Aftermath...

It was a beautiful wedding, very jewish, very personable and very very memorable. I get to meet 'new' cousins of the husband's whom he had not seen for over 20 years. For the siblings, it was another reunion for us.

Firstly, I reached the in laws place with the in laws busy counting the number of gift baskets for each room of the hotel that they have booked for the guests in Miami Beach...40 rooms altogether. Yes, not 4, not 14 but 40. The bride (my sister in law) just left the house and she was frantic...frantic as in panicky. The next night, 2 nights before the wedding, Kimberly, the SIL (sister in law) was begging for help in tying the ribbons for the wedding program. Here comes the SIL made in heaven (me lah) shooing her from the MIL's house and telling her to go home and get some sleep. The bride, wanting her wedding to be nothing but perfect had been so emotional, she cried over every little thing that did not fall into place. Sometimes nak jugak rasa macam nak cekik budak nih suruh bawak bersabar.

(Skipping my kebaya part, refer to pictures)The ceremony was held that the jewish temple. Like I said, my first ever jewish wedding. It went so well, at the end of the ceremony, guess who was bawling away besides my brother in laws?

Then came the oh so wonderful wedding banquet. If you have watched the Wedding Crashers, thats the exact scenario of how my sister in law described it to be. Life music, the 'Hava Nagila' chair dance and tonnes of 80's live music to dance to. I think my kebaya outfit attracted the attention of the cameramen...ahemm, enjoy it while it lasted eh?

We had been having late nights preparing for the wedding, the rehearsal dinner, the wedding and the aftermath. Right now, my eyes are hardly open...begging for beauty sleep before work tomorrow.

I love my husband's family. They're a bunch of good people who loves me as much as I love them!

Enjoy the pics, ask me questions if you want to :)

The invitation


The Bride


The ceremony


Happily Married


With the Bride


With mom in law


Errr, the Ratu Kebaya and her kids


The husband and step brothers


The husband, the bride, the sister (she rocks!!!)


The dance

More pictures...click on the thumbnail and click next for enlarged slideshow.

The time has come...

for us to leave,
the wedding is over...oh how beautiful it was,
another day left before we go,
with all the nice memories that we will hold...
in our hearts...FOREVER

To Florida We're Going...

Hence, this blog will be on sleep mode until I return.

Packing for the family gets easier now when the kids are older. They can pick out their own clothes to wear and shoes that they think they might need when they get there.

Took me only 30 minutes to pack the suitcase…on my part. Any tank tops, summer skirts, dresses and t shirts go into the suitcase. A pair of slippers, strappy ones for the wedding and tennis shoes for when I do my daily exercise are already in there. My kebaya will go in last, since it has been pressed, I shall spread it in the suitcase so that it will have minimal crease.

Bapak has arrived, he is doing his activities as usual…of pampering the kids, and enjoying the neighborhood when the kids are in school. He has requested that rice is a mandatory existance at mealtimes. So we have to buy rice (yup, we have all have been on a no rice diet!).

Dad in law, on the other hand, has been calling almost everyday to ensure that our preparations are on time, so that we won't forget anything, and that we have enough decent wear for the dinner rehearsal, the night before the actualy wedding. He's also getting as excited as we are. I am sure even the grannies' pug (the dog) is also as excited as the grannies.

Thank you in advance to Sam and Lilac to be so kind as to giving us a ride to the SJ Airport and back. We owe you big time!

Pictures will follow….

So there, update of this blog before we all leave…so long!

Pediatrician Office Saga

Something rare happened yesterday.

I had to take the daughter to the pediatrician as she has been getting this weird 'itchy scratchy' spasms which last only 10 seconds each time. So I called the pediatric office 2 days before the appointment.

Myrna, the nurse : 'So, new patient, first time coming to this office.' (we just changed medical insurance plan).

Ely the mom : 'Yes'

Myrna : 'Which Dr would you like to see? We have 5 Drs, Dr Ananda, Dr Chin, Dr Cliff, blah blah blah'…literally.

Ely : 'Well, you know, this is my first time bringing my daughter. Could you recommend me one?'

Myrna : 'Hmmm, we don’t recommend Drs, you know what I mean. But I can help you choose…Dr Ananda is Asian, Dr Chin is Chinese Asian, Dr Cliff is White, blah blah blah'

Ely already laughing : 'Girl, you are so funny! Your description is way beyond your call of duty! But hmmm, Dr Ananda sounds good'

Myrna laughing : 'Ely, you're giving me problem here, now you want me to choose the Dr for you. OK Dr Ananda, but wait! What kind of asian are you? Filipino? Chinese? Indonesian?'

