I love you, I don't...

Note : This is a spouse bashing posting, the author shall not be responsible for any anger or arguments between spouses after reading this post! To the spouse of the author, if you have something to express, again, please submit that in writing.

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Have you ever felt that your spouse can be your worst enemy at certain times? For 4 years that we have been married, I still have not gotten use to the idea that the husband is a back seat driver. *Am I hearing 'ooohs' and 'ahhhs' here?*

I always feel that our marriage would go much smoother if I let the husband drive…just because, theory advised for the wives to let the husbands drive (let them feel the 'power'). I obtained my driver's license close to 3 years ago. Of course, compared to a person who has driven for more than 20 years, 3 years is like a piece of chewing gum stuck to the ground (means nothing lah). But I have gone through 3 years with no accidents (a mere one) and no speeding points.

But mind you, I PAID someone else to teach me how to drive as I gave up on taking driving lessons from the husband. After much barking at each other…one day, I was sooooooo tired of him giving me orders that I stopped the car, put it in 'park' and told him 'You drive then! I give up!'. Does this sound familiar to anyone here?

Here's how a 5 minutes….listen…5 minutes of me driving with the husband sitting next to me sounds like:

A car created a lane and swerved in front of me…I could care less…I don’t believe in tailgating so I don’t wanna stress over whoever cuts me off.

Husband : 'What the heck is he doing?'

Me : 'Let him be, I am not in a hurry.'

When changing lanes.

Husband : 'Well, what are you waiting for? Just GO!!!!!!!'

Ely stuttering, thinking 'eh…how all of a sudden I can't drive'…dalam hati nak jugak keluar kan buku lima kat suami tuh.

Me : 'Well you're making me nervous. Would you please be quiet so that I could drive PROPERLY?'

The conversation did not end there. I went to work fuming with anger and the husband thinking that he was just 'helping'.

I do not understand why some spouses just could not get use to the idea that we are humans too. That we are not 18 year old teenagers who are just learning to drive. According to the insurance theory, new women drivers aged 30 and above are not rated as high as new men drivers of the same age. This is due to lesser loss rates. In a nutshell, women in their 30's ARE NOT high risk drivers!

The husband still thinks that he was 'helping' me. To me, that was the most obnoxious behaviour!

I know, I know, the husband will come back starting the comment with 'you are just reading one side of the story'.

Readers, please don’t get me wrong. I still love my husband with a passion, but sometimes….I just feel that I had a remote control to 'mute' him while I am driving!

So really…am I the only one experiencing this? Don’t you also have a spouse who would pick on just a certain nitty gritty stuff to so call prove a point?

*Imagine Ely bedekak2 cakap dengan matanya yang terbeliak*

Got Blog?

Sesungguhnya memang alam blog nih sungguh menagihkan. Since Sentraal Station was born and expanded day by day, I spend the first hour in my office just going through my favorite links in my blog and then jump to Sentraal Station for more 'kick'. So addicting that I go to Sentraal Station almost every hour (if I am not busy at work lah) to read more and more! Sungguh….sungguh menjadi satu problema untuk diriku! But I am not complaining!

Talk about blog world, I also notice phases of trends in the blog world. First came the Banner phase, our taukey banner and tukang pasang sungguh giat dengan business membuat dan memasang banner nih. Then came the song players phase (sorry my twin for making you get kicked out of tripod!). Everyone is scrambling to have their favorite songs on their blogs. Some would start when their blogs are uploaded, and the ones in the office would have to quickly turn off the speakers. Then came the Meme phase, everyone tagging each other like main kejar2. Oh and don’t forget them recipe blogs, growing like mushrooms (my best part, the recipe blogs). The spammers then started to attack the blogspace. So we all were setting up word verification before we could post anything on mose blogs. Errr, 'vgymklf' it can surely be very testing especially when the 'words' are longer and gets more cuvry! I wonder whats the next phase…

For those who have not been blogging, what are you waiting for? And for those who have been blogging, teruskan teruskan teruskan!

Melayu oh melayu...

Terbaca blog Kak Halela…berblog dalam bahasa melayu. Boleh tahan jugak idea tuh. Tapi nih nak kena duk fikir, nak cakap pasal aper eh...

