The belly is getting bigger. A co worker who just came back from the Philipines after 2 weeks says that I have grown huge…even my butt has grown huge too! Funny? Not really cos my tummy feels so tight, I cant sit up straight but sit back. I cant eat a full meal, only half a meal cos my tummy is squished by the baby. The baby moves all the time except when I am sleeping (thank God!).

Good thing is, I have not been constipating nor having leg cramps. The cravings for cakes are oh my God…so strong. Cakes with fresh cream ooooohhh….lagi sedap!

Today will be the last day that I am able to wear my Miracle Pants…the pants that are marketed as the 'most versatile' as it has a belt and you can fasten it as your pregnancy progresses. Well………….hows this, I can't use the belt and I cant zip it up as my belly's too huge. So I am left with 3 pairs of pants. That’s okay, 2 more work week to go and then I can wear my mumus (batik dress lah) at home.

The other night, I was rolling on the bed, stretched my hand to pick up the remote control on the floor, and then I got stuck! The baby decided to shift and I could not pull myself back to the bed. As soon as the husband 'towed' me back to the bed, my tummy was 'slanted' as the baby was somewhat diagonal. Yes, very very pregnant ladies do get stuck in the weirdest position. Another time was when I was picking up stuff from the floor, no, I did not squat and pick but bent over to pick…but my body was stuck in a 'rukuk' position for a few seconds before I was able to stand back up. Sometimes I have to call the the husband to 'unstuck' me. Poor me!

Walking has indeed been a task for me. Feels like a huge rock is sitting on my pelvic bone. No more speed when I walk, more like 1 mile an hour, unless I am crossing the road, then it will be 1.1 mile an hour.

Now I am worried, if the baby's 'newborn' size clothes will not fit her if shes a huge baby! I hope Sam and Salizah will not be shocked by the size of my belly when they see me tomorrow.

In the meantime, I have my birth plan ready for now. Yes, after 2 kids of braving the childbirth pain, I opting for epidural this time round. I do have others listed in my plan too. Until I moved here, I didn't know that I can indeed have a birth plan! Now I need to start preparing my 'hospital bag'. But I told the husband, by any chance if I did't get the chance to prepare my hospital bag, do not worry, I can still have the baby without my toothbrush and toothpaste as long as I have my makeup in the purse, thats all that matters!

Happy weekend everyone!!!

Eid Mubarak and Happy Birthday to me...

Today is Hari Raya. Eid Mubarak to everyone reading this.

Received a call from Sam and Salizah last night, how wonderful and heartwarming.

Today, I received a call from Singapore, Uja called and sang me a Raya song. She is always bursting with energy. You never fail to cheer me up.

Thank you Uja and Ajun for calling me. Oh and I also received your jamu, box still intact.

At least someone from there are thinking of me.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Tomorrow's my birthday. I always receive my gifts the night before my birthday, like tonight. Got my year's supply of Womens Eternity perfume which I have run out of, a JBL iPod docking station and a Coach wallet/purse (which Mas says that Paps bought the wrong one for me). A handmade Birthday Card from London also came with the gifts. At least this time the husband knows that he would not get me the same card like 2 years back (yes, the same birthday card 2 years in a row!).

Thank you for the gifts Mas and Paps. I am now waiting for my cake from Dianda's!

Listed the ingredients for cooking today.
Went to the asian supermarket, dragged the husband, he knows that Ely's on a Hari Raya grocery shopping spree. Exciting, they have finally imported the Kara santan in the box! Got the ingredients for kuah lodeh and rendang and sambal goreng pengantin. Decided to make my own kerisik...no problem.

Hmmm, today's menu will be kuah lodeh, sambal tumis and lontong is boiling in the pot. Husband says, don't forget to cook the chicken, he must have meat...so I might make ayam goreng for tonight.

Rendang and sambal goreng will be cooked on Friday night for potluck at Sam & Sal's. Talk about Sal, just sneaked a peek at Alya's blog, got kueh raya, best nya! No kueh raya for us this year. This cook here has no energy to be a baker. Oh and thank you for the lovely Alaya Raya card and the Alya stamp...adorable. And we have also received your gift from Babys R Us...big thank you! I know we owe Alya something nice :)

It is Hari Raya for us tomorrow, Monday, 10/23/06. We paid our tithe. So tonight we will have the big dinner...