Ely : 'INDONESIAN? How did you know that I am one? OK, Dr Ananda then.'

Yes, my Singapore ID indicates that I am indonesian. It does not make sense as it does not describe ethnicity but more like nationality. But I do know dang well that my parents are Jawa Peranakan (hehehe).

So to the Dr we went. Met Dr Ananda, nice beautiful, big eyes and very very friendly. She could not diagnose the little lady as the itchy scratchy was not flaring when we were in the Dr's office. She asked the little lady tonnes of questions, from her habits to her food to her puberty etc etc. Then the Dr gave her some anti allergy toiletries for her to use as step one.

When the consultation was over, I asked her what ethnicity she was. She said that she is indonesian. So I told her that I am malay, but says indonesian on my ID. My great grannies were from Java and my parents could speak some javanese words but not me. That was enough to trigger her jump for joy….'ahhhhh, a fellow man' kind of joy, you know what I mean? Then we started talking…in english, as she speaks only splatters of Bahasa, that did not deter her from giving me a hug before I left the office.

It was a nice visit, a meaningful visit to the pediatrician. Went home, let the husband know what happened and he was amazed…its so rare to find someone who comes from my little island or somewhere close to it in our everyday lives. But when we do, we tend to stick together. Like the Indonesian Consular employee who still calls me for advise on her insurance and the Singapore Consular who calls to make changes on their insurance in exchange for some immigration questions I have hehehe. I do get Singaporean and Malaysian customers visiting me at the office just to say hello or just to say that they're in town.

Isn't that nice? Something that we totally take for granted when we're back home.

Isn't it Sunday?

The husband : 'Ely wake up, its 6am!'
Me : 'Why are you waking me up so erly? Its Sunday!'
The husband : 'OK, go back to bed then.'

Then I heard the daughter in the shower humming away…darn it! So it IS MONDAY! Eeeeeeeeeee, liat betul nak bangun nih. Should I call in sick? Cos I really am SICK and tired of working. How I wish I could just stay home and go to work when I am ready (like the husband) or not even come in just cos its Monday!

Consolation to me, boss is in Sacramento on site visit, he will still be there tomorrow for a class, including the other assistant managers. So at least I will have time to write this entry muahahhahahaha.

So…update on looking for a bigger house to move. We have cancelled the idea as we have decided to improve the condition of this 80 year old house. There is a detached structure at the backyard that we do laundry in hence, its called the laundry house. We have decided to move the laundry facilities to the garage downstairs and make that a room/house/pad for the son. Sounds easy? Not really, firstly, we have to shell out at least $1.5k to reverse the laundry piping to the garage (that’s from 'up the hill motion' to 'down the hill motion;, house is on the hill remember!), then we have to move the washer and dryer down the flights of stairs and into the garage, as we all know that the washer and dryer are not feather weight japanese branded ones. Then we need to paint the inside of the little house, redo the floor and buy furniture for him. And we also have to make sure that the skunks are fully moved from under that laundry house.

So when the son is out of the kids' room, the daughter deserves for the bunk bed to be out, and get her a new set of furniture. They're still arguing on who will get the computer.

After that will be the main house's improvement. We have decided to change the floor, from the wall to wall carpet to hard wood laminate flooring. With the weather so damp and 7 cats in and out of the house, the musty and kitty smell in the house has not been kind to us. The kitchen might get a new kind of flooring as well….all DIY…hey, welcome to America where you do things YOUSELF! Oh and don’t forget the doors. We need to change the doors too.

Landscaping will be the pain in the a*s for us. The front yard is somewhat OK…full turf. But the driveway needs to be patched up. The backyard and the terrace needs 200% tender loving care. You see, we live on a slope. When it rains, the soil runs down bypasses our house and down to the driveway. So we're thinking of how to tackle this 'soil sliding' dilemma. Tuh lah, nak tinggal kat atas bukit, tapi tak tau camner nak handle hehehe.

So that’s our agenda for the year 2006.

*ooopss, I better remind the husband to replace that dead dishwasher!*

Bapak.....and Mak

Bapak has volunteered to housesit when the family goes to Florida for a week. Since he is going to be here for a month, he says that he would love to housesit and roam the city by himself when we're not around. This would not be his first visit to San Francisco…more like 6th-7th time I think?