Dah seminggu berpuasa. Disebabkan jangkitan 'angin wanita' hari nih hari kedua lah saya berpuasa (dapat juga hari pertama ramadan). Dah nak kena mula 'momentum' berpuasa lagi. Hai… terasa sejuk sungguh hari nih. Bangun pagi berkabus sungguh di atas bukit nih. Berkabus sehingga ia menjadi embun (betul ker aku ckp nih). Waktu itu juga kalau nak pergi kerja, mesti nak panaskan kereta dan 'defrost' selama 10 minit supaya kereta tuh tidaklah diselubingi wap.

Ramadan tahun ini terasa sunyi sepi. Tak lah macam tahun lepas, balik Singapura waktu Raya. Tahun ini duk lah kat sini, kerana kalau nak balik kampung, budak2 kena ambil cuti sekolah selama 2 minggu atau lebih dan kerja sekolah semua bertimbun sebelum bercuti. Jadi, kami akan balik kampung tahun hadapan pada musim panas saja lah.

Iftar di rumah juga ringkas saja. Memandangkan suami bekerja di rumah (bukan suri rumah tau!), dialah yang tolong memasak, pergi pasar, bangun sahur dan kejut budak2. Rasa bersalah juga kalau suami masak berbuka dan saya duduk depan laptop sibuk menaip (hahaha). Saya pun berkata kepada suami 'Terima kasihlah kerana memasak tiap2 hari, kalau tak kerana abang (abang seh!) memang lah tunggang terbalik saya jadinya'. Dia pun berkata 'Ely, dah lah, abang (abang lagi!) kan suka memasak, jadi tak aperlah. Memanglah saya tak boleh masak sehandal awak. Lauk kari dan beryani tak lah jadi tapi kalau salad, soup dan ayam panggang ok lah. Kita kan sama2'. Hati isteri mana tak sejuk dengar camtuh? Hehehehe

Semalam, Ayu, Mardiana dan kawan2 datang untuk bebuka puasa di rumah kami. Sebenarnya jemputan itu untuk seorang saja, sekali TERjadi 3 lagi orang. Kepada sesiapa yang belum sempat kami jemput tuh, tolong jangan berkecil hati kerana semalam terjadi secara kebetulan. InsyaAllah, kami akan jemput berbuka puasa di rumah kami pada hujung minggu yang akan datang.

Suami juga telah menetapkan tarikh dia akan dioperasi ke atas bahu kiri nya. Ia akan jatuh hari kedua Hari Raya. Jadi jemputan untuk Hari Raya (adalah berangan nak masak lontong dan rendang untuk kekawan di sini dan jemput mereka) terpaksa samada ditunda atau dibatalkan. Hai…nasiblah tinggal di rantauan.

Oklah, rasa penat juga menaip dalam bahasa melayu nih. Bukan ku benci bahasa ibunda ku, tetapi aku memang rasa bersalah kerana 'terlupa' berbahasa melayu. Am I making sense?

To my husband, if you need this blog to be interpreted in english or hebrew, please submit this in writing, but I might make you learn malay from me and then charge you some money!

The Sister...

Tiap tiap kali time ramadan siap lah I get so sentimental, missing my family back home and all. Dah lah gatal cari sendiri, nak tinggal jauh2, sekarang yang merana kita lah kan.

Time nih jugak lah I teringatkan my one and only sister back home…Ms Tety G. So here's something for you to read :

My one and only sister in this world.
The one closest to me since I was born
I remember the time when we used to fight a lot,
Pulling each others hair and kicking each others shins
Threatening to tell on each other when the parents came back

When we were single, we became best friends
And we never stop loving each others company
Life was so much fun
Shopping eating and frolicking together

We went through motherhood together
Supported each other fro strength and support
Your kids are like mine and mine like yours
Until I moved away…

It was so sullen when I moved
We miss each other's company
The good times we had, the bad times we had
The never ending laughter and how much time we had spent together

I have missed you since the day I moved away from home
I have always told everyone that my best friend is my sister…its you
My one and only sister and no other

Sorry that I can't be home for Lebaran this year
But you are always on my mind…never fading
Thank you for being my friend, my best friend
Til we meet again…just a few months more…a few months more

I love you sister and always will

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Coming soon : Tomorrow...Ely will blog in Malay...watch out for it!

AuntyN's blog triggered me to blog about this…my perspective of a marriage, a failed marriage, a happy marriage. And my perspective of women in a marriage, our rights, our 'wrongs'.