Yesterday was our hospital tour. It was refreshing for me, seeing tiny babies always lifts my spirits. I tend to compare the size of the rooms when I delivered at Mount Elizabeth Hospital in Singapore...still can't beat the large delivery room there but this will do. Then we went to 3 different megastores and finally decided on a stroller. the worst part, after deciding, they were out of stock...thanks to internet shopping, we got our stroller! Then we spent hours on the net looking for a crib comforter set for the munchkin...have decided on a Hello Kitty set but still bookmarking possibilities.

I have been emotional past days. Miss my son, anger over the whole scenario. I feel for my daughter. Somehow or rather, I think my daughter has been hit emotionally the most as she has lost a sibling who was with her everyday of her life. We all try not to talk about Raya...all I can do is cry and then recover, cry and then recover. Allah must have given me so much strength to have stayed sane and have my baby to be delivered in a few weeks...Subhanallah...only He knows how I as a mother feel right now.

To my husband, thank you for being here for me. The pain, the sorrow, the tears and the heartache, you are here.

Raya this year will be just like any other year. Since it will fall on a Monday for us, I will do my masak masak on Sunday. Nothing much really, just kuah lodeh and lontong and sambal tumis for that day. The big masak masak will be next weekend when we have potluck at Sam and Sal's house. My piece will be rendang and sambal goreng pengantin…I LOVE to cook so I am really looking forward to it.

This year, hari raya will just be the 3 of us. The husband, the daughter and me. We will be in our respective offices and school on Monday. Yes…no holidays and I know someone at the other end of the world always says that we do not respect Syawal just because we are working on that day (oh come on!).

As raya approaches, it gets harder for me. As it is, the year had not been that happy for me. This day only adds more sorrows in my heart and my daughter's…my husband always takes on more sorrows when his 'ladies' are in sorrow moods. This is my first year not listening to any raya songs for sanity sake. My daughter and I just had a huddled crying session over the emotions that she is going through (never mind ibu, I can keep my emotions). My daughter is still trying to get use to not having her brother with her all the time and running out of ideas on how to amuse herself. Sometimes we wonder if anyone on the other side of the world would even wonder how we're feeling. Sigh…

But life goes on, at least we will have a big meal on Sunday, insyaAllah go to the nearest mosque to pay tithe and be part of the celebration. The next weekend will be with our friends and then the weekend after too…with home improvements in between.

My mother in law is also moving from Florida to Reno and there will be more reunions to come. Some friends have been contacting us, some living in Sacramento, to meet up with us before I deliver. Yup, they love last minute meet ups.

To those who are with their families, please treasure your family, especially your beloved kids. They are the diamonds in your heart and irreplaceable. We always do not re

Selamat Hari Raya to all my readers, Maaf Zahir Batin and thank you for your kind wishes :)

If my son is reading this, everyone is thinking of you here.

Now where should I start? So much to talk about as usual.

Remember I told you before that I would be working all the way till the baby decides to pop? I was very adamant about it, saying that I would really be okay? Well, I lied. As of Saturday, I realized that I am REALLY beginning to S-L-O-W...down. The need for a bench or a chair is so great after every 20 minutes of walking. The constant trips up and down the aisle in tbe office is enough to make me huff and puff when I reach a co worker's workstation and then only to yawn and almost fall asleep as we are talking about work. I get tired at any time of the day and my bladder gets tickled by the little munchkin even when its empty and laying in bed when I am home. When I sit down, the tummy feels crunched up and the baby would stretch for more space, cramping my ribcage. Fun? Can't comment on that!

So what has been pre-determined as I reach 36 weeks of pregnancy? That I will go on early Disability to stay home and wait for the egg to hatch. I have no choice as I know that my body will denfinitly not allow me to run around that much. At least that will give me the chance to be home, in bed, get our bedroom+nursery ready and the only exercise I would get might be the constant visitations to the mall (what? I could hear the husband yelling at me saying 'Give me those credit cards!!!').