So bapak will be coming on the 28th, 3 days before we head to the Sunshine State. And then something hit me…as much as I am so looking forward to seeing bapak again, he is coming without Mak. And then it hit me again…that I miss Mak. I miss her so much that when I was thinking of her on my way to work that I got so teary eyed. Maybe cos Bapak said that Mak would be making pineapple tarts for us and maybe some homemade cookies…priceless gifts!

I wish that Mak would come along with Bapak on this trip, but Mak is still busy working (cos she loves working!). She says that she is saving money for my kids when they go there for the summer…and for us when we get there. Not that I am expecting the parents to pay for our every expense, but I am just letting the parents do what they wanna do…to feel important.

So Mak, if you're reading this, anak Mak sayang dan rindukan ibunya. Mak selalu di ingatan kami. Oh dan terima kasih atas kueh tart yang akan diterima hehehe.

Salad, bikini and Florida...

Rabbit food…another word for salad, as per my co workers. The people in my office still cannot get use to me eating huge salad for lunch everyday…yes everyday. Rarely do they see me eat real food like baked fish or tuna melt (hmmm tuna melt sounds good to me!).

I told them that I do not torture myself to eat salad everyday. It just became a habit for me to eat salad for lunch, so that I can eat real food for dinner. It is also to discipline myself, to ensure that I get enough vegetables everyday. Even my friends like Ayu and Lilac know that I am eating normal…right?

No, I don’t feel that I am skinny yet. No , I have not gone mental yet either and no…I am not an anorexic in denial. I still have at least 10 more stubborn lbs to go before I reach my goal. With the holidays recently, I could admit that I ate carbs that I wasn’t suppose to. Thank goodness with daily 400 calories exercise has managed to make me lose more weight instead of gaining the carbs.

Now that the Florida trip is just around the corner and the wedding will be at the beach resort, all the more I feel that I need to lose even more so that number 1, I could eat more at the wedding and number 2, so that I could slip myself into that bikini...eh no..summer clothes.

I think I have lost that tropical sense of fashion, of not layering myself, but am sure it will slowly come back. The malls here have not gotten their spring collection out yet, so capris and t shirts are not selling yet. But I do have a batik sundress for the tropical weather and the slippers too (Ely doesn’t need help looking for sandals for the beach!).

Then the make up…according to theory, we should change our makeup every 6 months. I am overdue for the change, but just looking for the right time to do so…like now! I know I need a baby blue shadow for the eyes, and more shadow colors. Pink shadow is the in thing now, and don’t forget that green! And then also might need new lipstick colors.

And the list goes on….

Luh ker gua yang gila?

When you are all by yourself, not reading a book, not watching tv and your husband is asleep (for those who are married lah), have you ever laid in bed and thought about yourself? Not the ah beng that pushed you on the bus, not that stupid female naggy boss or that blogger who was talking about nothing but her holiday in the carribean...but yourself?

What comes into your mind about yourself? Do you love yourself today? Is it cos you completed that project timely and then have enough time to blog? Or that you might have made a change to someone's life or just simply that you have felt the satisfaction of being a mom? Have you ever hated yourself on that day? Did you say something stupid to someone who are not talking to you now? Or did you have a fight with your other half over something so silly?

Overall...on most days, do you love yourself more than the other way round? If you do why?

Or do you really hate yourself now and are in desperate need to change youself for the better?

Sorry, I know that I have been asking a lot of questions. This is how I sound when I am thinking aloud.

Call me selfish, but I love thinking about myself. On how I feel about myself lately and how I could make myself better if I hated myself on that day.

Many a days, I always come home feeling nothing but mentally tired. If I get overly stressed about work on that day, I would work the cr*p out of myself on that stepper or go for 15 minutes walks on breaks. If I feel satisfied with work, I would still feel tired...but in a better mood when I see the family. But please, these moods DO NOT include PMS!

I remember a friend who hated herself so much a few years ago that she shaved her head bald! I thought she was kidding until she showed me her 'gondol' picture. Kesian budak tuh, but her hair has grown (after a few years) and even has the length to do 'rebonding' hehehe...if you are reading this my friend, jangan marah! But she did tell me that she felt so much better after the 'botak' ing incident.

One therapeutic way of destressing (besides retail therapy) , are my cats. They purr when they ask for attention, they give me body massages when they purr to show love to their mommy. How nice eh?

Did you know that I just adopted a Siamese Fighting Fish since December to keep me sane in the office? I have not named him yet...maybe Kenny (like in South Park...'Who killed Kenny!') or maybe Samdol...I don't know, but he sure has given me the 'hope' of staying sane while at work. I am not going to buy that Zen thingy that you can put on your desk, raking the sand and putting shells into the miniature pail and imagine that you're at the beach and then voila! you will feel better....cos my co worker has it. All I need to do is to just to to her office, and start picking shells and rake the sand on her desk!

