Got bun or no bun?

Last week I was sick as a puppy. But I still went to work eventhough my face was green and my head was spinning. This happened for 3 days. When the co workers saw me, they said that I had a 'bun in the oven'.

Yeah sure, we have been trying, but I did not expect for it to happen too soon. But it was 4 more days to go before my period was to begin. So everyone was speculating…they said from the way I looked, the way I was so lemah longlai, I sure was supposedly to be baking the bun.

The period day came. My girlfriend was saying 'well???' I said 'Nope, no period yet' and my face was white as a ghost. Friday, Saturday, Sunday….nothing. Monday, there were signs that I was spotting…another sign to indicate that I could be preggy. But…I didn’t want to hope…false hope. Everyone's holding their breath…I was getting nervous, unsure and not quite hoping.

Tuesday, the day came when the dam finally broke. So it was a 'bantut' bun in the oven! The sweet husband was excited all along. Now that he knows that it was a 'bantut' bun, he says that there are many other moments to capture the momentum.

Oh how the body can be so unkind to me. I was never late and this body just had to play tricks on me.

I am not disappointed. I did not hope for the quick 'reaction' to begin with. But these people around me just made me feel excited…for them hehehe.

So don’t hope yet everyone…the project is still on. I told everyone in the office to stop speculating me and let me live 'naturally' (literally).

Maybe Ailin and I could have a virtual baby shower if we time it right...right Ailin?

Bapak...

Believe it or not, it has been almost a month since bapak arrived in San Francisco. He will be leaving us on Sunday night.

I feel that this time, bapak's visit has been strictly 'rest and relax'. Since he has been here more than 5 times, he had not been requesting to go to LA, nor the sierras to see snow, nor anywhere. If he wants to go downtown, he would walk down the hill, takes the bus and roam around for a day and then come home. He surely is more bus savvy than me who takes the train everywhere I go.

But he sure had his agenda for the husband and me…to complete the remodeling of the laundry house for Mat. NO, let me rephrase that, bapak has been aggressively keeping us on our toes on remodeling the laundry house expecting the house to be completely remodelled and move in before he leaves…which is impossible. But he is just being our bapak. The laundry facilities had been moved to the garage. The new wall had been replaced last weekend. The walls painted and the tiles 10% laid. With work and me haven't been feeling too well, it is hard for us to keep working on it unless it was the weekend. But bapak is 'kind of' happy that it is 80% done now.

This last week of bapak being here, the kids happened to be off from school…due to President's Week. So, it was bonding week for the cucu and their yayi. They went to the mall, the movies and today, they're going to the mosque for bapak's last Friday prayer here. He might take the kids to the Fisherman's Wharf…but he might have gotten sick of the Wharf!

I might shoo bapak to take the kids out tomorrow, to spend time with him and then take him out to dinner.

It sure have been nice having him around. It was a good bonding session for him and me when we were painting the laundry house. It was nice to have someone to talk to before going to work, just like when I was back home when I had mak and bapak to talk about nothing before and after work.

Thank you bapak for everything. We love you and will always think of you…till July. Big hugs from your 'anak kecik'.

Bedak dan gincu...

This is Makeup...the Ely way, not the proffessional way.

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What is natural beauty? Hehehehehe, pardon my laughter cos it reminded me of the chat Ayu, Nazrah and I had on Friday night. Ayu decided that she would like to do a makeover on herself…eerrr, not extreme makeover lah (can't afford the plastic surgeon), just a 'kemas kemas' look on her side.

I think she might have regretted for thinking out loud and sharing with Nazrah and me cos the kakak2 surely could not stop typing…trying to give her tips on how to look beautiful. Hehehe…again I am laughing cos it was such a sweet moment between the 3 of us.

So here I am sharing what Nazrah and I had shared with Ayu, 'follow' us if you're interested :

Skin deep - Before anything else, whether you're a makeup wearer or not, you MUST (I repeat Ayu) must..take care of your skin. Wash, tone (if you must) and moisturize (that’s a must to me). The wash will clean your makeup or dirt that you might have picked up at the fast food restaurant, dandre that you might have picked up from that mamat who had acne, etc etc. The tone, will close up your pores after washing to 'tighten' the skin and the moisturizer, to make your skin supple. The tricky part is that, not all skincare products are good for you. Everything is trial and error.

The color - You do not have to love makeup to apply it. You also do not have to be a beautician like 'The Nanny' to put that makeup on. For that natural look, firstly, ensure that your skincare products are reacting well and you have the habit of using it before even thinking of makeup. But sometimes, makeup can force you to care for your face kan?

