The pump, the bump and the 'hummpph'...

'Hey, would you like to buy a breast pump machine from me? Its top of the line brand and my wife used it only a few times', a male co worker asked.

'Oh yea? You might want to bring the pump with you here and give me a demo!'…of course that was me talking.

That was my co worker who was trying to sell me his baby stuff. Yes the pump is indeed a top of the line brand. He bought it for $350. So we came up with a price…$150. Good deal to me! Then I messaged the husband about having 'bought' a breast pump for $150 and he asked,'Does this one make milk shake too?'.

Last year was also a baby booming year in my office. But they were all husbands expecting their babies….all boys! So this year, 3 ladies are pregnant in my office. One is a first time mom, one a second time mom who still has her preggy clothes and baby stuff and the other one (that’s me!) a third time long lost mother who owns only 5 pieces of maternity clothes when this entry was written!

Since I am closer to the crowd in this office (how to not get close when I nag them everyday?) I seem to be getting more offers from these people trying to sell me stuff. Knowing them having good high taste, I trust the products they buy. I am also getting food and 'gagging' offers (they start to gag when they see me looking sick just to tease me). I hope that one of the offer would be a Baby Hummer or a Toyota Mini Van hahahaha.

I almost went on a cruise to Vancouver that 6 of the ladies in the office went last week. But I backed out a minute before they booked the cruise as I knew that I would be more of a trouble than fun for them. Gotta take care of Ely…what if she gets sick? But one of the ladies said,'That’s ok that you're not coming with us, you'll be sleeping the cruise away if you came with us! Frances (the other preggy co worker who is always tired too) is already with us, don’t want double trouble!'. Great!

Did I fail to mention that I am still in 'denial' of trying to squeeze into my normal work clothes eventhough I am bursting out of my pants, the knitted blouses riding up my tummy and the teeny sweater just wouldn’t button up around the waist? Besides waking up one morning feeling as though someone put huge stones in my tummy (like the wofe story remember?) and feeling tired, this clothes issue is something that I really dread.

I have collected 5 tops and one (yes one!) maternity pants so far. The pictures in the previous blog, was the first one that I bought and no I haven't worn it to work yet. I was thinking of waiting till next weel when I hit the 12th week to start wearing maternity clothes. So I guess Ely has to hussle and go shopping again…which I really really dread!

As the uterus gets bigger, the cramps come and go intermittently. Same goes with my energy and mood. One minute I am hyper and another, I feel drained. One minute I am happy and another, I get moody. The husband sometimes just could not grasp the concept of being pregnant. He always thinks that I am mad at him for some reason and would throw tantrums before I could tell him that I do not feel well. He told me yesterday,'Next time when you're not feeling well, please let me know'…Hello???? Maybe I should have a mood or pain sensor on my head yeah? I cannot explain it myself when this will happen. But what can I say. I cant help others if I can't even figure myself out?

I guess I also forget to tell you that the gynae says that this baby will definitely be born at more than 8lbs cos according to my babies' birth weights, my 1st one was born at 6.2lbs, the 2nd at 7.9lbs and this one, at least another pound more. Yeaaahhhh....it surely wasn't funny when she told me that eh? And I am still NOT laughing!

Tickets to Singapore have been bought. The kids are flying in a month and me, in 6 weeks. The husband is already weeping, that he will miss us a bunch, which means that he will buy his ticket soon to join us (we only bought 3 tickets cos he thought he wasn’t going, yeah right!).

I am making a list on food…what to eat while I am there!

It's still Mother's Day here in the US....fragments of it left. Those who have not brought their moms out, this is the only chance to take them out to dinner.

When the kids asked me what I would love for Mother's Day, I said 'Peace and Quiet'...of course, that was just a wish waiting to come true. It was a beautiful morning and we went straight to Chinatown for the boys to get their haircuts and for me to find my Fish Head to make Fish Head Curry and maybe look look for 'telur ikan'. Yes to Fish Head but no to telur ikan (hard to find). Oh well.






Then we went to Fort Point to enjoy the beautiful sun and weather. Did some walking and climbing of stairs till we got hungry and then straight to Chutney for my favorite indian lunch. Hmmm...sedap!

To the mall we went as I needed to buy some maternity clothes. The kids did their shopping, Paps and the kids gave me a very nice Piglet stuffed toy, Mrs Fields cookies that says 'Happy Mother's Day' and a box of See's Hard Candies. Hehehehe...makes me happy!

But life's back as usual when we got home, cat napped, more laundry and made some jemput2 pisang.

Its 7:02pm now, hot hot hot...lil bit of laundry left, the kids just got nagged at for vegetating in front of the tv doing nothing, so now they're scrambling to clean their respective rooms.

One more hour before I say hello to the bed again and goodbye to the wonderful weekend.

And I hope that its still not too late for me to say HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all mothers out there....we're ALL SPECIAL!!!

Ely is feeling very tired yesterday, today and maybe in days to come.

Please be patient with me. I do not have the energy to update the blog regularly for now.

The son's baseball practices and games have been overly taxing for me and the little munchkin in my belly.

I'll try to update as soon as I gain my energy back.

The Second Appt...

Can you see the skeletal 'face' at the top?

May 3rd was my 2nd gynae appointment, 1st time for the husband.

The baby has apparently grown...by 1.2cm. It was amazing when we saw the real tiny one sitting comfortably at the corner of my uterus, moving every now and then, with the heart beating so fast! As the heart was beating, seemed like the heart jumped out of its body, making it a 3D heartbeat. So the husband and I went 'woooooowwwwww....'. The size of my uterus is now of a small cantaloupe or a huge grapefruit.