Any therapeutic ideas on how to stay sane?

The 'take a breather' entry...

Work has not been that kind to me lately. Well...I am glad that my boss is back from his military duty in the gulf….but I was not glad when he decided to swap offices with another lady assistant manager and me, stuck here on the 2nd floor.

Work has not changed a bit here. I still handle his projects, coordinate his calendar and his other nitty gritty stuff. Its just harder assisting him when we're geographically on different floors. The stupid intercom keeps beeping more now. The msn messenger (we use that for the office) keeps dinging with messages from him and my inbox is getting more of his emails…drives me nuts cos now I even have to leave him voicemails to keep in touch with him apart from having to run to the 1st floor almost every 2 hours.

Since the boss was away for 4 months, it was catch up time for him…and me…ripple effect. On Monday, my workload was virtually drowning me beyond believe, on Tuesday, the workload did not subside but the tide seemed to get higher. Wednesday, the boss had to scope office space for the move and phew…4 hours of him being away from the office helped me cut my workload in half.

And then back to the 2nd floor, the 2 lady assistant managers…both in their 50s. One has a major power trip and the other, major tensed up attitude. I hear them bicker over little issues like where to bring the sales reps for lunch, which restaurant and where to put that stupid cabinets. As we all know, ladies want their say in anything, which I totally back off from all these bickerings.

One even went beyond her call of duty by asking me every minute on what I was doing. But Ely fixed that pretty quickly (don’t ask me what I did cos this entry would not end).

Anyway, right now, I am just taking some deep breaths by writing this. The sun is shining…good time for a good walk during lunch!

Those in the US, happy long Martin Luther King weekend!

Sleepovers...

Last weekend was our turn to host Masturah's sleepover night since she has been going to her friends' houses for Saturday night sleepovers. Managed to 'move' the son to his friend's house so that the girls could have more space without the 'male invasion'.

Little did I know that girls can be such picky eaters. No one protested when we ordered pizza, I mean, which kid does not like pizza? Then came dessert time…the husband suggested that we go out (in the cold) and get dessert with the girls. 3 girls, 2 wanted Krispie Kreme, 1 wanted Starbucks (cant resist that blended crème). After much loud giggly arguments, majority wins…donuts at 9pm.

By the time it was 10pm, 'the parents' (that’s us) were dead beat. The girls must have had the sugar rush from them donuts, still giggly, screaming and talking in the other room. I told them,'We're going to bed now. Do whatever you want, just don’t burn the house down and STAY QUIET!'. They did pretty well as I fell asleep right through the night and did not hear the kids blowing up their beds at 12:30 in the morning!

Then came breakfast…2 wanted pancakes, 1 doesn’t like pancakes. So scrambled eggs and a lil bit of meat for the picky eater and pancakes for the rest.

It was overall a very pleasant weekend with the girls, first time having the more than 1 of the kids' friends staying over. I am sure that when we move, the kids will be at our place more often that I can imagine!

The year Two Thousand and Six...

'Happy New Year & Welcome Back…it is a start of the new year. Thank you for the successful 2005. Our region has reached its goal and I am looking forward to 2006. More new good things will happen as we go along. New products, new offices in San Francisco and Redwood City and new training programs for our sales section.'…so says our Regional Director.

There will be so much changes in 2006. Work wise, our big office will split into 5 different offices in San Francisco. Major changes will happen. Personal wise, maybe more than we expect. We're still looking for that house to upgrade into. Maybe some new edition to the family after that? I don’t know…time surely is running out.

Not much of resolution here for me. Maybe lose that 13 more lbs that I am still working on (good God! The holidays have been the biggest killer), make more $$ and save more, lower that outstanding credit and be a better mom and wife.

The kids are teenagers now and I feel that this year will be a year full of surprises, especially when the son goes to high school in September and the daughter in middle school. More changes in their social life…or my co worker says, they have a 'social calendar' now.

Somehow or rather, I can sense that the husband and I have earned our 'dating time' back since the kids have sleepovers almost every weekend nights. What is dating to us? Hmmm, let me think hard….

So far, we have gone to rock concerts. We also go to dinner and sometimes just dinner at home, just the 2 of us…and the cats. No wailings of 'Ibu..' every now and then or words like 'be quiet you!' or 'I'll tell on you…IBU!!!'.