For natural look…very easy, get compact (I like bronzer) or loose powder (Nazrah likes this!) and a big powder brush and brush it on your face. Why a brush? So that it will be applied evenly without caking your face and look like wayang. You can also use foundation or tinted moisturizer of you feel that you have the confidence to evenly spread that stuff on your face. Remember, all these colors MUST match your skin color. As in, when you put the powder or foundation on your test wrist, the color should not appear on your skin at all…do not get anything too dark or too light or you will look like someone else (trust me on this, and I am not talking about any beauty queen).

Some will feel that foundation will make your makeup look heavy which is untrue. It will cover the open pores on your skin and make your face look 'naturally' smooth. Do not overapply this stuff or it will look heavy. Ensure that it blends into your skin. Oh and good skin care is important to remove it at night.

The eyes - Nazrah likes eyeliner (shes very complicating, uses up to 3 colors on the eye) and I love using eyeshadow as eyeliner. Depending on what kind of eyeliner you use, some eyeliners make your eyes look smaller. So I like the natural look, I use the dark colored eyeshadow to contour the top and bottom of my eyes…looks smokey kan? Again, you do not have to be an artist to 'draw' your eyes. Use a very very light glowey color on the top of your eyelids to the bottom of your eyebrows. This will make your eyes look dewy and fresh. Next, use the same color that you used to contour the bottom of your eyes to color the contour of the top of your eye. This will 'pop' your eyes out…not in a scarey way and no…not like Bambi's mom (so says Ayu).

The cheeks - again, the blusher is not meant to 'show up' at all. It should be natural color. The purpose of it is to give you that glow. One stoke, 2 strokes…oklah…don’t get carried away. If you can find a liquid blusher, even better, will definitely make you look glowey.

The lips - we all know that true red is NOT the color for anyone. I like 'icey' pink or 'icey' brown, depending on your skin tone. Lip goss with lip pencil is fine too. Wear bold colors only if you feel like you're confident with the color, if not, don’t even think about it.

Hair - If you're not wearing tudung and have not visited the hairdresser past 6 months, you might want to think about saying hi to them. Layering your hair will give it some body and keep you look 'maintained'. Rebonding your hair (for those who have the mullah) will make that curls go straight like china doll! The right shampoo and conditioner is the most important. Again, hair does not grow on your head naturally beautiful unless you're aged 5 and under (baby hair's the best!). Hair needs tender loving care too.

You must be wondering how long I take to get dressed for work? Mandi- 15 mins (kalau basuh rambut, kalau tak 10 mins), makeup-10 mins, dress up - 5 mins (kalau gosok baju, add 10 mins), hair - 2 mins (dry) or 5 mins (wet…must hairdry and put gel what!)

So there…I am not a beautician, neither am I known to be a makeup artist (I can't shade my eyelids too well for nuts compared to my co worker who could 'design' her eyelids!) but I can share some 'natural look' tips!

For those who still do not like makeup…do not feel obligated to do so (I know, banyak sangat steps), as long as the skin is taken care of, nothing else matters :) . And I don't judge my friends for their faces. I love them for their personality.

Oh and why did I keep mentioning natural? Can you imagine if you make yourself up like some film star (or porn star as the americans say)…take that makeup off and mak datok!!! I'll let you put the thoughts in your head for now.

But to me, natural beauty is what you're born with, inside and outside.

How to be a couch potato

Anyone who visits the US longer than 2 weeks will realize that they turn into couch potatoes within a week of being here.

All they need are :
- a working TV, who cares, 14" or 60" HDTV, they all work the same
- the remote, this is a must, or you will have to move your butt and would not be able to concentrate on 'fermenting' to be a couch potato
- a nice thick couch, to get yourself situated strategically in front of the TV, without getting cramps on your back
- a side table, so that before a movie starts, you have your popcorn, shrimp chips, kerepek whatever and diet soda to put on.
Oh and of course…
- a good movie or short 'show after show after show'

When I mentioned 'show after show after show', I really mean show after show after show…as in, show marathon. Sometimes on a weekend, a certain channel would show South Park ALL DAY LONG. Don’t worry if you fell asleep while watching the 4th episode, you can catch up on the 5th one. OR if you really fall into deep sleep, some channels show Dirty Dancing ALL DAY LONG…so catch up whenever you can.