Having survived a nasty divorce some 5 and a half years back, it had taught me a lot in life. It had made me realize that I am not helpless, that the failure was not my fault (which contributed to the divorce, but the fact still stays that I was stupid then!). That my kids come FIRST in any situation.

Marriage is a gamble, as many of us know. I envy those who had been married for many years and still loving each other, like my parents. They love and 'hate' each other at the same time, which is so adorable to my eyes.

I watched Dr Phil last night (here I go again, tak habis2 Dr Phil!). It was entitled 'WifeStyle'…a husband who wants his wife to dress this way, cook this way and talk this way, while staying at home and caring for their 3 tiny kids. Dr Phil says,'Now, you said that you wanted your wife to wear thigh high boots when you're around, cook 'A' grade food and that she is only 75% of your standard? Tell me, who are you to judge her like that? How many % have you contributed to the marriage to help her cook, clean and care for the kids?'. I guess I do not have to elaborate more on this, as we all should know what the answer would be…helping each other. A marriage is not run by just a husband or just a wife kan?

Last week on Dr Phil, was also another topic on wives being abused and controlled by their husbands. My question is, how could that happen? The answers are always in the wives, for enduring such suffering and pain and hurt which they do not deserve at all. Some wives have been married for so long and they do not walk away because of their kids and I truly respect women who are like that, for the sake of their kids and again I pray that they will literally survive the abuse.

I am not pro divorce but I am pro active. I don’t like to play victim in a situation that takes two to play. Maybe I am strong, maybe I know what I am doing but most women don’t and are not as strong as I am…and I don’t blame them at all.

I have helped a best friend go through a divorce. Took her 6 months to decide (I did not suggest her of any decision). I was there to be her backbone, to coax her, care for her son, give her my shoulder for her to cry on and try to heal her hurt. That’s as much as I can do as a friend. Her decision to be divorced or her monetary tussle with the ex husband was not for me to decide for her, but she could always count on me for support and love.

My point in this is, we are human beings with equal ability. As long as we know our rights as a muslim wife (please do not forget that), do not be afraid to stand up for your rights and do not be afraid to save yourself from any situation. Hak kita sebagai seorang isteri.

To AuntyN's sister, my doa's and my heart to you. At least if you decided to 'walk away', you knew that you did it for yourself, knowing still that your son comes first. Stay strong and positive, as the road could be longer that you might think. Only Allah will show you the path and give you the ultimate strength that you will need in times of need.

Each time when I hear the word 'divorce', it still shudders me. I surely do not want my friends to experience what I went through but if it ever happens to a friend, I will always be here to support. Lots of support!

Please share with me your thoughts in this...your thoughts about marriage, about being the wife or simply about being a woman.

PS. My kids still feel the remnants of the divorce. Now that they're bigger, they sometimes say that they have the right to know what went wrong. My explanation? I say that I was too young and silly then…and that noone should ever control your life.

Fleet Week 2005

It was a reunion for the girlfriends…and the husbands! After so long (well, about a year) of not meeting, we made a last minute arrangement to meet my girlfriends, Alexsandra (first friend I ever made when I moved to San Francisco) and Jennefer (my asian ‘twin’ in San Francisco. We have the same common interest and we have the same shaped toesies!). Actually, the girlfriends are the husband’s former co workers, including, Jarrod, Jennefer’s husband. But now, the girlfriends, Jarrod and I work for the same company...the 3 of them work in the same office in Elk Grove (by Sacramento) and me in the city.

The last time we met was in Stockton (2.5hr drive from our place), at Alex’s house, in the middle of summer. We had Mexican food at her backyard, under a big tree, having too much fun.

Since the family was going to the Fleet Week 2005, we have decided to invite them to come to the city (sometimes you have to coax the people who live in the East bay to come to the city you know!).

Verdict of the Airshow : SPECTACULAR, PHENOMENAL!!!

After the Airshow, we hiked to Chutney for buka puasa and met up with Ayu. She was running late, so by the time she reached the restaurant, all she needed to do was sit down and eat hehehe.

OK, talk less, more pictures….

The Blue Angels...awesome!

Charlie's Angels (Me, Alex & Jen)

Tom Yam...yum yum!

Alhamdulillah, 3rd day puasa for the family. Kekadang memang terasa nikmat Ramadan nih.

