Suraya went to the San Francisco Zoo to visit her goatie relatives...videos taken from the husband's Blackjack II.

Am I over the depression yet? Yeah, kind of. The monthly best friend came and is almost leaving. So one monster down...so my husband says.

Like I said in my previous post. ALOT happened this month, most of them not too good, more on my career. As we sell more insurance, more cant afford to pay for their insurance and cancel eh? This means that, as policies cancel, they minus my production. So this month had been so trying for me. But I managed to hit $10k above target but still not my best, sigh.

When all these happens, I could say that I am still not over the fact that I have a very good close friend who is thousands of miles away from me. Would we ever be physically close friends (as in real time best friends lah not what you think okay!)? Not sure, unless her husband decides to move to San Francisco and then we could be neighbors. Neighbors, thats our fantasy each time we chat.

Its very weird this friend of mine, my twin. I always feel how she feels, I do not expect her to feel like I do but when she knows that I am feeling down, she is always here to hunt me down. She knows she can find me on my cell as my messenger is always turned on. It is always nice to know that someone thinks of me almost all the time. My phone vibrates at 4am, her IM buzzing me that a tiny Hermes purse costs $23k hahaha.

Her last posting, of her song in Juara Lagu TV3 for the week, the song, I know she did not have ME in her mind when she composed it but heck, it felt as though it was composed for ME. I get teary eyed when I listened to it. Of course, my favorite singer pulak tuh. I am so proud of her.

Anyway, twin, I know that we will be BFF (Best Friends Forever), thanks to technology. You will always be close to my heart and mind. Thanks to my Palm Centro, at least now I can chat with you when I am at a restaurant, laying in bed with breast latched on to the baby or having breakfast.

You are awesome and I love you!!!

You do not hear this from me too much....but...I am feeling rather depressed lately. I dont know why. Could it be because Kakak Mas is not here and I am in dire need of a good friend at home when the husband is at work? Or is it cos I am just so sick and tired of my current office situation and this month, I am behind in my numbers?

My boss had decided to keep me for another month in Daly City before I transfer in September. He had put up some restrictions in writing new insurance which had cut back my business quite a bit, just so that I would not get in trouble or 'canned' by not following HIS guidelines. On top of that, the other manager has been so passive in helping us to fire up for more sales.

Why am I feeling so depressed and unmotivated? Maybe its my PMS. I am having major major PMS this month. I am moody, irritated and do not feel like coming to work.

I am making kind of up to par with my production but I know that I will not hit the fantastical phenominal numbers like the past months. I just want to get out of this freakin' office....sigh.

Kakak Mas...come home quick!!!

How does it feel to be #1 Rep in the office for the month of June? I did not expect it. It was scarey. Being a rookie rep, this was not suppose to happen....right?

Contrary to that, this month started off very very S-L-O-W. The 1st week of July I could understand due to Independence week but week after that? Hmmm...I think I am a little behind with my numbers. I hope lady luck will come back from her vacation or wake up to sit on my shoulders like months before. I am very good at freakin' out before the finish line. I mean, its not even the 15th and I am freakin' out. Must be the kiasu syndrome embedded in me hhahaha.

In the meantime, my decision to move to the San Francisco office still stays very strongly. I was offered the sales rep spot, now the managers will have to fight as to when I can transfer to SF.

We are all missing Kakak Mas very much. She is having a good ole time there. She better come back or I would fly there and pull her by the ear back to SF!

I think I have made up my mind. Wasn't that a contradictory statement? 'Think' and 'made up mind' all in the same sentence?

I have made up my mind, I think (hahahaha)....that I am moving back to the San Francisco office.

5 minutes further from home, won't make or break me.

I think I will be happier and be more successful going back to San Francisco.

So Kakak Mas, if you're reading this, dont be confused as to which office I will be driving to when you get back here.

In the meantime, weekend without Kakak Mas sucks...big time! The husband works, I have noone to talk to...well Suraya's here but she can't communicate like her sister. On the up side, it makes me do more chores and quicker too!

For once, this long July 4th weekend is boring me to tears!!!

Dearest Mas,

You are right now flying in the air on your way to Singapore
But we are all here thinking of you
Its only been 8 hours since you left
But my I had been feeling so sad, lonely and missing you alot since I left you at the airport
Noone for me to argue with, noone to pick on
Suraya has no idea what is going on but she surely has been clingy to Paps and me

Its almost 8pm now, usually thats the time when we watch tv and talk about stupid stuff
5 weeks of you not being around is a long time, but we shall live
Make sure you spend good quality time with you brother as your time with him is very limited
I wish I was there to be with you guys as I miss Mat so very much

Keep me posted on happenings
We are all thinking of you here...

We love you!!!

Love...Ibu