And then I mentioned the good show/movie. My favorites are Dr Phil (yeah babey!), The Chappelle's Show, South Park, Miami Ink (my father in law thinks that only crazy people watches it), Dirty Dancing (all weekend), Grease (all weekend), all the movies in the Lifetime Movie channel and dozens others. So, if are taking a break from the 'big people' show, go to Disney Channel and watch Lizzie McGuire all day or the COURTTV channel and watch Forensic Files. If you have short attention span, how about watching 'The Osbournes' or 'The Hogan' (remember Hulk Hogan?) family run their everyday crappy lifes. Then there's Video on Demand. Movies from HBO, Cinemax, Showtime and TMC…the movies don’t start til u hit the button…there's 'White Chicks', 'Casablanca', 'Harry Potter 3', 'First 50 Dates', and many more to choose from. Hey and don’t forget to watch 'Tom and Jerry' all day too!

If you get tired of watching the goggle box, don’t be wary, go to the mall and window shop, get some air …relax those eye muscles. And when you're ready, the TV will be right there to welcome your return!

It surely is not that hard to be a couch potato. I truly am a semi couch potato. I watch TV from my bed, with the laptop in front of me too. I drift in and out of sleep on a lazy Sunday morning just cos I feel that I need to be a 'vegetable' for a day before I start working the next day.

Application not needed, come join the couch potato club.

*Bapak is sitting in front of the TV watching a movie from 'video on demand'*

What can I say...

It is Friday...but the day can be deceiving,
It has not been a pleasant day to begin with,
Part of it is totally not my fault,
But what can I say, I can't stop people from having attitudes.

Apology has been said and the rest is up to you.

Just don't fight with me when I am having my PMS...cos you will never win!

Bossy boss

Eversince the boss moved to the 1st floor, things have changed. I am working with him virtually, we message each other and use the telephone to communicate…emails included. But then I have the assistant manager who is sitting at the boss' former office up here. She took over some tasks of what the boss was doing when he was here (in terms of insurance and Reps admin).

Day by day, I have been feeling a little depressed, a little underachieved as I don’t seem to be getting the daily 'up to the minute' admin scoop…which lead to misadministration and miscommunication at times. The assistant managers are mostly in their own worlds and come to me only in the 11th hour to complete a project.

Today, the boss proposed a new project to me. Before that we had a pep talk (after I complained that he's virtually bossy too!)…he said that I am doing a great job. Sigh…and I meant a huge SIGH cos I am really not feeling that I am doing anything great. I feel underachieved and underperformed. But hey, I did not want to sound like a whiner yet. I asked 'You think? I don’t feel so!'…then as usual, we got sidetracked on other issues and didn’t really talk about how I was feeling.

But as we both left his office (him to a meeting and me back to the 2nd floor), he mouthed 'Thank you' to me. And I said 'Sure sure…and stop being bossy'…and he said 'You better take them stairs instead of the elevator!'…HAH!

'V' day again?

Update : Feb 14th 2006

It has been such a beautiful day today. Lots of sun and everyone seems to be happy.

The office was cheery at 8:30am. Most are wearing dark red or pink just cos its Valentines Day. One brought a tray of glazed cinnamon buns, one bought a dozen of donuts. The corporate cafeteria was decorated with Valentines Day ornaments and ribbons...red and pink.

Went to Union Square today just to get some candy for the family. Crowded...the Lush boutique was also crowded. I didn't look into the jewelry store...don't know if it was crowded or not.

Nothing big planned for the day. Nothing REALLY special going on here. Maybe a dinner for 2 at the neighborhood sushi place. I warned the husband not to buy me flowers...save the money for dinner.

This morning the daughter said 'I HATE Valentines Day...it's garbage!'...maybe cos she does not have a Valentine (what a relief!) or maybe shes being a feminist for now...after a so called 'breakup' with a fellow class mate (she kinda dislikes boys for now). The boy's oblivious to this occasional 'national holiday' thingy.

The husband is on his way to the Dr's office for his shoulder check up. After the surgery, the shoulder has only been 20% better as oppose to supposedly 80% better. So the specialist will determine if (a) they operated on the wrong problem or (b) they need another Dr for a 3rd (yes hear me out...THIRD) opinion.

Whatever it is, the day is not over yet. I hope you all had a sweet V day yesterday..if not...dont worry...everyday can be a V day and thats the most important thing?

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Valentines Day…something that the husband and I think to be the tackiest day in the year, apart from Xmas. But then again, if I don’t get candy or flowers, I would feel dejected eh? So…maybe this time, I would like to write a love note to my husband, for those who don’t like chickflicks to begin with, please click the 'back' button or just the 'x' to exit.