One word for me…SABAR. Let it be at work, the kids or just about anything. Tak lah sabar sampai takder reaction, but instead of counting to 5 (yes I count to 5 jer), I start counting to 15. The kids tend to get too tired to argue when they come back from school. Balik rumah, buat homework, baca buku, dah tuh duduk jer or play rugby at the backyard till almost buka time.

The husband did the sweetest thing yesterday. Alah orang mengidam nak berbuka nih, I was craving for Tom Yam Soup. I made one huge pot of Tam Yam soup last Friday and yesterday I was craving for it again. The husband was acting so indifferent to me, when I mentioned Tom Yam jer, he said 'yeah I dunno what I'm gonna cook tonight, maybe chicken again'. Then I went home and saw the Tom Yam soup brewing!!!! Hehehehehe…..happy gila! Dapat juga buka tom yam soup. Thank you sweet husband…I really appreciate it! Muahs!

My migraine is still lurking, the 'best friend' has arrived but this stupid migraine wouldn’t depart. I am trying not to be too dependent on medication. But sometimes gotta do what you gotta do. The classical music is still blaring, I wish I could just stay in bed and get rid of this pressure on the right side of my brain.

In the meantime…it's Thursday here! One more day and comes the weekend!

SELAMAT BERPUASA SEMUA!

Today's our second day of puasa. There were some confusions in my family in determining the day to start puasa. Some websites indicated Tuesday, some Wednesday. Our arabic foster parents at the halal meat market said Tuesday and so did Ayu (she got the info from Indus Halal meat market).

First day of puasa went well with the kids. Mat did not complain about being tired after his daily 1 mile run at school. Masturah did not stop talking all day yesterday, an indication that she was not dehydrated and had tonnes of energy to spare. The husband said he lost another 2 lbs from the diet (he had lost 12 lbs so far) but I have not been feeling good so far.

The 'best friend' has not arrived and this headache just would not go away until the 'best friend' arrives. Now…I have changed my music taste. Since metal music will only aggravate my migraine, I changed to classical and opera classic songs. At least when I need to take my mind off of work, I would feel myself doing the 'tiptoes'.

Til then, selamat berpuasa!

***UPDATE***

The classical music did work! My headache seemed to have gone away. So now you would know what to do when you get those stubborn headaches!

Updated my Recipe Blog...Bubur Asyura.

PMS - 'Pissy' Mood Syndrom

I always have something to blog about on Mondays. About myself…whatelse!

I seldom fall sick but this time I think the weather transition has not been kind to me. The pollens have struck me again. Besides sneezing endlessly and experiencing slight fever, the PMS is still lingering, until the 'old friend' comes later this week.

So in the meantime, besides food cravings, I have turned into a meanie. First things first, I have to satisfy my cravings, so I have the Zero Carb Reese's Peanut Butter Cups loaded by my bedside table for 'one a day consumption' (gotta forego the apples for dessert this time). I also have the diet Pepsi and Coke in the fridge to keep me sane.

Back to me being a meanie…does it make sense to even say that I don’t even like myself? Seems like I am hating everything around me, I don’t like slow music, I only want metal, the harder the better. I don’t like to read, cos it will give me mild migraines, I don’t like talking, cos it will give me mild migraines and I don’t like to hear the kids bickering cos it will give me MAJOR migraines! Husband? He thought that I was just being mean to spite him but I had to explain to him that I don’t even like myself, so please help me like him (hehehehe…you know I still love you husband!). Yesterday, I bought myself a couple of 3lbs dumbells, husband gave me a warning that if those dumbells were to ever land on any part of his body (on one of those 'Ely naik loktang moments'), those dumbells will have to go!

So here I am, at work, on Monday morning, slumped at my desk with the metal music blasted, looking like some cranky B**CH, kinda unapproachable, kinda 'can't be bothered' with anything around me.

The sun is shining, that’s a consolation. I am wearing a dress, that’s a consolation too! I know that I will be like this for the next few days till the 'best friend' comes.

In the meantime, if I do not update this journal, it means that my husband must have locked me up in the 'dungeon' somewhere in the crawlspace of my house, until this PMS whatchamacallit is over!

Last but not least, to my twin, Intan Payung, seems like you're not feeling well likeme. At least know that we're thinking about each other :)

To my SF sister, Ayu, gurl, feel better soon OK my dear! You sounded so bad, and like I said, you need them Vitamins!

Sound of Music...