So far so good...gynae says that I am doing ay-okay. She says that I am sick for a reason, my weight gain is for a reason too (yes, I gained another 5 lbs! Eeeeek) and she will see me in 4 weeks.

Heh...the tummy with the 'grapefruit'...yes...I feel bloated!

Oh please don't mind the water mark on the t shirt, just had dinner :)

The Birthday Wish...

The day has come again
38 years ago when you were born
Cute little baby you were
Still as cute today :)

Happy Birthday my dearest Husband and Paps
May Allah bless you with more good, healthy and wealthy years to come!

Your family loves you!

Don't this, don't that...

I am counting on the weeks that I will be into the 2nd trimester. Counting…counting…counting…its like counting sheep…makes me fall asleep (I fall asleep all the time anyway!).

As we all know, when you start getting pregnant, the superstitions start coming out. My chinese friends seem to observe what I am eating. They said no pineapples, not too much bananas, no watermelon, no this, no that. Then the non chinese, would say, no soda, no chips its bad for you, no this no that. But but but, Ely had some pineapples during the potluck last Friday, and Ely had some bananas too…though not often. Then the husband bought a huge a*s watermelon. The soda makes me burp, gets rid of the morning sickness and queasy tummy and the chips also helps take away the dizziness. (pssst...did Ely ever mentioned that she gets bouts of French fries cravings at 3pm every day? That shall be left unsaid!!!).

And I surely can remember back home, when my aunts and mom would advise the preggies to carry at least 2 inches of nail or a pair of pockets scissors (to ward off pontianak) and not wear wangi wangian when you're having a baby. Do not come home later than 7pm cos the spirits will follow you home (after the nail and scissors, even the robbers wouldn’t follow the preggies home!). Well…I did NOT say that I did not carry them sharp thingies when I was preggy last time, I had a pair of pocket scissors in my purse just to make my mom happy, but truly, I am glad that 'nothing' followed me home either. Maybe this time I should carry a nail file to replace the iPod nano that’s in my purse? And I am lucky that its spring, the sun doesn’t go to sleep till 8pm…so Ely has time to check out the mall after work and still be back in broad daylight!

I am getting advise from the gynae that I could have as many cats and sleep with as many cats that I want but not to change the cat litter at any time during pregnancy. If I wouldn’t have to give up the kitties, I am ay okay! But the parents says that the cat dander will effect the baby. Relaks mak and bapak, Ely will be ok! OK????

But I truly believe in the '30 day confinement' period. Taking jamu, bengkung (no bengkung, girdle also can), pilis and parem (I have adverse reaction to parem, gives me the headache instead of getting rid of it). No cold drinks for 30 days, no going out etc etc. That I do believe. But as we know, this is America, where the moms take their babies out as soon as they get out of the hospital and attack McDonalds for their first meal together. Some would even wear shorts and slippers in the cold…aiyooooo. But there is no tukang urut here. Called the indonesian consulate (have a friend there) asking them if they have tukang pijit…nope! Oh well…I will have to make do without makcik urut!

And readers, please do not be fooled by my picture and think that I still look good. Thats all makeup and cover up work hehehe. I put more eye makeup highlighter in the morning to make my eyes look fresh, more eyeshadow for that eyeliner and more rouge to not make myself look pale. Thats to take the attention AWAY from my mushy tush and bloated belly!

Can anyone remember any bizarre superstitions for preggies?

How did my weekend go?

It surely has not been a bad weekend so far.

A cousin called on Thursday evening saying,'Hello, I'm here!!!'....so I asked,'Here as in where? Geylang?'...'Nolah, here in San Francisco! I just flew in from Oregon and was deployed to San Jose for a few days before flying back to Singapore'. Nice...he was visitor number 5 who would call only when they are geographically here in San Francisco with no advance notice. But we're used to it. Being hosts...we get overjoyed with friends and relatives who call when they're here, last minute or not, but happy that they think of us!

So the weekend was all about the son and his first baseball game, and a cousin whom I have not seen in 2 years.







So far, I am doing OK. I can admit, I think I have gained one or two more pounds. The tummy has mysteriously grown overnight. I officially can't fit into my Levis 515 Low Rise anymore. The maternity jeans fits me in the waist and tummy now but the thighs and hips still 'dangling' (means still oversized lah). The maternity t shirts fit me like a glove too. Sigh...baby number 3, seems like the tummy will be 3 times bigger.

The next gynae appointment will be on Wednesday, hoopefully, more update! Stay tuned...

Patience...

…a very very challenging word in my life right now which I do not have much choice but to have it close to my ears, heart and head!

First comes patience with my own body. I feel that my body is a factory, lots of things happening 'down there', 'in there' and 'up there'. From mild cramps, to back ache to nausea to weakness in my body. When I get home, all I want to do is to be in bed, watch Dr Phil and doze off! I keep aplogizing to the kids for being such a weakling. That ibu does not mean to shun them off but ibu has no energy to sometimes have a conversation with them. But its great when they come to the bed to talk to me instead.

Then patience for the kids. My son, who is 13, has learned some 'not so good' elements in life. Not that hes turning into a bad boy…but sometimes this boy (or like many other boys) feel that honesty is not the best policy? Or that homework is not mandatory or that he just does not care of his surroundings at home and losing his $29 a month bus pass and not even telling us. Here comes the paps and ibu having to give him lectures at home on how to be responsible (I am sure he had heard it 100x) and that doesn’t work, we do not spare the rod.