There's truly nothing much to say apart from reconfirming that I love my husband still and have not kicked him out to the curb yet? Or should I say that we are still discovering ourselves and that we have stopped that regular fightings (we have not fought for almost a year!)? I don’t know…

Anyway dear husband…

It surely was a miracle on how we met,
Thousands of miles apart,
Out of millions of fish in the sea,
We picked each other almost instantaneously,
No regrets of my decision for you.

I know we are not 'mushy' people,
No 'smoopy', no 'honey buns', no 'sweet cakes' calling,
But just plain ole Ely and plain ole David,
Sometimes we call each other names that could in turn offend us (like psycho, crazy, silly) :)

So there, my love note for you,
Nothing to really sweep you off your feet,
But at least you would know that…
I LOVE YOU & HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!

Oh yeah…to all bloggers, HAPPY VALENTINES DAY to you too! Much love from moi!

Aftermath of the aftermath

Aaaaah, a new template...again! Hopefully this template would not crash anyone's wifi cell phone due to the stupid pop ups!

The aftermath of the trip was not positive. We came home on Tuesday, one thing weird about me is that, I count my cats to make sure that they're all ay-okay. But heck, it was 2.45pm and the weather was beautiful so most of the cats were out enjoying the day. Come 8pm, one by one started coming in like 'ayam pulang ke reban'. Okay...where's Pinky and Puffy. 9pm, 10pm, 11pm, no Pinky nor Puffy. The husband jumped out of bed and called out their names...Puffy came back in 30 seconds...still no Pinky.

Wednesday...no Pinky
Thursday...no Pinky
I was getting frantic and started to cry each time when I was thinking of her. Where could Pinky be?
Friday...
I cried even more. Started to make flyers to put up in the neighborhood and planned to knock on neighbors' doors to see if Pinky was 'domesticating' in their houses. No...no sign of Pinky by 7pm. Aiyoh...how can Ely live without Pinky?

I forgot to mention that the husband brought Tuco, our previously 17 lbs cat to the vet as he has been losing too much weight since the past month. Costed us $300 for this cat to be diagnosed. The vet called on Friday to let us know that Tuco is diabetic. We have to bring him in on Saturday for some insulin dosages and consultation on how to care for diabetic cat. The vet says that diabetes for cats are not neccessarily premanent and they could be cured and have a normal and happy life. Now the husband is crying. Sigh...double whammy surprise eh? Pinky is missing and Tuco is diabetic.

But life went on for me...Friday night is shopping night. The kids have their baseball and softball tryouts in the weekend and we need to buy them baseball/softball gloves. And then to Petsmart to get cat food. Sigh...I was at the verge of crying when I was at the petstore...Ely can't live without Pinky!!!

Got home, bapak was talking on the phone with his beloved mak. I went into the room and started crying uncontrollably. Ely can't live without Pinky!!! Then I decided that I needed to do something to cheer myself up...change this blog template. Think positive...think positive...

10pm...
I heard a tiny mew from the sliding glass door outside my bedroom, I turned around and waited ...another tiny mew...then came the white head...PINKY!!! Tears of joy this time while I opened the sliding glass door...my Pinky is back!!!

Yup, she smelled musty though not dirty. She sure had been accidentally locked up in a neighbor's garage for 4 days!

Aftermath...

It was a beautiful wedding, very jewish, very personable and very very memorable. I get to meet 'new' cousins of the husband's whom he had not seen for over 20 years. For the siblings, it was another reunion for us.

Firstly, I reached the in laws place with the in laws busy counting the number of gift baskets for each room of the hotel that they have booked for the guests in Miami Beach...40 rooms altogether. Yes, not 4, not 14 but 40. The bride (my sister in law) just left the house and she was frantic...frantic as in panicky. The next night, 2 nights before the wedding, Kimberly, the SIL (sister in law) was begging for help in tying the ribbons for the wedding program. Here comes the SIL made in heaven (me lah) shooing her from the MIL's house and telling her to go home and get some sleep. The bride, wanting her wedding to be nothing but perfect had been so emotional, she cried over every little thing that did not fall into place. Sometimes nak jugak rasa macam nak cekik budak nih suruh bawak bersabar.

(Skipping my kebaya part, refer to pictures)The ceremony was held that the jewish temple. Like I said, my first ever jewish wedding. It went so well, at the end of the ceremony, guess who was bawling away besides my brother in laws?

Then came the oh so wonderful wedding banquet. If you have watched the Wedding Crashers, thats the exact scenario of how my sister in law described it to be. Life music, the 'Hava Nagila' chair dance and tonnes of 80's live music to dance to. I think my kebaya outfit attracted the attention of the cameramen...ahemm, enjoy it while it lasted eh?