The kids have grown into little friends to me. A personal confidante to the girl and a 'supervisor' (as he calls me) to the boy. They still love me being around them and fooling around with them as much as I love their presence.

I am so not looking forward to them being young adults and then move away to college.

Oh, and not forgetting the jewish wedding in 4 weeks! The sister in law is getting married and we're still busy preparing for the trip. As we all know, visiting in laws is not like going on vacation (you can look ratty when you're on vacation but not when you meet in laws!). But I sure am going to enjoy this trip and the wedding of the year!

Perempuan melayu terakhir...

'Will the last malay lady please bring the malay flag!!!', that was what my husband said when I told him that a childhood friend got married yesterday, to a British dude.

You see, when I married my husband, I was not the first one to be married to a foreigner. I had 4 other immediate cousins who were 'speculated' closely by my relatives for marrying americans/british or someone from a faraway continent. And the practice didn't stop there, one cousin after another were migrating to either the US, Australia or the UK to be with their husbands.

Since I married the husband 4 years back, my mom has been this 'confidante' about how to handle emotions when their daughters were to go away. What if their daughters marriages don't work... and other 'what ifs' yang sewaktu dengannya. I am happy that my mom shares her experiences with her friends and relatives and gives advises to those who were as nervous as her when their daughters say that they wanted to marry a non malay.

One of the theory that she came up (and told me too) was that malay young ladies are now more educated, they have higher demands and are more independent. Internet has made anything possible and love can blossom from the internet, just be prepared if your young lady is at that legal age of marriage and all of a sudden you daughter is ready to move away. Never expect that to come out of my mom eh? And get this, my mom surely did not behave that way when I was the one doing it years back!

So anyway, back to the first paragraph, my husband says that foreigners like him has 'saturated' the malays and he is one of the guilty ones!

You say Po-tey-to, I say Po-tah-to

Being married to a person who has a totally different culture does not mean a bed of roses all the time. People think that being away from home, having someone to care for me and the kids and having a new life is like a life of a dream come true. Sometimes its not…

The culture. Being the 'orang melayu' who doesn’t have the foggest idea about what 'social grace' american version is all about, tend to sound so square and ignorant. Not being permitted to even step into a bar and clubs or even an all night concert when I was young also did not make me feel as if I was missing something when growing up. I think I have gained strong family relationships with my family, and that my parents at that time were my loyal companions. Yup, my curfew was 5pm on weekends.

When I moved here, the word 'clubs' and 'bars' and 'going out drinking and dancing' sounded pretty offensive to me. I mean, I was not brought up with all those. But I learned, as I get exposed with co workers who love to party. I learned to mingle and get to know the concept of 'having pure fun'. The visit to the bar was like an 'every 2 months' or celebration venue for birthdays, going aways or just pure innocent de stress. Yes, I have great fun when I go there. Being there for just an hour is always enough for me, when the husband would be waiting outside the bar an hour later (please, you might think that I would be too drunk to be going home by myself? Diet coke for me only please). I feel that I really do not have to drink to have fun…but sure is fun watching co workers get tipsy after a few drinks hehehe.

Another is…being 'clingy' to my husband. Yes, I am clingy to my husband. When I moved here, I could not be left alone by myself (the kids were still back in Singapore then). I would demand to be taken everywhere the husband would go. I am still not use to not having the husband next to me at bedtime and not having him around me when I am back from work. Sometimes I would get pretty irrationally moody when he has a task to do, like watching a musician friend perform at a local club or down in LA or even taking pictures of musician friends who are doing recording in the evening. But I am still not as bad as before, sometimes I would appreciate him not being around for a couple of hours in the evening :)

Emotional grief. Would that make you nervous? Back home, it is 'taboo' to show your emotions to others. You're to be seen and not heard. Keep feelings to yourself and deal with it yourself..but not here. People here tend to tell you when they don’t like you, swear at you when they hate you or even shove you away when they don’t want to see you. Rudeness? To asians, yes, way beyond rudeness, that’s what I call sometimes macam orang hutan, tak pandai mengawal emosi (cakap melayu supaya tak kena pelangkung dengan sang suami, but I didn’t mean him, you know what I mean). It can be a rather common scenario to find that some asians who don’t know how to speak up tend to get 'trampled on' by others. Lets exclude the 'nyonyas' who physically trample on others in the market Jadikan, sesungguhnya kita orang melayu sungguh berbudaya, bercakap halus dan kekadang sensitif. Samada kita suka atau tidak, kita harus memberanikan diri kita untuk 'put your foot down and tell them that we're normal beings like them'. Did you also ever hear that asian wives tend to look nice, gentle, docile and charming in public but can be such terrors in the house? The asian wives kalau dah naik loktang, that we're worst than the demon? Hehehehe…enough said about that.