The Magic Christian

Friday
Maybe it was my PMS or I am just so burnt out from my stressful job that I requested to leave the office at 1:30pm so that I could rest at home…until the husband said that we had a concert to watch at the Beach Chalet tonight.

It was the 60’s garage rock band called the Magic Christian (not they’re so not religious) and some of the players were from other known bands in the 60’s (like Chocolate Watchband, The Tubes, etc). The night at the club was nice. We got there an hour early, sat at the bar and had some ‘sinless’ beverage and watched other groups playing. As soon as the Magic Christian started playing at 9:30, we were already sitting right up front and getting excited, the husband had his camera ready to get into action. I was just sitting there observing the crowd and the players (see how they sweat!). It was LOUD baby, LOUD…my ears rang for 24 hours!

Saturday
There was a music event at the Golden Gate Park all day Saturday and Sunday. Its called, ‘Strictly, Hardly, Bluegrass’. OK…I don’t like country music and kawasan yang sewaktu dengannya. The weather was foggy or ‘crappy’ like some SF’ans say. But it drew a large crowd into the park. There were 4 stages, different bands playing at the same time, so audience could hop from one stage to the other. But I have to admit, that I kinda like Joan Baez…she has a beautiful voice and we caught the most popular band of the day, The Knitters playing. The husband says that the event was called ‘Hardly, Strictly Bluegrass’ could be because some musicians were from rock and punk rock bands…who chose to still play...tamer music…by playing country music. Today, Dolly Parton’s suppose to sing at 5pm but no…#1, I don’t want to fight with the crowd, #2, she's not really my type (???).

It was also a good gathering with the husband’s uncle, Uncle Richard, his wife Dee and their daughter Sarah.

The Knitters

Uncle Richard & Dee

Masturah & Sarah

Sunday
Very uneventful…grocery shopping as usual and mentally getting ready for work tomorrow. Grim grim grim…

The addictions...

Addiction I

This is what I consider our wedding anniversary present….the Lampe Berger.

If not for my beloved Nazrah, I wouldn’t even know what it was. Sure, sounds french to me. So we bought a full set from eBay to find out if it is as amazing as how my twin had explained.

Here's my verdict after trying it out….WE LOVE IT! Something about how this deodorizer evaporates and permeates the air, it sure removes the pet and cooking odors. My cats, they find it so therapeutic, my kitten would sit on my bed and 'pass out' when the Lampe is burning! And when I move the Lampe to another room, she would quickly get up and be active again.

The half liter bottle of fragrant oil is almost gone, cos we have been burning it a lot yesterday (kemaruk lah katakan). And we're going to get the bigger bottle soon.

If you are not familiar with Lampe Berger, take a look at the website.

************** In the meantime***************

Addiction II

Yes I am having my PMS. The Low Carb Reese's Peanut Butter Cup was soooooooooooo good!!!!!!! Of course, the husband is in Phase one of the diet and did not want to hear me raving about the delicious choc.

Besides craving for them chocs, I have been having a 'taste' for heavy metal. I do love heavy metal but seldom listen to them at work. But not past few days and today, I have the Metal station turned on, turned up and ooooh, I feel the electric guitar consoling my temperamental moods. Ozzy, Metallica, ACDC, Overkill, Pearl Jam…and all the metals groups, they're my heros at this time!!! Rock Rock Rock Rock!!!!

I surpised some of my co workers when they came to use my computer or passed my work station…didn’t know that I am a metal fan…and they showed me the 3 finger metal symbol hahaha. Right on!

My 'high heeled' protected feet wouldn’t stop moving when I listen to the beat. Someone who walks into the office might think that I am having a spasm or something. Watch out…Ely might just start head-banging soon if the songs start getting better!

*While typing this*

Oh oh, I see the Assistant Manager pushing the cart around, with food in it. Yes, we're having Medical Insurance meetings in 4 sessions and she's serving gummy bears and candies…oh and she added some nuts and pistachios for me hehehe. Must love that little lady.

Weighty weighty, saggy saggy...

The boys in my office are having a 'weight challenge' beginning the 30th of this month. They are to reach their ideal BMI by end of the year. The highest BMI among the boys is 35. So this boy named David will have to lose that weight or lose $45. The girls in the office heard the challenge and would like to have their own. The highest BMI among the girls is 40. But I chose not to participate as #1, I am already on the diet and losing #2, I don’t want to have more pressure put on me when I am on a diet.