We had been having late nights preparing for the wedding, the rehearsal dinner, the wedding and the aftermath. Right now, my eyes are hardly open...begging for beauty sleep before work tomorrow.

I love my husband's family. They're a bunch of good people who loves me as much as I love them!

Enjoy the pics, ask me questions if you want to :)

The invitation


The Bride


The ceremony


Happily Married


With the Bride


With mom in law


Errr, the Ratu Kebaya and her kids


The husband and step brothers


The husband, the bride, the sister (she rocks!!!)


The dance

More pictures...click on the thumbnail and click next for enlarged slideshow.

The time has come...

for us to leave,
the wedding is over...oh how beautiful it was,
another day left before we go,
with all the nice memories that we will hold...
in our hearts...FOREVER

To Florida We're Going...

Hence, this blog will be on sleep mode until I return.

Packing for the family gets easier now when the kids are older. They can pick out their own clothes to wear and shoes that they think they might need when they get there.

Took me only 30 minutes to pack the suitcase…on my part. Any tank tops, summer skirts, dresses and t shirts go into the suitcase. A pair of slippers, strappy ones for the wedding and tennis shoes for when I do my daily exercise are already in there. My kebaya will go in last, since it has been pressed, I shall spread it in the suitcase so that it will have minimal crease.

Bapak has arrived, he is doing his activities as usual…of pampering the kids, and enjoying the neighborhood when the kids are in school. He has requested that rice is a mandatory existance at mealtimes. So we have to buy rice (yup, we have all have been on a no rice diet!).

Dad in law, on the other hand, has been calling almost everyday to ensure that our preparations are on time, so that we won't forget anything, and that we have enough decent wear for the dinner rehearsal, the night before the actualy wedding. He's also getting as excited as we are. I am sure even the grannies' pug (the dog) is also as excited as the grannies.

Thank you in advance to Sam and Lilac to be so kind as to giving us a ride to the SJ Airport and back. We owe you big time!

Pictures will follow….

So there, update of this blog before we all leave…so long!

Pediatrician Office Saga

Something rare happened yesterday.

I had to take the daughter to the pediatrician as she has been getting this weird 'itchy scratchy' spasms which last only 10 seconds each time. So I called the pediatric office 2 days before the appointment.

Myrna, the nurse : 'So, new patient, first time coming to this office.' (we just changed medical insurance plan).

Ely the mom : 'Yes'

Myrna : 'Which Dr would you like to see? We have 5 Drs, Dr Ananda, Dr Chin, Dr Cliff, blah blah blah'…literally.

Ely : 'Well, you know, this is my first time bringing my daughter. Could you recommend me one?'

Myrna : 'Hmmm, we don’t recommend Drs, you know what I mean. But I can help you choose…Dr Ananda is Asian, Dr Chin is Chinese Asian, Dr Cliff is White, blah blah blah'

Ely already laughing : 'Girl, you are so funny! Your description is way beyond your call of duty! But hmmm, Dr Ananda sounds good'

Myrna laughing : 'Ely, you're giving me problem here, now you want me to choose the Dr for you. OK Dr Ananda, but wait! What kind of asian are you? Filipino? Chinese? Indonesian?'

Ely : 'INDONESIAN? How did you know that I am one? OK, Dr Ananda then.'

Yes, my Singapore ID indicates that I am indonesian. It does not make sense as it does not describe ethnicity but more like nationality. But I do know dang well that my parents are Jawa Peranakan (hehehe).

So to the Dr we went. Met Dr Ananda, nice beautiful, big eyes and very very friendly. She could not diagnose the little lady as the itchy scratchy was not flaring when we were in the Dr's office. She asked the little lady tonnes of questions, from her habits to her food to her puberty etc etc. Then the Dr gave her some anti allergy toiletries for her to use as step one.

When the consultation was over, I asked her what ethnicity she was. She said that she is indonesian. So I told her that I am malay, but says indonesian on my ID. My great grannies were from Java and my parents could speak some javanese words but not me. That was enough to trigger her jump for joy….'ahhhhh, a fellow man' kind of joy, you know what I mean? Then we started talking…in english, as she speaks only splatters of Bahasa, that did not deter her from giving me a hug before I left the office.

It was a nice visit, a meaningful visit to the pediatrician. Went home, let the husband know what happened and he was amazed…its so rare to find someone who comes from my little island or somewhere close to it in our everyday lives. But when we do, we tend to stick together. Like the Indonesian Consular employee who still calls me for advise on her insurance and the Singapore Consular who calls to make changes on their insurance in exchange for some immigration questions I have hehehe. I do get Singaporean and Malaysian customers visiting me at the office just to say hello or just to say that they're in town.