The daughter, who is 12, has not been nice to everyone lately. PMS aside, she has this pitch number 10 when she speaks to everyone at home. She would pick fights and loves to argue over nothing at 6am every morning. She can be a darling that’s for sure. She knows that ibu is mad when ibu doesn’t talk to her. Shes the most honest person on earth too!

The husband, now this one is a reversed patience. HE is the one who has been patient with my complains, my backache, and my cravings. Sometimes I do feel like I was ignoring him as all that I ever want to do at night is sleep. When I have my head in the toilet bowl, he rushes into the bathroom and has this wet towel ready to puy on my forehead to soothe the nausea. Needless to say about cooking dinner almost every night. With my moodiness, he has been a very patient husband. I wouldn’t know what I would do without him.

That’s why I keep telling myself that I have to be patient all the time. To count to 10 when I get mad at the kids. To cut them some slack for my sake. I do not want to get stressed and naik darah as I don’t have the energy to do so.

Sigh...

Blogging nowadays can sometimes be a drag….when I am still half awake every morning, hoping that everyday would be a weekend morning. How I wish!

Last Thursday was my first gynae appointment. She is also my new Dr after changing medical insurance from the lousy one last year. This Dr was recommended by my co workers, who apparently share the same panel of gynaes!

The weighing machine weighed me ….2 lbs heavier. Boleh tahan! If I didn’t wek wek, I must have gained 5 lbs! Then the visitation room. Since I hadn't had a PAP smear since 2 years ago (I believe in PAP smears every 3 years!), I was advised to wear this disposable pink surgical gown with the opening to the front. The gynae will also do a yearly breast exam for me. So there I was, in my pink gown, on the examination table, looking around the med office.

Hmmm…its been a while since I last saw a gynae due to pregnancy…the ultrasound machine looks different. Smaller, unlike 12 years ago. They also do electrolysis, permanent hair removal…which is VERY attractive to me (seriously thinking).

The gynae came in, very very nice asian lady, in her 30s. We sat and had a casual conversation, talked about ourselves. Making silly jokes about my last child being 12 years old, built in babysitters!

Then the PAP smear (which I hate) and the breast examinations were done. Not too bad. Then she did an ultrasound scan for the baby. The embryo was kinda big…then the jelly bean…teeny little jelly bean glistening…which was the heartbeat. It surely was nice and relieved to see that my baby is well, in the right position and with a heartbeat!

Click on picture for bigger image

The next appointment will be next week, this time the husband is coming along.

Lastly, I would like to thank Cik Adik Ayu kita tuh who has been tirelessly calling me though sometimes I really could not answer the phone due to Ely was puking, Ely was falling asleep or Ely was giving her husband a hard time. Ayu has been offering me food…volunteering to get me food should I get last minute cravings. Alas, when I am having morning sickness, I don’t crave! I assured Ayu that the time for her to bring me food will come very soon…just standby! We all at home love you Ayu!

UPDATED : Terkenan kan si dia tuh....

Does this ring the bell? If you like or hate a certain person when you're pregnant, your baby will grow up to be like that person. I remember my late ex mom in law, who terkenan kan this indian boy who was selling mee rebus at her doorstep. When she was pregnant with the ex husband, she bought mee rebus from this boy every day without fail. When the baby was born, the ex was the only dark skinned person among his siblings.

There was also an incident about my cousin. The cousin and his pregnant wife was at the airport in Singapore, sending a relative off. While they were bidding goodbye, a white blonde boy fell in front of his pregnant wife. The cousin helped the little boy up and rubbed his forehead. 4 months later, the baby was born with a patch of blonde on his bangs and I kid you not…the color still exists and hes almost 20 years old now!

So that’s why the old people would advise for pregnant women and their husbands to be nice to others, don’t hate anyone, don’t torture animals and so on.


But I wouldn’t mind if I had a son, that my son would look like the Rock hehehehe.

=========================================

Update : Sunday 2pm

Ahhhh, Ely's feeling better today. Took the gynae's advise to continue taking Vitamin B6 and half of Unisom (sleeping aid pill) every night and the morning sickness would be reduced. Indeed it has, besides me feeling sleepy and trying to get use to taking Unisom earlier at night so that I could rise at 5:30am on weekdays.

So...Saturday, I craved for Nasi Lemak. Malas nak masak so the husband brought me to the Singaporean Restaurant...sedaaapp!!! Tak sedap pun rasa macam sedap tekak orang mengandung nih. $6 for a huge plate of Nasi Lemak...gasak lah.

Sunday, I am craving for roti jala and curry. So I went to the supermarket, get the stuff for the roti (thank goodness the husband bought meat from our arabic mak angkat the night before) and here I was 'jala' ing with my daughter being the back up.

Then the husband says that we have to cook the ground beef that had been sitting in the fridge for days. He suggested Sheperd's Pie...SURE...I made not one but TWO Sheperd's pies and put them in the fridge for tomorrow's dinner. The other pie maybe we could split them in 4 so that we ALL could take a portion to work/school for lunch.

Haaaaahhh.....puas hati! Bayar niat tak dapat masak since many weeks ago!

Oh yeah, if you're curious on how to make delicious Roti Jala and Sheperd's Pie, go visit my Recipe Blog ok!

Akan Datang (Coming Soon) -- My first prenatal visit to the gynaecologist...watch out for it!