In a nutshell : Beng married to someone who is totally different from my culture takes 200% effort to make a marriage work. Macam barangan 'made in China' versus 'made in America'…one is tougher than the other, one is totally different from the other. I love my 'made in America' husband and will always do :)

If I were to factorize every element here, this entry will be a 10 paged one. Lets stop here and let me think of more to share. Readers, do not hesitate to share if you have any in your mind!

Back for now...

I am still running around like a headless chicken. Visitors came and went, same goes with Christmas and the long weekend is almost over. I am having my pre-menstrual tension and seems like I am gong to bite someone's head for no apparent reason at all.

The sister in law's wedding is only 5 weeks from now. The daughter and I had to brave the post Christmas crowd this morning at 7am to get her a nice black outfit for the wedding. Now, we have the shoes to look for.

My kebaya that mak brought for me from Singapore does not fit anymore. The black dress that I wore to a friend's wedding 2 years back does not fit me either. So I will have to hit the stores to get an outfit for the wedding.

We managed to go for a long drive yesterday with Lilac and family to Bear Valley...GREAT FUN!!!

Busy busy busy

I know, I have been quiet lately. And I shall be quiet for the rest of the week due to these issues :

- There will be visitors all week this week. A friend from Singapore is coming on business and we're playing host. Another visitor will be coming on Thursday. Its my gf (founder of rantauan.com) from LA and here to spend time with us till Christmas Day.

- Due to the previous point, the cleaning brigade is hard at work. I will be on vacation on Wednesday, so that I could :

- Clean the house. Steam the carpet, clean my room, the kids room and the laundry house.

- Make some curry puffs for the holidays and bring to the office the next day.

- When the visitors come, we will be busy 'mencekik' at our favorite restaurants, and bringing them sightseeing. Thank goodness a Christmas party was cancelled and brought forward to New Years Party.

- I barely have time to breath…barely! Even at work!

- I miss Ayu already, I feel like crying. We had a great great dinner at her place….had so much fun! Now that shes not here, the phone will be so quiet. But she will get her car back from our house, with a trunkload of stuff, hehehe.

I will miss you as much as you will miss me (hehehe). Take care and have a great holiday!

UPDATE : Tuesday, 12/20/05

Busy day at work. Had a 7:30am meeting and our boss started his day here after being on military duty for 4 mths! I am soooooooooooo glad that he's back, I was in tears when I saw him!

Got a $200 holiday gift certificate. Applied for amazon.com and got myself an iPod Nano!!! Thanks to Gerald, for suggesting that I get the nano instead of the shuffle. So this will be my 2nd mp3 player. The first one is my 30gb Creative Zen mp3 player.

The first visitor is here. His name is Joseph, here for only 2 days on business. He's taking the 'David Tour' right now, in the midst of the rain and dinner tonight at our fave restaurant.

Its pouring outside! So can't go shopping. :(


2nd Update, Thursday night 12/22/05
Got back from work. Did my 400 calories burned stepper exercise. 2nd visitor has come! Issy brought loads of indonesian food, nasi bungkus, nasi urap and all. So what if i am on diet? Mencekik terus mencekik!

Fondue business...

The husband received a phone call from our singaporean friend, Winston. I know, this is follow up from the voicemail Mardiana left me. Sorry Mardi, your kak Ely nih asik terlupa jer nak call back!

So…Winston said that its going to be a Fondue dinner party. OK…(see Ely's eyes looking up the ceiling with a huge ? On her forehead) fondue…sounds like 'fun do'! I heard about this fondue business thingy but made the husband ask Winston, what EXACTLY will we expect from at this dinner? So the husband, very well trained darling here, asked him if its high carb (that’s my ultimate question!).

According to Winston and the internet, fondue is... cooking your food while eating with cheese or chocolate dipping. Like steamboat lah…instead of soup in the pot, its melted choc or cheese and the pot is smaller. OK…(Ely getting nervous) food dipped in chocolate and cheese. The cheese I can accept but the chocolate? I love them chocs but sugar? Ini sudah melanggar undang2 South Beach Diet! But that’s OK, I know a party would not be complete without Ely and the husband. I am still going there and will mencekik. But I might also bring salad and some healthy stuff….jangan marah Mardi :). I guess 35 to 45 minutes on the stepper after the fondue affair on Saturday night eh?