The boss is ready for my early take off. Maybe cos he can't stand seeing me waddling and yawning each time I see him. He is also learning to delegate tasks to his 2 other assistant managers so that I could 'dissolve' slowly while being cross trained.

In the meantime, I can't count how many times we have visited Ikea in the past 3 weeks. Can I say 3 times? Yes 3 times. From getting some essential furniture, to the baby's dresser, dining chairs, etc etc. As for the last visit last weekend, it was hard for me not to sit down when I was trying my best to complete my round at the showroom. It was HARD. The discomfort is not on the back or hips but more on the tummy, the weight of the tummy throws me off balance and gives me the stitches. Even the trip to Costco was such hardship for me, only to feel better when I told myself that I could be eating the Kosher hotdogs at their Deli after paying for the groceries!

So we have decided not to change the flooring for the bedroom but just call Stanley Steemer again to steam the carpet. Then we're going to set up the baby's dresser, crib and the husband's new computer desk. With the early disability leave that I intend to take, the room should be ready to go by the time the baby arrives. Oh and we're also going to put an old rocker in the bedroom and a glider in the living room. My new 'butt resting' nests after the husband's comfortable new living room chair!!!

Like this one...please ignore the red chairs to my right, they will be out of the house by this weekend!

Such a sucker for personal goodness I am! Especially when I in a 'round the clock discomfort'.

I was at the Hair Salon promptly at 10am. Le, my hairdresser was already busy doing someone's hair. 'A few more minutes okay'...she yelled to me and I said okay. I went to the store and got myself a bottled water and then sat on the only available chair in the waiting area, holding my Life & Style magazine...ahemm, wanted to show Le... Jennifer Lopez's picture, to look like her...eh no, to have the same haircolor like her!

While I was flipping the pages, a 4 year old who sat next to me asked,'Excuse me, could I have that magazine when you're done?' Eh eh budak nih...so I said,'Well, I need this magazine to show to the hairdresser how I want my hair to look like'. Thinking that I am some kind of nut, she said 'Ohhhhhh, okay' but she kept poking her head in front of me to see the pages as I was flipping through them. NO...I am not giving her my magazine!

Le's few minutes turned into 30 minutes. Not that I really care...I could see her straightening this 4 year old mom's hair, and then said hold on to her and took in another customer to do her eyebrows and then went back to the mom. Busy busy busy.

Then it was my turn, and at the same time, a regular customer nyonya came in and said that she needed her hair colored and wanted it quick. This lady is always there when I am. But Le, attended to me first, I showed her the Jennifer Lopez picture, dark base color with skinny streaks. I told her 'I want this haircolor but you really do not have to make me look like her!'. To make the story short, the whole process was about 2.5 hours, which I did not mind at all.

I loved my hair and scalp being massaged, my head put into that hairdryer bubble thingy that almost put me to sleep. Then the manicure/pedicure girl came up to me and asked me for the 6th time when I am due to deliver (she asks me each time I come by) and asked me if I would like a pedicure while my head is in the bubble. No, I really could not spend more money!

By the time I was done, the manicure/pedicure girl was on her way to selling me a ceramic straightening iron that costs $100...errr...'No sister, I really do not need that iron as I have one at home' (though not as good as hers lah).

But I left the place happy, feeling pampered and having the haircolor like Jennifer Lopez...and a substantial amount of money poorer.

At least when I was at a gf's birthday party after that, they all said that the haircolor looked great!

Remember the last time I colored my hair at the salon in Singapore with Makcik Hopes? Well, I have grossly outgrown on the color and the roots have grown up to 4 inches in length and I surely do look like a skunk. Time for me to spend the money on a different color and highlights again! Of course, it will not be as cheap as when I did it back in Singapore.

The husband was asking why I am not coloring my hair out of the box like I use to do. My answer? Cos I am pregnant and this is the only way for me to make myself feel that I am trying to make myself look better. Well it is not a lame excuse right right right? I do need to feel good about myself especially during the last few weeks of this pregnancy when I am feeling fat, full and heavy. Also, I know that the husband will be taking tonnes of pictues when the baby is born so hopefully, the colors and highlights will not be outgrown and my hair would still look perfect when the time comes!