Wek wek and more wek

5:30am – woke up, dear husband handed me a piece of bread (to supposedly ward of morning sickness)
6am – in the bathroom, face in toilet bowl, felt like I threw up my whole nerve system, including my eyes, mouth ears and all that.
7am- all dressed up, face all green. I knew that I wouldn’t make it to work without being sick.
7:30am- called office to tell them that I will not be in the office. How nice, my co worker, volunteered to feed my fishy (yes, I have a fishy at work) a few times a day. Kesian mamat tuh lapar mummy dia takder kat ofis.
9:30am – I knew that I couldn’t eat ANYTHING without throwing up but had to eat. So I cooked ramen noodles with very little seasoning.
10am – threw up what I ate. Aiyoooooo….so weak. Couldn’t even watch tv as its under the turning ceiling fan…mabuk!
10:30-1pm- slept, nak makan for sure keluar balik.
1pm-4pm- slept again.
4pm- kids came back from school, asking me if I ate, I said no. the daughter urged me to eat. So I had a toast. Rushed to lay in bed, hoping that the toast would stay in my tummy.
6pm- husband cooked dinner. Grilled chicken and some rice pilaf. The smell of the grilled chicken, enough to kill my respiratory system. The sell of the pilaf, eeewww.
7pm- time to eat. I chewed on a broccoli and 2 spoonfuls of pilaf. Husband, had a plate of pilaf and 2 huge chicken breasts. I ran straight to the bathroom, head in the bowl. The broccoli and the pilaf just came back out. Nothing much in there…
7:30pm- went to the pharmacy, got some Vitamin B6 (known to reduce dizziness and nausea).
8pm – had 25mg of the Vitamin B6, felt better in 20 mins. Had some Healthy Mom bar for pregnant ladies bought by dear husband.

In short, I only managed to have 2 bars of Health Mom health bar which have a total of only 52 gm of carbs for the day. I know, its not good at all. But I woke up feeling better today. Its only 6:30am, had another 25mg of Vitamin B6 and a bar of Healthy Mom. If I have to eat Healthy Mom everyday…who cares, as long as the food stays in me.

At least I am not feeling dizzy now, but still not feeling great. Still feeling dehydrated from not eating yesterday. Still not going to work, need another day to hydrate myself.

Tomorrows, going to be a somewhat long day. Early morning visit to the vet for Tuco, who needs a blood curve test or his diabetes, leave him there and to work. Appointment with the gynecologist tomorrow.

Cravings, something that I thought would not even cross my mind especially when I am having my morning sickness…no, let me correct that, not morning sickness but ‘all day sickness’!

Yes, no kidding, this sickness strikes at any time of the day. Mostly mornings, but other days., it could be at 12pm, 3pm, 5pm, after dinner and even 3am! These sea bands that I am wearing sometimes do not work at all. Ginger ale does not work, whole wheat bread in the morning before getting off bed works for only an hour but does not take the nausea away. But yesterday, I discovered Preggy Pops, which somewhat helped a little bit. No toilet bowl incident yesterday, so that’s a progress right?

But it can be a chore eating food nowadays. Nothing tastes right to me. I was craving for mee siam, cooked some yesterday with my heart and soul. All ready to eat, but after 5 bites, I had to put it aside. Just couldn't swallow it! Same goes with any noodle soup that I could be craving for. The only food that I can stomache right now is plain rice and sushi. Sigh...

Back to cravings, I have one minor (which can turn into a major one if not tended) craving. Frozen chocolate covered bananas!!! I knew that I could get them at Trader Joe’s and my cravings would be fulfilled. But hey, they were out on that those frozen bananas. That was wrong wasn’t it? So my gf called me over the weekend and I deployed her to go to her Trader Joe’s to see if she could get them frozen bananas for me….no luck! It could be a county wide out of stock for frozen bananas at Trader Joe’s.

Then Ely’s craving turned into code red. Ely must have frozen chocolate covered bananas. Tak boleh tahan! So, then I decided to make my own. Bought some bananas, froze them, melted the semi sweet chocs, dipped them bananas, voila! Jadi jugak!

I have been cravings for bananas lately…tak kisah lah how the bananas come in, fried, steamed, dipped or whatever. Maybe I am expecting a boy hehehehe.

Bummy Tummy...

1st born : tummy did not really show at 9 months
2nd born : tummy REALLY showed at 9 months, baby was almost 8 lbs
3rd coming : almost 7 weeks along, pants fit fine, but the tummy area is bursting.

Do you believe in that? According to theory, when a mother is pregnant and if its not her 1st born, her tummy tends to show sooner than her 1st born due to lack of elasticity. Of course the theory refuses to say that its due to the extra paunch and skin that we get from the other previous newborns.

I know that I can't fit into my low rider Levis and GAP jeans as it will pinch my bladder to the bathroom. So now I am relying on my work clothes, which I guess still has an inch or 2 for the baby to grow. But I already have a pair of maternity pants ready…which is too big after washing and drying them. The sales assistant says that it would surely fit me sooner or later but hello…I need them jeans NOW not later geddit?

As for the boobs problem. Now I have to wear a pair of sports bra to support them girls when I go to sleep without feeling the cut of them underwires. I know the sports bra would not last me much longer as them girls are running in different directions PLUS the weight.

Do you smell raging hormones here? Hmmm, I thought I wasn’t raging much until the husband says,'Its ok Ely, calm down, here give me a hug…everything will be ok'. And I was like 'what the heck is he doing?'. He said that I had been yelling a lot lately and I said 'WHO SAYS THAT I HAVE BEEN YELLING?' ooopss, I guess I did huh? Maybe my ears are getting deaf due to pregnancy besides forgetting a few things here and there at times. Thank goodness the savior boss understands my situation when he sees me yawn when hes talking, or when I totally do not get what he is talking about…I'm getting spacey. Kesian aku…

Anyway, nothing much else to report about. Its only 11:45am here and I am already thinking of bed sweet bed!