Besides fondue party, I have also heard of 'Lingerie party' and other parties. As you know America, create as you go!

Have any of you gone to any 'never heard of this kinda' party before?

*Cakap pasal fondue, teringat steamboat. Maybe I should invite friends for steamboat party eh?*

Being a lefty...

Whats wrong with being left handed? When I was back home, being left handed was not a common thing. Firstly, according to our culture, using your left hand is not a good thing unless you're 'cleaning' yourself. You're not allowed to give and take with your left hand, not allowed ot eat with your left hand, or so the elders say 'tangan syaitan'. Yes, I do get insulted when my husband takes things from me with the left hand.

I still can do things with my right hand. I use the computer mouse with my right hand, like normal people and I use a pair of scissors with my right hand too. If anyone is curious, I do eat rice with my right hand but left with cutlery.

I remember when I was little, my parents would swat my left hand when I was eating a bar of chocolate with the left hand. They would say, 'tangan mana?'…ooops! And when I was in school, the cikgu would say,'Suraya (she didn’t like calling me Ely, she said it was 'unmalay'), kenapa awak tak tulis dengan tangan kanan awak?' Eh eh cikgu nih, as if I could just automatically switch my right hand ability to write?

Until I moved here, that’s when I saw that being left handed is common after all. Just the management section alone, there are 4 left handers out of 7. Down the sales floor, a bunch more. I mean, I have never seen that many left handers in my entire life before and it sure felt good to be normal! You know, sometimes we do high fives when we meet fellow left handers.

In a forum group that I am in, there was a posting asking if it was normal having a kid who is left handed. Are there any impairments or would the kids be inconvenienced when he/she grows up? Heck no, its totally normal to be left handed

I have heard good things about being left handed. That we're more artistic, sharper in thoughts cos we think with our right brain? I don’t know how true those are (maybe all of the above?) but I sure love being left handed.

Buy, buy,buy...

"5 blouses, 3 pants…that’s not enough. Just bought 2 new pairs of boots online. The iPod is on sale, should I get a 2nd MP3 player?"….yup that was me talking to myself.

Last week had been such a bad bad bad bad week for me. I spent quite a bit of money on just about anything. New clothes, new pairs of boots….cos they're all on sale! I know, I know, I always say that sale goers are all suckers, so I am…I am one sale sucker! Our company had a travel fair, all at 50% off, and guess what I got? A backpack for myself, a leather purse, a pair of gloves to match with my scarf, a journal book, an unbrella…did I miss anything?

I know…I am getting bad. Its not that I do this all the time. But xmas sales here can make a person go nuts!

Now my only mission is looking for an iPod shuffle for myself. I just wanted a small mp3 player as oppose to the 30GB Creative Nomad that I already have. But iPods have been sold out everywhere except online, you see, I don’t want to shop online, I want to go to the store, touch it, pay for it and leave!

Well anyway, enough said, my co worker and I are going to the city at lunch to check out the new store H&M…ayu, will let you know if I get anything ok.

In the meantime, here's a happy picture of me at Jen's place last weekend. Happy giler kan?

Holidays...

The holiday season has come again. That’s when after Thanksgiving, where the stores go on sale and everyone scrambling to get christmas gifts at the best prices.

Now that Christmas is about 2 weeks away, Christmas parties are everywhere. The kids have their own party and sleepovers, the parents (that’s me and the husband lah) have our own housewarming/Christmas party/parties.

Hmm, it gets pretty hard when the party for the parents are so far away (like Sacramento, 3 hrs drive each way) and we have to drop the kids to their respective parties and pick them up if they decide that they do not want to sleepover. This problem is more for my daughter, whos gfs' places are 10 minutes drive away but 50 minutes to take a bus.

And then she wanted to get gifts for her gfs. OK ibu suggested homogenic gifts for her 2 gfs, nope, she wants unique gift for each of her friend. Aiyoh, you see, my daughter nih kan, takes a long time when she does shopping. If she does shopping for herself, it can take 30 minutes just to select one pair of earrings. Imagine how long it will take to get for 2-3 friends??? Ibu slapped her forehead when Mas said that she was going to get a unique gift for each friend.