The husband is going through a shoulder surgery…due in 7 weeks or so and he has been advised by the Dr (and me) to lose that gut. So effective Monday, the husband has been on Phase 1 of the South Beach diet. As usual, like first day of Ramadan, the husband gets a little whiney and grumpy. He said, 'No wonder you guys get skinny on this diet…they starve you to death!'. Well hey, no starving here, just no carbs and no sugar.

Phase 2 of this diet convinced me that I do need them fruits and fiber to lose more. If I stayed on Phase 1, I would not have enough fiber to 'go to the bathroom'. I was caught by surprise when I weighed myself and am another 3 lbs lighter! So I have lost 14 lbs in total!

Today's his 3rd day of the diet. I could see his tummy getting soft (maybe the fluids are draining!). You see, I love seeing the changes…positive changes. I have lost them pounds and I ain't got the mucles…I am getting saggy. Since I can't afford the monthly fees of fitness clubs, I reminded the husband that we need to get dumbells to tone up.

Sags apart, I think now I am in trouble in the clothes department. Work clothes are still OK as they still look good. The jeans have become unwearable to me. When I tighten my belt, the waistline bunches up. When I don’t tighten, the hip hugger turns into a mid butt hugger! Some blouses that are meant to fit me nicely, now make me look stupid in them (that’s why I always prefer knitted top as they fit your body as you go!).

When the kids first found out that their paps was on this diet, they went 'Oh no…another one! Does this mean that we're all on the diet too?'. Of course not! We will still cook some carbs for them as they need the energy to burn during the day. But they can have free access to our sugarless desserts anytime they want!

So far, I have not missed any food yet. I don’t deprive myself totally from carbs. I would have a bite or 2 of that potato and those fries, come on…we all gotta live a good life right?

Today is another day
Don't know if it is going to be the same as yesterday
Or is it going to be better?
Wipe your tears and hold your chin up
Don't turn back, just keep walking
Everything will be fine Ely, everything will be fine...

And it is Monday again...

It is beautiful outside. According to the weather, it was suppose to rain! Instead of wearing a dress to work, I ended up wearing long pants, tennis shoes to ward off the wet weather and a leather jacket…grrr! Weathermen could not be trusted…or should I say I should not check the forecast before going to work! That’s OK, I'll save the dress for tomorrow, rain or shine!

Wish I had taken another day off today. I am so hungover from taking 800 mg of motrin last night to treat my headache. This morning I woke up feeling so groggy, feeling very sensitive to noises. Now…this sounds like PMS, yes, I should get the 'monthly friend' next weekend.

The craving has come…again. Chocolates! Cookies! Cakes! Sweets! But I am still on the diet. This morning, I went to Walgreens and got myself a bar of low carb candy bar (with double the price of a normal candy bar!!!) for the sudden cravings…have to prepare mah! What do you eat when you're craving?

*While typing the last paragraph...

Oh oh, I think someone broke the boss' clock. The director came to me and showed me my boss' (the one in the gulf right now!) broken clock and asked me what we should do. Erm, if I were his wife, I would get him another clock. But I suggested to wait for his return in December and let him decide on what to do.

I guess I'd better get back to work.

The 4 year reflection...

So we are back to the real world, after a day of being away from work and spending time with my husband of more than 4 years.

I have the habit of asking my kids, on their birthdays, what they have learned and experienced after 11 (or 12) years being in this world. But this time, at John's Restaurant, when the husband and I were having breakfast, I asked him the same question.

What have you learned and experienced, being married to me for 4 years?

He was single more than 4 years ago. No wife to nag him, no kids to call him every 5 minutes. Just his work, cats and tv (hehehehe sorry dear hubby). When he married me, he took on 3 people in his life...and a cat, the kids and me...and Bella my cat. After being married to me, his life was turned into the different directions. Be a husband, a dad and an owner to yet another cat! He said that the past 4 years has turned him to be unselfish, and that he lives for the kids and me. Amazingly, he is the 'parent point of contact' for the school and the kids' baseball, soccer and whatever teams that they're in as the husband is always available. I think the school teachers know him more than they know me!