GREAT WEEKEND EVERYONE!

I tend to realize again...

Do you believe that every change in your life comes with a reason? Does it make you do a self reflection?

As soon as I saw the pregnancy test and the result was what we had been waiting for, we were all delighted. Unlike being a first time mom, I was not afraid, not nervous…just excited that our family is growing. Growing into a bigger happy family.

Then after a few days, the self-reflection began. Is our family going to be bigger, stronger and happier? And what have I done and will do in my part to make my family as such? With the bundle of joy, this little one will be LOVE by itself. Like peope say, big stuff come in small packages!

Also, while I am going through a body change, turning into one huge potato and eventually walk like a penguin before the little one burst out in due time, I tend to feel…a feeling that only mothers could feel….the love for my kids.

I realize now that I love my kids so much, that no other material could replace them. What made me realize this? Well you know, in our everyday lives, we tend to take things for granted. We know that we love our kids ands spouse but sometimes a good significant change could make us realize that we love them THAT much!

The kids' response to the pregnancy, the way they treat me extra special, panicking when I start throwing up and making sure that I swallow that cookie, though I am trying not to eat junk food in this early stage, is enough to show that they love me, they care and that they want to be part of the pregnancy. But this does not make them perfect kids…they still bicker, don’t listen to their parents at times and tend to slack in their chores.

And all I have to say about my lovely kids is that, Ibu loves you more than anyone else in this world!!! And I know that our family will definitely be bigger, stronger and happier.

No, how can I forget the husband…who is part of this conception? Priceless as his expression was when he first saw the digital pregnancy test, he has been the wonderful husband that I have dreamed of all my life (ahemm, am I sounding fake yet? Hehe). He's there to hear me whine 'Oh I have lost 5 more lbs, how can that be?', 'Oh I am not feeling good…I am sleepy…now I am nausea!'. And he's the one in the kitchen getting me that whole wheat bread at 5:30 in the morning to contain the morning sickness. I think I have also heard him saying to the kids,'Now, make sure your ibu does not do laborous chores. You need to help her whenever you can OK?'.

I went to the Motherhood boutique the other day and was looking at maternity outfits (must 'aim' which ones I like first!) and the sales assistant asked if I would like to to try some outfits on. I said 'Nah, the husband's waiting outside, don’t want to rage him'. The sales assistant then said,'Oh don’t worry, he will wait. Husbands are nicer to pregnant wives you know!'. Aaaahhhh. How right she is!

So last night, I was browsing on the internet looking for walking shoes. The husband said,'You have already bought that Coach purse online today…what are you looking for now?'. And I responded,'But husband, I am pregnant! I need a pair of walking shoes!!!' Hah! That’s exactly what the husband said…hah! Ooooh, now I need to find a Coach wallet to match the purse too!

Why is the world spinning?

The morning sickness has begun. Thats why the font of this entry is purple...just like my face.

I thought that I could escape from this, like when I was having my 2nd child.

Oh how wrong I was.

Ely is trying to find a way to prevent/cure this morning sickness. She's on a mission...

I had bread 30 minutes before I got out of bed. That seemed to work. I might try the 'sea sick' band today and see if it works wonders for me like others. But first I must survive the bus and train ride and the walk to the pharmacy to buy the band.

If I seem to be 'missing in action' in the next few days...please understand that I am fine...just sick as a dawg!

But I shall not forget you...

Taaa...

ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZ...

Have you ever fallen asleep while sitting with friends and having a conversation at a restaurant?

Have you ever fallen asleep when your boss turns away from you and is having a conversation with a co worker? You don't want to get caught sleeping on the job...but you can't explain why you doze off in a snap of a finger.

Have you also ever felt so sleepy, that whatever the people around you were talking about, you felt like you were still in dreamland?

Well people...thats what I am feeling now...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...eerrr sorry i fell asleep.

As the journey begins...

The crave was with a reason
The PMS was a sign
The late period I thought was like last month
But what do you know, it surely was a surprise….

You see, my second precious one is 12 now. Imagine, being pregnant again after 12 years! I am like a dummy all over again!

The kids were very ecstatic when they heard the news. The daughter has chosen a name if it was a girl. I secretly have chosen a name if it was a boy. The husband? He was so excited on the day that I did the 2nd pregnancy test, went to work and broadcasted to the entire office!

I am almost 6 weeks along. Changes in my body? Well…I think my PMS has gone away, sometimes moody but most times sleepy. I would sleep at every chance I get. Sleep during lunch time, nap 3x a day on weekends and bedtime is like 9pm for me.

My lower back is aching, can’t sit for too long. And I need to walk every 20 mins or I would fall asleep. I am tired all the time but not feeling hungry all the time yet. I don’t think I have gained any weight besides feeling bloated and seeing the boobs expanding (milk factory on the way!). I think I have even lost more weight past weeks as my regular pants are lose in the groin…like they aren’t mine.

It seems like I wouldn’t have to go too far from my diet. According to the pregnancy book that I bought (yes I am that pathetic…I need a book!), it is advisable to eat low sugar, low carb food and lots of salad. Sounds like me. BUT 4-5 servings of whole wheat bread or noodles…that’s kinda hard for me. I have to remind myself that I have to eat bread more than I did. I still have not exercised for a week, guilty! I don’t think I will till the next dr’s appointment which will be in 2 weeks. In the meantime, I am just enjoying the long long long walks during lunch…if I decided not to sleep instead!

My face looks tired all the time. Some co workers say that I always look tired (they don’t know that I am baking a bun) and I told them that I have not been feeling well lately.