The son, he's always the 'I don’t know, I don’t care' person. No sound from him except for whinings in the morning telling paps (the husband) that his eye was twitching, that his leg hurts, that he thought he had a fever, etc etc. We received a letter from the School District last weekend, inviting us for open houses of 4 different High Schools in the area. The husband read it and said,'Nah, Mat won't go to High School till 2 years later'. Errr, hello? Mat is going to High School next fall (next September)!!! Hah…how time flies when we're having fun. The son is going to 9th grade (Secondary 3) next year and we still thought that he is not there yet. He has been getting awesome grades this year…with 3.675 GPA, so a better school will be the one for him.

As the year is drawing to an end, I feel that this year had been a trying year for us. Our family life had been 'frozen' due to the husband's injury. So we had to put our moving project on hold. Hence, the thought of having an addition to the family will be on hold too (need more space mah!).

Now that the husband is 70% recovering from his operation, has his career path all set up for him, the search for a bigger house will be on its way pretty soon…maybe sooner than we might expect. Addition? AFTER the move…which I don’t know when..so just watch out for it ok!

My mind, my soul, my energy...

Sometimes I feel that the world can be unkind to me. A positive person that I am, I can also have the feeling of being down, of being so drained out by problems, which are not mine.

Please do not get me wrong, I live for myself, my family and for others, especially my friends who trust me. But when my job involves solving problems, management problems, I sometimes get pretty mangled by this.

My typical day…lets say a Monday…no...there is no typical day actually but here I go.

Come to the office. If I was off on Friday, my emails would have at least 50 unread messages (all time sensitive), and then there are messages on my desk from either my peers or the management for immediate attention. If there are network problems then that’s another task for me to take on apart from the projects with tight deadlines. Did I mention personnel problems too? Now this is like a one day solving task for me if it involves me being the management side and a co worker who might get 'nailed' over what she did. When the boss leaves the office at 5pm, I could just count to 20 and he would call me on the phone and starts bantering over the day's happenings. And here I am again, listening to the boss and saying 'I know how you feel.' etc etc. I love my job, I don’t huff and puff but it could drain my energy out of my system pretty bad that come 5:30pm, all I want to do is just go home.

When I get home, it’s a flip of the coin again. Ely's still so dazed from thinking all day but when we get home, the kids will have their problems as well. Mas will have her 'friend'/'crush' or even physical (like PMS) problems and Mat will have no problem (most times, thank God!) except for picking on his sister and making her scream! The husband will have his recap for the day or when we need to punish one of the kids, we have to sit down and discuss what would be the ideal punishment. Yes, we argue over making decisions, sometimes we end up not talking to each other because of that (ibu the life saviour, paps the punisher and vice versa).

And then we have online problems. Getting emails from my sister at times pouring her feelings, and my beautiful friends who pour as well. I know that I don’t or sometimes can't solve problems. But I always make a point to be available when they need me. It makes me feel good knowing that my friends have been heard and that they feel better after a nice online discussion. My friends have been wonderful to me especially when I am down or angry or feeling stupid.

And all this everyday work that I am doing, is more on problem dealings. I learned one thing though, that friendship and family ties work both ways. I give, I take, I support. Maybe I should repeat again, SUPPORT...my family and friends most times when they need me. And I am not afraid to share my views should I see anything which I do not feel comfortable with and not afraid to share my views in a positive manner. I will never bring my friends and family down should I not like what they do, or I would never call myself a good friend. Good relationship does not see the distance between friendships and ties. Good relationship is understanding and respect to each other, regardless of age. Regardless of whether you are a mom to a child so far away, a big brother to a sister so far away or a daughter to your parents.

Forgive me for bantering, I think today, I need time to myself to recover my energy from all these. I wish that I could go to a warm sandy beach and be by myself.

I am sorry to my husband for running out of energy at Mas' flute recitation. I sometimes just zone out when I am out of the office, not having enough energy to 'reroute' my mind back to the family. I am sorry to some of my friends for not being able to have long conversations when you were busy pouring your hearts out. There is nothing wrong with me, nothing at all. InsyaAllah, I shall regain my energy and pass on my positive vibes to my dear friends soonest possible.

One more thing from me :
To those who live away from home and might not have known this already, please remember that although we are far away from home, that our job as a brother, sister, daughter, wife or even friend still stays. We never know when we're going to see our family again to feel their love in person. But remember that family is a treasure in your life, in your heart. Love your family, every moment you can. Nurture them and respect them anyway you can. At least when we leave this earth one day, we know that we have not done anything to hurt our family, leaving traces of resentment for you.

*Ely can't even hold her head up to work today. Ely's reaching for her coffee and drinking it, hoping that she gets her energy back. Hey wait…someone's singing a christmas song and dancing, trying to make her smile. Ely smiles and she feels better already*