Aaaaahhhhhh, finally satisfied my craving for telur ikan!!!! It was so hard when you're craving. Went to chinatown, no trace of telur ikan. Good thing, a cousin was coming here with his family for vacation again and he brought me 6 large pieces of telur ikan, siap dah masak suma!
So as soon as he touched down and checked into the hotel, the husband and I went to meet her at the hotel. Aiyooooooooooo, so happy to see the cousin and his family. We could talk forever I tell ya! Cos this cousin of mine is one of the closest to my family.
After the hotel visit, I couldn’t resist the wait and scarfed a big piece of telur ikan in the car. The husband, who does not favor stinky stuff just could not say anything to a craving woman except making me promise to never bring the telur ikan into the bedroom. Oh hey, I wasn’t listening when he said that.
The cousins are going to Lake Tahoe today and shall return to the city for 2 days before heading to LA. This is not their 1st trip here and they're pretty road savvy when it comes to travelling. Tomorrow night, we're going to have a big dinner at our favorite indian restaurant, yay!
Hmmm…serious talk now.
The kids are flying to Singapore on Monday. The daughter is nervous about flying without her parents. Eventhough the brother says,'Well, your BIG brother will be here with you!'…like that’s going to make her feel better...
Another reason why she is nervous is cos of her father. She has been pretty 'hard hearted' with her father for many reasons. It is a pretty sore subject to her where her father's concern. But last night, bapak called and told me the latest news about their father. That hes living with a divorcee (God knows if he married the woman cos the last time bapak asked he was not married to her) with 3 kids. As you know, my network of family is HUGE…a cousin said that she saw my ex with 2 kids and a boy called him 'ayah'.
Anyway, bapak is concern about the kids visiting their father due to his marital situation. He does not want the kids to be confused. As you know, this ex matter is also my sore subject. So I told him that I would discuss this matter with the husband who is more experienced in this.
The husband, being american and seeing that cohabitation is not an issue here says that we should tell the kids on whats happening to their father before bapak says it and makes it sound negative. Well…that kinda made sense to me.
Long talk…the truth was said, the son was happy that his father found another. Who cares if hes married cos son says that that’s not his business. But he will be happy to meet their father. The little lady on the other hand was crying when she heard the news. Not cos her father has found a woman but the hurt….the hurt that she has been feeling from the divorce never left her.
Again, this is a sore subject to me. I could not say a word when she was bawling. I had to signal the husband indicating that she was uncontrollable. So there the husband again, comforted her and put some senses in her. All she said to us was,'WHY do I have to go see him? Where was he when I was 7? Where was he when he promised to see us every weekend when we were there? He also did not give us child support!'. As you know, I get emotional when this happens.
This morning, I asked the daughter how she was feeling. She said,'I don’t know, still sore but a little better'. I tried to talk to some senses into her telling her that she should see her father just to keep in touch and it is good for her father to have found another woman. Then she said,'You know that I love you the most and noone can replace you right?' Now wasn’t that sweet? And I said,'I know, and I will always love you too. But I will feel so happy if your father's girlfriend loves you too. More people to love you!'. We left the conversation as that.
So now our main project before the kids leave for Singapore is to try change the daughter's adamant mind about not seeing her father. But if it fails, then she had been told that noone will ever force her to see her father. When paps goes to Singapore, paps could take her to see her father.
My kids are so precious to me. Yes, I admit that I do get very possessive with them especially when it comes to their father. But I cant deny that they have a father and they deserve to get to know their father instead of growing up with ill feelings toward him ('the ex being always a jerk' aside).
The last visit, I was not allowed to meet the ex in person as the husband says that I would have a shouting match with him (from experience). But maybe my attitude would change this time. Maybe I will get to see the woman who is making him happy…not to judge, but at least to feel relief that the ex is finally picking up his pieces, which I had done more than 5 years back. Maybe this time, the visit will also be an eye opener for me, who knows.
So as soon as he touched down and checked into the hotel, the husband and I went to meet her at the hotel. Aiyooooooooooo, so happy to see the cousin and his family. We could talk forever I tell ya! Cos this cousin of mine is one of the closest to my family.