12 years, that was a long time ago since I got pregnant. It was like starting all over again, but with 2 babysitters this time :)

Update : Same day, 2:30pm

Received the prenatal blood tests from the Dr. Not that I REALLY know how to read it well. But according to the blood level that I have and the scale given, all my levels in the blood are good. The HCG level is fine, as per how far along I am (meaning: the further along I am in the pregnancy, the higher the HCG level will be). Now I can sleep better...knowing that everything is fine, insyaAllah.

ps....don't you just love the beauty of sushi buffet???????????

There is...

a bun in the oven...

More stories to come...

Mahalo...

We have an event at work today for our AAA members. Its called 'Mahalo Event'. This is to promote our Hawaiian Vacations for the travel agency. Everyone is encouraged to wear a hawaiian shirt and jeans to work to celebrate the event.

Now now…this got Ely thinking…hard. Being born and raised and even bred in the lovely sunny island of Singapore, I always feel that dressing up hawaiian is very tacky. Something that omputih does a lot to adopt this tropical thingy. In short…no, I don’t have a hawaiian shirt! (ps : I do have several hawaiian sundresses but shirt?). So OK, since I feel that way, I am going to wear what I feel like wearing. I am not running the event anyway, so I know it would not effect me…right??????????

What is Ely wearing today? Well, you see, it rained hard this morning and it was cold. So I have my 'heavy metal' concept outfit today to work. Meaning : Black long sleeved netted blouse with black tank top underneath. Black pin striped pants and black pointy (and I mean at least 2.5 inches pointed out) with kitten heel boots. OK aper kan?

Came to work…the lady assistant boss says 'Good morning Ely…lets see what you have on today….BLACK!!!'. OK when she said that, it hit me…I did not realize that I am wearing totally the opposite of what the office is doing. So I told the lady boss, 'Well, I don’t have a hawaiian shirt. I do have my tank top and sarong skirt and thongs to wear if we go to hawaii'. She said while laughing out loud,'Ely, you're something else. Would you like our company hawaiian shirt?'. Heck NO…corporate hawiian shirt is down right UGLY. What could I say? Hahahahaha….

Ely likes wearing black at times. Now Ely is looking at herself again…hmm black, on a Mahalo Event day, hehehehe.

The 'negative' zone...

Update : Tuesday, 03/28

Ahhh, Tuesday morning. I am feeling better. Thank you to those who had given me encouraging words.

Thats the wonder of blogging. You get mad, you typed, you felt better.

My 'flash' project was finally completed! So now I have the ongoing project that I have to manage and at least I won't feel that crazy today. But then again, you never know!

Emotional feelings...I think I have gotten over it. I don't get mad for too long. Life goes on, and I am happy again.

I still get to keep my son, keep my beloved father and about the ex friend...who is he again?

Cheers everyone!

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Sometimes it gets hard when you have to handle too many things at a time. From work to personal accounts. Do you also believe that you can get so dogged down by so many nitty gritty stuff that could just turn into someone negative momentarily?

From my son doing a little mess at school and needs make up work for some of the assignments he had missed, to a friend who turned into an EX friend due to his hypocricy, to my dad who always thinks that his grandkids parents sits on a pile of money to the management thinking that I have 6 sets of brains, 10 sets of hands and can finish 3 projects in one swipe and to the reps who thinks that I should be responsible for their mis'data'd' numbers in the system. All these are just so overpowering to me that I feel that I just wanted to sit by the beach and not even hear anyone's voice.

My son is still getting his back supported by me and the husband. Sure kids mess up in school. Sometimes they think that could get away with missing assignments when their parents were not looking. Maybe kids should remember why report cards were created long time ago. In America, missed assignments reflect at the end of the term on their report cards. All missed assignments will be noted. With that, parents get mad, wishing that they could shake the heck our of their kids, spank the juice out of them. And if that ever happened, parents tend to console the kid's cries and turn it into something positive. It sucks being a parent sometimes…they can lie to us and disappoint us…unfortunately, we still love them and will never lose faith in them. Sigh…

A friend. What is a friend? It surely is an open end answer eh? I was born trusting everyone and anyone once. But then I thought I was smarter…a little trust and a little faith but I still get burned by a friend. Not burned in a sense of money but burned in the sense of betrayal. I shall not talk in detail about this as I do not want to stoop as low as this friend. Pity, as much as he has disrespected my family and me, I still have the humanity to not disrespect him. May Allah bless my family's and my heart for that. I know that another friend is reading this blog and knows what I am talking about. My note to my dearest friend : I know that you mean well. But I do not condone that ex friend making you the middle person of this dilemma. I shall never drag you into this mess and I want you not to make him do this to you too. May our friendship last forever…insyaAllah. I am sure everyone hates hypocrites? That word itself makes my heart burn. If this EX friend were to ever read this? Hmmm...time to do a self reflection dude! If you can't see yourself, you might want to ask some of your friends...oh no...ex friends.

Bapak…please ampun my soul should you read this and get mad at me. I know that you love your grandson to bits. Please put trust on us as parents. That parental love does not come in terms of how many pairs of shoes they have, or how much money is spent on them. The love, care and attention on your grandkids are priceless. Why can't all grandparents think of it that way? You know that you brought me up that way too.

