. We got there an hour early, sat at the bar and had some ‘sinless’ beverage and watched other groups playing. As soon as the Magic Christian started playing at 9:30, we were already sitting right up front and getting excited, the husband had his camera ready to get into action. I was just sitting there observing the crowd and the players (see how they sweat!). It was LOUD baby, LOUD…my ears rang for 24 hours!

Saturday
There was a music event at the Golden Gate Park all day Saturday and Sunday. Its called, ‘Strictly, Hardly, Bluegrass’. OK…I don’t like country music and kawasan yang sewaktu dengannya. The weather was foggy or ‘crappy’ like some SF’ans say. But it drew a large crowd into the park. There were 4 stages, different bands playing at the same time, so audience could hop from one stage to the other. But I have to admit, that I kinda like Joan Baez…she has a beautiful voice and we caught the most popular band of the day, The Knitters playing. The husband says that the event was called ‘Hardly, Strictly Bluegrass’ could be because some musicians were from rock and punk rock bands…who chose to still play...tamer music…by playing country music. Today, Dolly Parton’s suppose to sing at 5pm but no…#1, I don’t want to fight with the crowd, #2, she's not really my type (???).

It was also a good gathering with the husband’s uncle, Uncle Richard, his wife Dee and their daughter Sarah.

The Knitters

Uncle Richard & Dee

Masturah & Sarah

Sunday
Very uneventful…grocery shopping as usual and mentally getting ready for work tomorrow. Grim grim grim…