Isn't that nice? Something that we totally take for granted when we're back home.

Isn't it Sunday?

The husband : 'Ely wake up, its 6am!'
Me : 'Why are you waking me up so erly? Its Sunday!'
The husband : 'OK, go back to bed then.'

Then I heard the daughter in the shower humming away…darn it! So it IS MONDAY! Eeeeeeeeeee, liat betul nak bangun nih. Should I call in sick? Cos I really am SICK and tired of working. How I wish I could just stay home and go to work when I am ready (like the husband) or not even come in just cos its Monday!

Consolation to me, boss is in Sacramento on site visit, he will still be there tomorrow for a class, including the other assistant managers. So at least I will have time to write this entry muahahhahahaha.

So…update on looking for a bigger house to move. We have cancelled the idea as we have decided to improve the condition of this 80 year old house. There is a detached structure at the backyard that we do laundry in hence, its called the laundry house. We have decided to move the laundry facilities to the garage downstairs and make that a room/house/pad for the son. Sounds easy? Not really, firstly, we have to shell out at least $1.5k to reverse the laundry piping to the garage (that’s from 'up the hill motion' to 'down the hill motion;, house is on the hill remember!), then we have to move the washer and dryer down the flights of stairs and into the garage, as we all know that the washer and dryer are not feather weight japanese branded ones. Then we need to paint the inside of the little house, redo the floor and buy furniture for him. And we also have to make sure that the skunks are fully moved from under that laundry house.

So when the son is out of the kids' room, the daughter deserves for the bunk bed to be out, and get her a new set of furniture. They're still arguing on who will get the computer.

After that will be the main house's improvement. We have decided to change the floor, from the wall to wall carpet to hard wood laminate flooring. With the weather so damp and 7 cats in and out of the house, the musty and kitty smell in the house has not been kind to us. The kitchen might get a new kind of flooring as well….all DIY…hey, welcome to America where you do things YOUSELF! Oh and don’t forget the doors. We need to change the doors too.

Landscaping will be the pain in the a*s for us. The front yard is somewhat OK…full turf. But the driveway needs to be patched up. The backyard and the terrace needs 200% tender loving care. You see, we live on a slope. When it rains, the soil runs down bypasses our house and down to the driveway. So we're thinking of how to tackle this 'soil sliding' dilemma. Tuh lah, nak tinggal kat atas bukit, tapi tak tau camner nak handle hehehe.

So that’s our agenda for the year 2006.

*ooopss, I better remind the husband to replace that dead dishwasher!*

Bapak.....and Mak

Bapak has volunteered to housesit when the family goes to Florida for a week. Since he is going to be here for a month, he says that he would love to housesit and roam the city by himself when we're not around. This would not be his first visit to San Francisco…more like 6th-7th time I think?

So bapak will be coming on the 28th, 3 days before we head to the Sunshine State. And then something hit me…as much as I am so looking forward to seeing bapak again, he is coming without Mak. And then it hit me again…that I miss Mak. I miss her so much that when I was thinking of her on my way to work that I got so teary eyed. Maybe cos Bapak said that Mak would be making pineapple tarts for us and maybe some homemade cookies…priceless gifts!

I wish that Mak would come along with Bapak on this trip, but Mak is still busy working (cos she loves working!). She says that she is saving money for my kids when they go there for the summer…and for us when we get there. Not that I am expecting the parents to pay for our every expense, but I am just letting the parents do what they wanna do…to feel important.

So Mak, if you're reading this, anak Mak sayang dan rindukan ibunya. Mak selalu di ingatan kami. Oh dan terima kasih atas kueh tart yang akan diterima hehehe.

Salad, bikini and Florida...

Rabbit food…another word for salad, as per my co workers. The people in my office still cannot get use to me eating huge salad for lunch everyday…yes everyday. Rarely do they see me eat real food like baked fish or tuna melt (hmmm tuna melt sounds good to me!).

I told them that I do not torture myself to eat salad everyday. It just became a habit for me to eat salad for lunch, so that I can eat real food for dinner. It is also to discipline myself, to ensure that I get enough vegetables everyday. Even my friends like Ayu and Lilac know that I am eating normal…right?

No, I don’t feel that I am skinny yet. No , I have not gone mental yet either and no…I am not an anorexic in denial. I still have at least 10 more stubborn lbs to go before I reach my goal. With the holidays recently, I could admit that I ate carbs that I wasn’t suppose to. Thank goodness with daily 400 calories exercise has managed to make me lose more weight instead of gaining the carbs.