Work…it had buried me to the state of 'drowning' me. Now…how come I still have time to blog? Heh…taking a big break after a 'flash' project so that I could take on another ongoing project that is due anytime (means : when the boss 'hollers' means that that’s my deadline). Help? I'll be darned if I get even a teeny bit of help. Can't get help from co workers as 70% of my job is confidential. The rest of the 30% is the daily routine that throws me off. Yes…I do get frustrated. How am I to finish a project when I get another call for another 'flash' (means : now and don’t miss a minute…deadline means NOW). So the boss called and asked me how I am doing with another project…my answer? 'I am still buried with the current one…and I need help'. What does 'help' mean to the boss? Hopefully he could read my mind right now…it means : Do not call me till tomorrow OK?

OK am done abusing my blog.

How to attend 5 meetings in a day and still be alive...

I was ‘invited’ (or should I say 'assigned') to scribe all 5 sessions of the same meeting in our district office by the management today. It was about an Employee’s Survey that was conducted in Northern California in my company some 2 months ago. All employees from the District Office where I work at were invited to this mandatory meeting for 'in person' feedbacks.

Here’s what I have learned on how to survive them:

• Attend the full session of the first meeting to get the ‘hang of the meeting content’. After that, you can start disappearing after doing the roll call for 20 minutes...go get that fresh air or something.
• Make sure that I understood what I scribed cos the boss will revisit the issue after each session.
• After the 3rd session, Ely is showing signs of ‘disorientation’ cos it was her session for feedback. When questions were directed to her, she blanked out and said ‘Huh?’.
• After the 4th session, boss sensed that I gave feedback that was way rarely someone would share with the management (eg no teamwork from team, bad leadership from some leaders. Some were to scared to share). Boss also sensed that I was very drained from attending 4 meetings and took me for a walk..while asking me what I thought of the sessions. More thinking! But with walking...OK lah.
• 5th session, after the walk on the streets of SF, Ely’s ready to go again. Got juicy scoop from boss…I love juicy scoop! *Ely’s busy scribing*

Tomorrow this poor ‘yours truly’ will try to make sense on what she wrote today, consolidate the minutes and feedback and type them into one proper document. SWELL….!!!

Now Ely is ‘meetinged out’ and is ready for bed. TGIF tomorrow!

Nafsu makan tak tertahan...

Note : I had to change my entry title from 'Mengidam ker' to the current one, just so that there is no anticipation. Hehehe...

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How do you handle cravings when they start haunting you?

Do you :

A) Go with the cravings
B) Count to 10 and pray that it will all be over
C) OK…have a little bit of it, don’t follow your heart too much!


Somehow or rather, this month, my craving is craving orang gelojoh. I wanted so much to eat lunch at that halal mediterrenean restaurant…die die must go today. So a co worker obliged cos she had never been to this place.

8am…I was already thinking of it. Hmm, what should I order eh? Maybe a gyro plate of the 'special'. Come 9am, the co worker said that she might not be able to make it cos no one was going to cover the hotline if she went to lunch at 1pm. She suggested tomorrow…how dare she said that to me! Dang…I MUST make this work! Must go today! She finally worked it out for us to go lunch at 11:30 am instead…whatever babe…as long as I get to go.

I think you would have never ever seen me walk so fast before. These boots just did not deter this woman from walking fast. Glad the restaurant was not crowded yet. Ordered the special…they had Veal cooked in masala, cous cous, rice, mediterrenean salad and pickled cabbage…good enough. Who cares what the co worker ordered. I quickly got my order, rushed to a table and geez…please do not picture how I ate the meal! I ate most of the cous cous but very little of the rice and the bread. Can't curb the carbs, can't eat all the carbs either.

Burp…alhamdulillah! It surely was good. Whats next? Sushi! The husband suggested for us to have sushi tonight…just bring it on babeh!

*This is Ely in action when she's in the craving mode. Sometimes I would crave for humungous salads for days…sometimes stir fried veges for days too! I do get carb cravings too though not much. When I hit the carb binge, I just take a few bites and then the guilt will lurk and stops me from eating them too much. *

Cold...

Aaaahhh, its the weekend. After 2 'not too happy posts', I have decided that its time for a happy post as usual eh?

I had caught the daughter's major cold. 5 of her classmates were absent from school and 2 of them went home in the midst of class. So hey, she came back coughing and sniffling and what do you know...the Ibu caught the cold!

1st day of being sick, I still went to work. There is also that cold virus lurking in the office. But I didn't want to waste that vacation time you know...saving for that Singapore trip. The next day, Ely simply could not hold her head up. It was Friday, so at least if I were to call in sick, I would have the whole weekend to recuperate. Poor boss/es would have no Ely to call upon hehehe.

I was in bed all day Friday. In an out of consciousness till about 5pm. DayQuill every 6 hours, Vitamin C every 3 hours...water every 30 minutes, sleep every minute! Then the husband came home. Ahhhh, he was sniffling and said 'Thanks for the cold..I got it now!'. So I ended up cooking dinner (just chicken soup for the sick bodies) and let the husband rest.

Its Saturday, the husband and son are going out in a few minutes for haircut and then to baseball practice. I am still sniffling and coughing but feeling better than yesterday. I am wondering if I should go to the mall...

HAPPY WEEKEND Y'ALL!!!

From : Mrs Sniffles

Que Sera Sera...

--Each time when I think of my kids and their dilemma with their father, I would remember this Que Sera Sera song--

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February 8th 2006, it was my daughter's 12th birthday. There was a package received on February 5th, when we were in Florida. Bapak who was in town at that time, said that he received the package on my daughter's behalf. Bapak said that the package was from Singapore...the sender being the father of my kids.

When we reached home, my daughter opened her package and found a birthday gift from her father, together with a gold chain and a pendant, custom made with her name on it.

That was the nicest material that my daughter had received from her father since the divorce, about 7 years ago. She put the chain and pendant on and wore it to school every day.