So I have made the appointment to see Le, my hairdresser. 10am Saturday morning. I am excited!

Everyone's talking about raya preparation especially when you are living back home I have read some bloggers posting about Roti John, kueh Badak Berendam, Kueh keria and all. And some bloggers are already posting about how much they have covered for raya preparation. Baju raya warna aper, kain sampin warna aper. And me??? All I talk about is work and pregnancy eh?

Sigh...it is surely different when you live in another part of the world. Life goes on of course, puasa tetap puasa (not me lah but the rest of my family members), buka tetap buka. But no bazaar, no baju raya (I can't fit into mine) and maybe plans to visit a few friends on that raya weekend. Very quiet ramadan and very quiet Eid for us. Sometimes if Eid falls on a weekday, I do go to work and the kids go to school (of course this does not sit well with one of my parents who think that we do not respect Eid).

Do I wish now that I would be home to celebrate Eid? Not this year. With happenings back home, I also sometimes wonder why I went back 2 months ago, only to come home with hurt and depression.

Now that we're busy preparing our home for this little munchkin, I have to avoid from feeling depressed for fear of pre-term labor. 8 more weeks to go, I am always 10 days early so can I say that I have 6 more weeks to go? We'll see...

To readers back home and anywhere in the world, happy preparing for raya okay. Ingatlah daku ketika makan rendang dan lontong tuh. Don't worry, rendang and lontong will be on our table on raya, not forgetting sambal goreng too!

ps : ooooh, I know that I have to call our friends here to meet up for buka puasa. Sorry ladies, insyaAllah, I will call soon, just need to find time and put my Swiffer duster and garbage bags away!

Is this nesting too?

Like I mentioned in my previous post, the home improvement stops on weekdays and we really mean it.

But my progression of being cross trained in 3 job skills within a time period of about 8 weeksn from now, is 1/3 off the ground. I have completed the training in cashiering, now I am going to the 2nd stage of cashiering. That would take me 2 weeks to complete (as its more complicating) and then proceed to another job skill which is totally different but involves money too.

Imagine me, a person who never carries more than $100 in cash (only ATMs and credit cards please) being trained at the front line to receive cash everyday, sometimes large amounts to balance at the end of the day. I thought I was going to be a nervous wreck when I started doing it but seems like I was enjoying it. Counting money which is not mine and not having to think on how to spend it (hahahahaha...!), and then putting them into the huge safe.

But what amazes me is being in my last trimester of pregnancy, with huge tummy hanging out and with a bad bad bad memory (pregnancy brain) and keeps dropping her pens and papers expecting co workers to pick them up for me, but can still absorb and learn new skills. Of course, I have to write them ALL down, every step and procedures.

Forgetfulness...it is so bad that

• I forget to go lunch with a co worker and went with another instead

• forget to order business cards for the new office which opened last week, only to remember 2 days before opening (boss had to bite his tongue and he knows I have the pregnancy brain but he was pissed as hell!)
• forget to water my office plants a few times that some leaves turned yellow (but they decided not to die)
• and guess what...even forget to take my 15 minutes coffee breaks!

My co workers jested saying that I will forget what I have learned just as fast. But God help me please....I hope not!

I guess I am nesting at work too eh?

The nesting begins...

I have approximately 9 more weeks before the baby arrives. Yes...9 more weeks. So much to do and so little time.

We are 95% completed on the hard wood flooring project in our living room, with just the wood siding to be fixed. The husband painted the living room with a very warm orange. We brought down all the wall deco and are going to start over including the drapes. We need to change the futon mattress to a fluffier one. Then we need to get 2 armchairs to complete the furnishing. We also need new lighting.

And then we have our bedroom to change the floorings on, maybe paint it, buy a new king sized bed and then baby furniture.

Realistically, we do not do home improvement on weekdays. So we're down to about 8 weekends...thats 16 days in total. Do you think we can complete all these in 9 weeks?

We'll see...