After the hotel visit, I couldn’t resist the wait and scarfed a big piece of telur ikan in the car. The husband, who does not favor stinky stuff just could not say anything to a craving woman except making me promise to never bring the telur ikan into the bedroom. Oh hey, I wasn’t listening when he said that.
The cousins are going to Lake Tahoe today and shall return to the city for 2 days before heading to LA. This is not their 1st trip here and they're pretty road savvy when it comes to travelling. Tomorrow night, we're going to have a big dinner at our favorite indian restaurant, yay!
Hmmm…serious talk now.
The kids are flying to Singapore on Monday. The daughter is nervous about flying without her parents. Eventhough the brother says,'Well, your BIG brother will be here with you!'…like that’s going to make her feel better...
Another reason why she is nervous is cos of her father. She has been pretty 'hard hearted' with her father for many reasons. It is a pretty sore subject to her where her father's concern. But last night, bapak called and told me the latest news about their father. That hes living with a divorcee (God knows if he married the woman cos the last time bapak asked he was not married to her) with 3 kids. As you know, my network of family is HUGE…a cousin said that she saw my ex with 2 kids and a boy called him 'ayah'.
Anyway, bapak is concern about the kids visiting their father due to his marital situation. He does not want the kids to be confused. As you know, this ex matter is also my sore subject. So I told him that I would discuss this matter with the husband who is more experienced in this.
The husband, being american and seeing that cohabitation is not an issue here says that we should tell the kids on whats happening to their father before bapak says it and makes it sound negative. Well…that kinda made sense to me.
Long talk…the truth was said, the son was happy that his father found another. Who cares if hes married cos son says that that’s not his business. But he will be happy to meet their father. The little lady on the other hand was crying when she heard the news. Not cos her father has found a woman but the hurt….the hurt that she has been feeling from the divorce never left her.
Again, this is a sore subject to me. I could not say a word when she was bawling. I had to signal the husband indicating that she was uncontrollable. So there the husband again, comforted her and put some senses in her. All she said to us was,'WHY do I have to go see him? Where was he when I was 7? Where was he when he promised to see us every weekend when we were there? He also did not give us child support!'. As you know, I get emotional when this happens.
This morning, I asked the daughter how she was feeling. She said,'I don’t know, still sore but a little better'. I tried to talk to some senses into her telling her that she should see her father just to keep in touch and it is good for her father to have found another woman. Then she said,'You know that I love you the most and noone can replace you right?' Now wasn’t that sweet? And I said,'I know, and I will always love you too. But I will feel so happy if your father's girlfriend loves you too. More people to love you!'. We left the conversation as that.
So now our main project before the kids leave for Singapore is to try change the daughter's adamant mind about not seeing her father. But if it fails, then she had been told that noone will ever force her to see her father. When paps goes to Singapore, paps could take her to see her father.
My kids are so precious to me. Yes, I admit that I do get very possessive with them especially when it comes to their father. But I cant deny that they have a father and they deserve to get to know their father instead of growing up with ill feelings toward him ('the ex being always a jerk' aside).
The last visit, I was not allowed to meet the ex in person as the husband says that I would have a shouting match with him (from experience). But maybe my attitude would change this time. Maybe I will get to see the woman who is making him happy…not to judge, but at least to feel relief that the ex is finally picking up his pieces, which I had done more than 5 years back. Maybe this time, the visit will also be an eye opener for me, who knows.
19 comments:
oh boy...very sticky situation this one. but in due time Mas will be able to forgive. like u always say, you won't force her to do anything she is not ready to do.
and that telur ikan.Good for you!! and pat pat encik sid presley on the back for letting u eat it in the car.
twin, yup sticky and sore. alot of tears involved. thank goodness i have a husband who cares for my kids and cares to talk to them abt this.
the telur ikan, hmm, i am saving it for dinner with rice and kicap tonight!!!!!!
i miss u twin, hope to chat with u soon!
...pat encik sid presley on the back for letting u eat it in the car
Little things like this certainly are a true test of whether the marriage was meant to be.
A'kum ely, my heart goes out to you and your children because I am in the same situation (but not the pregnant part..hehe). Sabar dan tenang2 kan hati. Walaupun Masturah terasa berat, hopefully everything will work out fine. InsyaAllah.