Now that the Florida trip is just around the corner and the wedding will be at the beach resort, all the more I feel that I need to lose even more so that number 1, I could eat more at the wedding and number 2, so that I could slip myself into that bikini...eh no..summer clothes.

I think I have lost that tropical sense of fashion, of not layering myself, but am sure it will slowly come back. The malls here have not gotten their spring collection out yet, so capris and t shirts are not selling yet. But I do have a batik sundress for the tropical weather and the slippers too (Ely doesn’t need help looking for sandals for the beach!).

Then the make up…according to theory, we should change our makeup every 6 months. I am overdue for the change, but just looking for the right time to do so…like now! I know I need a baby blue shadow for the eyes, and more shadow colors. Pink shadow is the in thing now, and don’t forget that green! And then also might need new lipstick colors.

And the list goes on….

Luh ker gua yang gila?

When you are all by yourself, not reading a book, not watching tv and your husband is asleep (for those who are married lah), have you ever laid in bed and thought about yourself? Not the ah beng that pushed you on the bus, not that stupid female naggy boss or that blogger who was talking about nothing but her holiday in the carribean...but yourself?

What comes into your mind about yourself? Do you love yourself today? Is it cos you completed that project timely and then have enough time to blog? Or that you might have made a change to someone's life or just simply that you have felt the satisfaction of being a mom? Have you ever hated yourself on that day? Did you say something stupid to someone who are not talking to you now? Or did you have a fight with your other half over something so silly?

Overall...on most days, do you love yourself more than the other way round? If you do why?

Or do you really hate yourself now and are in desperate need to change youself for the better?

Sorry, I know that I have been asking a lot of questions. This is how I sound when I am thinking aloud.

Call me selfish, but I love thinking about myself. On how I feel about myself lately and how I could make myself better if I hated myself on that day.

Many a days, I always come home feeling nothing but mentally tired. If I get overly stressed about work on that day, I would work the cr*p out of myself on that stepper or go for 15 minutes walks on breaks. If I feel satisfied with work, I would still feel tired...but in a better mood when I see the family. But please, these moods DO NOT include PMS!

I remember a friend who hated herself so much a few years ago that she shaved her head bald! I thought she was kidding until she showed me her 'gondol' picture. Kesian budak tuh, but her hair has grown (after a few years) and even has the length to do 'rebonding' hehehe...if you are reading this my friend, jangan marah! But she did tell me that she felt so much better after the 'botak' ing incident.

One therapeutic way of destressing (besides retail therapy) , are my cats. They purr when they ask for attention, they give me body massages when they purr to show love to their mommy. How nice eh?

Did you know that I just adopted a Siamese Fighting Fish since December to keep me sane in the office? I have not named him yet...maybe Kenny (like in South Park...'Who killed Kenny!') or maybe Samdol...I don't know, but he sure has given me the 'hope' of staying sane while at work. I am not going to buy that Zen thingy that you can put on your desk, raking the sand and putting shells into the miniature pail and imagine that you're at the beach and then voila! you will feel better....cos my co worker has it. All I need to do is to just to to her office, and start picking shells and rake the sand on her desk!

Any therapeutic ideas on how to stay sane?

The 'take a breather' entry...

Work has not been that kind to me lately. Well...I am glad that my boss is back from his military duty in the gulf….but I was not glad when he decided to swap offices with another lady assistant manager and me, stuck here on the 2nd floor.

Work has not changed a bit here. I still handle his projects, coordinate his calendar and his other nitty gritty stuff. Its just harder assisting him when we're geographically on different floors. The stupid intercom keeps beeping more now. The msn messenger (we use that for the office) keeps dinging with messages from him and my inbox is getting more of his emails…drives me nuts cos now I even have to leave him voicemails to keep in touch with him apart from having to run to the 1st floor almost every 2 hours.

Since the boss was away for 4 months, it was catch up time for him…and me…ripple effect. On Monday, my workload was virtually drowning me beyond believe, on Tuesday, the workload did not subside but the tide seemed to get higher. Wednesday, the boss had to scope office space for the move and phew…4 hours of him being away from the office helped me cut my workload in half.

And then back to the 2nd floor, the 2 lady assistant managers…both in their 50s. One has a major power trip and the other, major tensed up attitude. I hear them bicker over little issues like where to bring the sales reps for lunch, which restaurant and where to put that stupid cabinets. As we all know, ladies want their say in anything, which I totally back off from all these bickerings.

One even went beyond her call of duty by asking me every minute on what I was doing. But Ely fixed that pretty quickly (don’t ask me what I did cos this entry would not end).