As for me, OK OK, I kinda wept when I expressed to him that I have learned and experienced past 4 years being married to him. That whenever we had a fight and showed the worst point of me, he would say 'Well, you're my wife. The bad points make you, you!'...now I told him that I had never EVER heard that from anyone in my life before and I am always touched to the bottom of my heart for having a husband who accepts me for what I am. A person who never ever would change me. And another that I learned, that it is NOT OK to keep showing my bad points eventhough he says that hahahaha! One last thing, that I was given the chance by Allah, to love and be loved again, to restructure my life over again...properly this time.

We had dinner at our favorite Thai restaurant. We were holding hands and looking into each other's eyes when all of a sudden, a close co-worker of mine walked in on us accidentally with his wife and son (they're more like a family friend). We ended up at their house soon after. And that was how we spent our Anniversary dinner. Oh well, I was happy, and he was happy, thats all that matters.

Thank you Mardiana and Ayu, for calling and reporting to me about your masakan. You gals are such dolls!

Today is Saturday, family day. Great Mall, here we come!

ps. It is so wonderful being married and happy at the same time!

4 years ago...

Note : We were married in Singapore, so it is already the exact date if I post it now :)

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My husband...

Remember this song in my blog? This song was sent to me when we were separated after meeting for the first time. This song never stops making me cry like a baby. Tears of joy, tears of love.

It was 5 years ago when we met, something out of the blue. We stumbled upon each other online, something which was very impersonal, very uneventful and something which was ordinary. You thought that I was from Texas cos of my screen name (May Elly).

We didn’t like each other then, I was 'Lil Ms Perfect' and you were 'Mr Obnoxious'. There were times when we argued and didn’t chat for months just because we got tired of each others 'know it all' attitudes. But we were just chat buddies then, little did we know that 12 months later, we met, and fell in love. Something that was very very unexpected, especially with the kids in tow. Little did we know that we were so in love, that we decided that we couldn’t live without each other. So fast, so soon…and we were married in 3 months.

Our marriage is very unique, we always speak the same words at the same time almost everyday, we always agree on many things without having to argue too much, we are best friends, never separated. That's us, David and Ely, Ely and David, 2 bullish people :)

4 years...thank you for being such a wonderful stepfather to the kids. Thank you for being my closest friend ever, and thank you for always being there for me when I need you.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY DAVID

I love you, and always will. Now and forever...
September 23rd

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Maybe I'm Amazed

Baby I'm amazed at the way you love me all the time
And maybe I'm afraid of the way I love you
Maybe I'm amazed at the way you pulled me out of time
You hung me on the line
Maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you

Baby I'm a man, maybe I'm a lonely man
Who's in the middle of something
That he doesn't really understand
Baby I'm a man, and maybe you're the only woman
Who could ever help me
Baby won't you help me to understand?
Ooh

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh

Baby I'm a man, maybe I'm a lonely man
Who's in the middle of something
That he doesn't really understand
Baby I'm a man, and maybe you're the only woman
Who could ever help me
Baby won't you help me to understand?
Ooh

Maybe I'm amazed at the way you're with me all the time
Maybe I'm afraid of the way I leave you
Maybe I'm amazed at the way you help me sing my song
Right me when I'm wrong
Maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, hey, hey, hey
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, uh, uh, uh, yeah, yeah, yeah
Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, oh

Ayu & me...

It sure is nice to suddenly have another sister that I never had. Ayu flew into San Francisco on Friday night, close to midnight.

Saturday was a good 'delivery' and meeting session. We just sat down for lunch, indian food on our mouths and started talking about anything and everything. We didn’t have to plan or think of what to talk about, and didn’t have to keep prodding each other for conversation. We just went with the flow.

Let's skip Sunday as I've already blogged about it.

Currently, we're car hunting 'together'. Ayu does the initial selection and the husband will go with her to look at the car. It can be hard when 'this person' sleeps till 4pm, so we had to wake her up to start the day at 9am hehehehe. Jangan marah Ayu!

Hopefully, we should find her a car soon. She says that she might be too afraid to be driving in California. But I told her, I could drive the car for her and watch me turn into a monster when I drive hahaha. But I know that Ayu is a brave girl and since she has travelled this far to get her PHD (or Permanent Head Damage I call it), driving here will be a piece of cake!

I am happy that Ayu is here. She is one nice, polite and considerate lady. She also fills the emptiness of me missing my sister back home. And she is always welcome to hop by our house anytime she wants as my house is on her way to the campus. Rest assured, we will see each other more often than we might expect.