BIG HUGGG for Mas & her mama too!
Sid Presley and I have same vote on telur ikan. re: children meeting their father - It'll be okay - they need to and they will be alright. Take care!
Telur ikan!!! I don't even know if they have that here!! *SOBS* But I DID see telur sotong here, so that's great!! Imagine cooking that with curry. Oooooh.
Hey, you're being one principled momma by telling Mas that no matter what, here dad's her dad. I've come across many women who couldn't do that with their kids (although granted the husbands were horrid) and that ended up backfiring against them when the kids grew up as the kids then turned on them to say that the moms taught the kids to hate their fathers, naudzubillah. You did a good thing. Mas knows that. She's just struck with emotion right now and she's entitled to that.
sid_presley....well????u kicked me out of the dining area when i was eating the telur ikan for dinner! so what have u gotta say abt that?
kiambang suri, thank you, i am sure she will be ok. she still sometimes does not want to talk about it.
AM, huggs back my dear!
KT!!!! welcome back to the blogworld. i miss u so much!
blabs, well my dear, if not cos of the husband, i would have NEVER said that. since the husband's parents went thru the ugly divorce when he was young, he knows what the kids are going thru. so i support whichever way i can. seems like the ex is realizing that he needs to keep in contact with the kids more. but heck, i wont do a full promotion for the ex. that would be the husband's part. maybe u will find the telur ikan there...slowly but surely lah sayang!
wei! now you are making ME think of telur ikan..yang goreng dengan kunyit and garam and super-garing on the outside...wooo!! Mana aku nak cari kat canada ni? cet!
Abt Mas, Allah will guide her on what's best. Especially as a reward for both you and D on how you raised her well.)
Ely,
Kat sini ada telur ikan but I have to drive like 2 hours to the fisherman's store.. So kalau you nak telur ikan datang sini nanti I belikan telur ikan tuh.. Insha Allah.. that's if the telur ikan still there.. :)
Anyway, wish your children safe journey to Singapore and back home.. :)
uja, thank you. insyaAllah, she will be fine. as for telur ikan, try cari lah dont give ok uja! psst, kau nih tgh mengidam ker?hehehe
suriyati, hehe thats ok, i have enough telur ikan to last me till i get to singapore in 3 weeks.
ely, i'm sure mas will be fine, god willing.
hmm...today i masak telur kari telur ikan tenggiri and am saving my tummy for dinner nanti. tiba2 teringat cerita batu belah batu bertangkup, what if the telur ikan habis, nanti mama kempunan..keh keh keh!
*big hug*
sometime the kid can handle and see through the issue much better than adults. I think she will be alright.
now u've made ME crave for telur ikan!! dah berzaman tak makan! And cubit Sid Presly sikit for kicking u out from the dining area!!
ya lah..this reminds me of Batu Belah Batu Bertangkup!
mama rock, yes! batu belah batu bertangkup. when i was craving for it, i could really remember the script of that old movie!
ayong, hug back. i am sure she will be ok. shes a strong girl!
mammal, aiyo gua miss sama luh banyak2! crave? am i reading the word crave???????????? ahemm...
wo that was something. post divorce thing is really hard to get by especially with the kids. I know someone whose daugther would prevent the father from marrying so that the father would get back with themother but in the end, the mother married another chap.
I hope your kids will understand it one day, that maybe the matter should be left as it is.
tapi kadang kala, she might feel out of place especially when seeing there are 'replacement' of sort. you know la, girls lebih perasa dari boys
Ely :
Hugs to Mas.
Thanks for the entry. Need to know the ropes when/if my daughter is facing the same issues later. Mr Sid Presley - you're a gem too.
Divorce is always hard on children. But the good thing here is that all lines of communication between your children are good. So you know how they are feeling and if they are ok.
Hi Ely,
Was bloghopping from Alya's website and just want to say I luv reading yr blog!!!
I know how the kids feel especially I'm from this kinda of background too. The only thing is that your kids are lucky to hv u and your hubby to support and console them. Whereas for me and my 3 sisters, we are being "thrown" into a new world by ourselves. Learning and figuring the term "divorce".
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