Anyway, right now, I am just taking some deep breaths by writing this. The sun is shining…good time for a good walk during lunch!

Those in the US, happy long Martin Luther King weekend!

Sleepovers...

Last weekend was our turn to host Masturah's sleepover night since she has been going to her friends' houses for Saturday night sleepovers. Managed to 'move' the son to his friend's house so that the girls could have more space without the 'male invasion'.

Little did I know that girls can be such picky eaters. No one protested when we ordered pizza, I mean, which kid does not like pizza? Then came dessert time…the husband suggested that we go out (in the cold) and get dessert with the girls. 3 girls, 2 wanted Krispie Kreme, 1 wanted Starbucks (cant resist that blended crème). After much loud giggly arguments, majority wins…donuts at 9pm.

By the time it was 10pm, 'the parents' (that’s us) were dead beat. The girls must have had the sugar rush from them donuts, still giggly, screaming and talking in the other room. I told them,'We're going to bed now. Do whatever you want, just don’t burn the house down and STAY QUIET!'. They did pretty well as I fell asleep right through the night and did not hear the kids blowing up their beds at 12:30 in the morning!

Then came breakfast…2 wanted pancakes, 1 doesn’t like pancakes. So scrambled eggs and a lil bit of meat for the picky eater and pancakes for the rest.

It was overall a very pleasant weekend with the girls, first time having the more than 1 of the kids' friends staying over. I am sure that when we move, the kids will be at our place more often that I can imagine!

The year Two Thousand and Six...

'Happy New Year & Welcome Back…it is a start of the new year. Thank you for the successful 2005. Our region has reached its goal and I am looking forward to 2006. More new good things will happen as we go along. New products, new offices in San Francisco and Redwood City and new training programs for our sales section.'…so says our Regional Director.

There will be so much changes in 2006. Work wise, our big office will split into 5 different offices in San Francisco. Major changes will happen. Personal wise, maybe more than we expect. We're still looking for that house to upgrade into. Maybe some new edition to the family after that? I don’t know…time surely is running out.

Not much of resolution here for me. Maybe lose that 13 more lbs that I am still working on (good God! The holidays have been the biggest killer), make more $$ and save more, lower that outstanding credit and be a better mom and wife.

The kids are teenagers now and I feel that this year will be a year full of surprises, especially when the son goes to high school in September and the daughter in middle school. More changes in their social life…or my co worker says, they have a 'social calendar' now.

Somehow or rather, I can sense that the husband and I have earned our 'dating time' back since the kids have sleepovers almost every weekend nights. What is dating to us? Hmmm, let me think hard….

So far, we have gone to rock concerts. We also go to dinner and sometimes just dinner at home, just the 2 of us…and the cats. No wailings of 'Ibu..' every now and then or words like 'be quiet you!' or 'I'll tell on you…IBU!!!'.

The kids have grown into little friends to me. A personal confidante to the girl and a 'supervisor' (as he calls me) to the boy. They still love me being around them and fooling around with them as much as I love their presence.

I am so not looking forward to them being young adults and then move away to college.

Oh, and not forgetting the jewish wedding in 4 weeks! The sister in law is getting married and we're still busy preparing for the trip. As we all know, visiting in laws is not like going on vacation (you can look ratty when you're on vacation but not when you meet in laws!). But I sure am going to enjoy this trip and the wedding of the year!

Perempuan melayu terakhir...

'Will the last malay lady please bring the malay flag!!!', that was what my husband said when I told him that a childhood friend got married yesterday, to a British dude.

You see, when I married my husband, I was not the first one to be married to a foreigner. I had 4 other immediate cousins who were 'speculated' closely by my relatives for marrying americans/british or someone from a faraway continent. And the practice didn't stop there, one cousin after another were migrating to either the US, Australia or the UK to be with their husbands.

Since I married the husband 4 years back, my mom has been this 'confidante' about how to handle emotions when their daughters were to go away. What if their daughters marriages don't work... and other 'what ifs' yang sewaktu dengannya. I am happy that my mom shares her experiences with her friends and relatives and gives advises to those who were as nervous as her when their daughters say that they wanted to marry a non malay.

One of the theory that she came up (and told me too) was that malay young ladies are now more educated, they have higher demands and are more independent. Internet has made anything possible and love can blossom from the internet, just be prepared if your young lady is at that legal age of marriage and all of a sudden you daughter is ready to move away. Never expect that to come out of my mom eh? And get this, my mom surely did not behave that way when I was the one doing it years back!

So anyway, back to the first paragraph, my husband says that foreigners like him has 'saturated' the malays and he is one of the guilty ones!