Phase II

This is my fourth week of the South Beach Diet. In Phase 1, I lost 10 lbs in two and a half weeks. So I thought to myself, maybe I should stick to Phase 1, but the one extra week of going into Phase 1 started to show the 'not so positive' effect on me and I don't seem to be losing as quickly as the last 2 weeks. Firstly, that’s when I started to get bored and craved for more variety of food (like carbs and fruits!) and I thought I'd better start on Phase II before I start cheating!

So I have started the Phase II today. Nice old style (not the instant one) oatmeal for breakfast. I still am taking cheese and celery for morning snack if I need to and maybe more salad and fruits for lunch.

I know that this phase will actually help to maintain the weight that I have lost and losing weight at a slower pace, like 1 lb a week which is OK, as long as I don’t gain the weight back. I guess this will be my lifestyle until I reach my weight goal (or if I will ever reach it!).

My verdict on this South Beach Diet, try it! This diet does not make you feel hungry or deprived (except for the 1st few days) and makes you think first before you eat anything, between bad carbs and good carbs, sugar or without sugar. Another thing also, of course its easier to work this diet when I am away from home cos I don’t think I would be able to resist the nasi lemak and nasi padang at the hawker stalls hahaha.

Ely's Not in...

To all my blog friends who will be waiting for me to turn up at the Kedai Kopi, just wanted to let you know that I shall be out of my Kedai Kopi today, returning your tomorrow morning or California time, Monday evening. Eh...macam automatic email 'out of office' reply eh?

We are going out in a bit to meet up with Lilac and family and again...Ayu!!! The dinner was initially to meet up with Lilac as we have not seen them in a long time and thought we would meet up before Ramadan (puasa lain cerita, another makan2 also)...we invited Ayu so that she could meet up with Lilac and family.

The meeting with Ayu yesterday was nice and simple. Had 8 boxes of hers delivered to her apartment and I brought her lunch, enough for 4! Alah sapa lagi nak manjakan Ayu kalau tak Ely kan? We talked for almost 3 hours...fun fun!

I have to put on my socks and shoes now...gotta go...LOVE YOU ALL!

ps..nazrah, I am ok!

*Pictures to come soon!

UPDATE........

The meeting with Ayu again and Lilac and family was great! Food food food...thats all I can say without elaborating!

Anyway, we managed to take only 2 pictures of Ayu, Alya and me.

Special thank you to Lilac and Sam for your beautiful anniversary and my birthday (3 weeks early) presents. Such great time with you guys, always!!!!!! Thank you to Ayu for making time in seeing us again in barely 24 hours!

The Jewish Wedding - Part 2

The wedding is only 5 months away. The last time I blogged about it, I did not even know what to wear…dress or baju kurung.

The search for THE baju kebaya was hard, especially when I had to call mak and tell her what color and style I wanted. When she came here with the kebaya, I was so relieved! It is the kebaya I wanted…nyonya style. But she could not find the kain batik that has been stitched up with zippers. So she asked me to ‘ikat’ my own kain batik. Well mak, I don’t think that will happen cos I will look like I am 5 months pregnant! So I have 2 choices, to wait for mak to come again in December (if she comes) with the sewn kain batik or wear the kebaya with pants. AND…I am also considering about ordering a dress from Newport News.

The wedding will be on February 4th…which is a Saturday. Luckily, we have enough frequent flyer miles so that the dad in law wouldn’t have to pay for our flights as he is already paying for our 3 night stay at a hotel in Miami and most probably a rental car too.

A jewish wedding…I am still trying to imagine how it is going to be. I am very intrigued by the jewish tradition. Besides looking forward to the 'glass breaking' after the vows are exchanged and the dance to the 'hava nagila' music, I also know that I am going to see the in laws for the second time, hang out with my sister in law and her husband, with the granny and grandpa and other relatives whom I have not met. To think that the kids and I are the only Asians in the family, it gives me a thrill. I know that they will ask me a lot about my culture and tradition, without being judgemental or preach Judaism. I know that I will feel the love and warmth, just like when I met the grannies (grandpa owned a bakery supply company and grandma, a sweet housewife), the uncle (who used to work at the jewish temple but now an attorney) and his wife (who is a devout jew) for the first time.

Now I am thinking…what do I get as their wedding present? A Lampe Berger? A crystal vase? Or another cat? Hahaha…