To show appreciation to her father, my kids bought him a San Francisco Giants shirt with a card. Bapak volunteered to personally hand the gift to their father (besides bapak being so curious on how this guy is doing now) when he went back to Singapore.

Last Friday, we received a call from bapak. Apparently, bapak was with their father. They had a talk...60 seconds per kid. I asked the kids what they talk about with their father. The kids were oblivious over the phone call, one kid continued to watch TV, the other, back to her gossip magazine.

The next day, bapak called me to give me the full scoop of his meeting with their father. Their father had somehow gotten out of his post-divorce misery and is driving a cab at nights (so that explains how he got the money to buy her a gold chain). He sold his 2 bedroomed apartment and is renting a room and had bought a car too. So I asked bapak,'Orang tuh dah kawin ker belum?'. Bapak said maybe not.

Then when bapak talked to the kids about their father...again the kids were oblivious. The daughter came into the room and asked,'Ibu, yayi said that ayah bought a car and he would very much love to see us this summer when we visit Singapore. You know, I REALLY do not want to go see him'. What can I say. Couldn't say 'That's fine Mas, don't go'...could I? But in turn I said 'Well, why dont you just go visit him. He loves you and wants to see you. You don't have to spend the night at his place. I'll make sure that yayi would not force you OK'. The daughter, being a drama queen said 'Ibu! How to tell yayi? He would surely force me to spend the night! Yayi said that ayah now has a car...so what? Like I cared even if he owned an airplane'.

I could not utter a word after that. I was stumped...that she even said that! But I quickly changed the subject and talked about something else just so that the daughter would not get worked up over something that hasn't happened yet.

My say in this, I am glad that the ex had finally pulled himself out of misery (seemed like he got out of it after he sold his apartment and made some money. He was broke all the time...as usual) and is earning money (no, not hoping for him to even start paying child support). I hope that he would marry someone who is of what he would expect fom a wife....an obedient and gentle wife (I am not saying that I am not of that ok!). As much as I would not want to have anything to do with him, the fact still stays that he is my kids' father and he would still be in the kids' lives no matter what.

As for my beautiful kids, how my kids will feel towards their father will be determined by how their father is willing to regain their love for him (which has somehow dissolved since time began). The kids deserve for their father to show them love and I shall not stop them for getting more love. I know how hurt my kids are by their father's behaviour in the past years...but it really seems now that their father is trying to mend his relationship with his kids. I hope that my kids would accept him again someday...insyaAllah.

ps : The ex will always dislike me no matter what. He is so sore about me that he tells everyone, he hopes that I would be happy with my Mat Saleh husband, like what I had always wanted.

What is Good Parenting?

Sometimes I asked myself…what is good parenting? Does good parenting involve material or good parenting is attention given to the kids and ensure that they will grow up to be responsible and useful adults in future? I don’t know…this has been the question raised between the husband and myself, for many reasons on many occasions.

I can't make comparisons of parenting back home and parenting here. To me, parenting is parenting…same responsibility, same ole scenario just like when we were younger, only that it gets 10x more complicating at times.

Now that the kids are 12 and 13, they are more aware of how they look like, who they hang out with, what kind of songs they listen to and even what they want on their bodies. This is like 'monkey see monkey do' stage for them…excluding 'monkey see monkey do' from their parents. The bad influences are the easiest for them to follow and adapt, the good ones are the hardest (as we all know cos we've been through that ourselves!).

They're starting to go to sleepovers. When they come back, that’s when the kids tend to make comparisons of their friends' lifestyle to ours.

First example: Cellphones.
At such a young age, no where does this necessity of cellphones appear in their everyday lives? But my girl's friends each has a cell phone. We are the only parents to have been resisting the idea. Why? Cos we didn’t live with cellphones when we were 12. And what if there was truly an emergency for the kids and the didn’t have their cellphones with them? Would they know how to use the public phone? With the different area codes within the 2 cities that we're in, they need to know how to put the quarters into the slot and dial the right number instead of selecting 'Mom' or 'Paps' and the cellphone calls for them. Money is not the factor in this matter. It costs only $9 to add each kid to our Family Plan. So we are still being very adamant that kids should not have cellphones until they're bigger. My question : Is it wrong for a parent to think that way?

Second example : Responsible kids and parents
My girl had a misunderstanding with her best friend. This best friend of hers is an only child. One day, the girls were playing during PE and my girl accidentally hit her friend's face with a basketball (kids play, accidents happen). Her best friend got pretty mad and called her names. Was very nasty to her to the extend of making my girl feel bad about herself. The best friend also told everyone that my girl did it on purpose and that her apology was not a sincere one. Took us a total of 1 day and 2 hours to convince my daughter that she had done what she needed to do…that was to apologize. Then the next day, the daughter heard rumors that her best friend told her mother about the incident and that her mother was going to see the principal to complain against my daughter. Her being a kid, freaked out and told me about it. She also said that the best friend's mom talked bad about my daughter and everyone knew about it. My daughter used to go to their house every other week and they were nice. The husband decided to discourage the daughter from hanging out with this girl on weekends, for fear that the friend would do it again. They're back as being friends now but what bothers me was that, her friend never apologized for her rash behaviour. My question : Was it wrong for us to discourage her from hanging out with her former best friend? We explained to her why…that she and her friend might need some 'cooling off' period for fear that the same thign would happen again. And if it were true, why did the girl's mom even thought about complaining against my daughter?

Third example : Internet and parents' consciousness
Internet, the worst enemy for parent when it comes to parenthood. The kids are not allowed to surf the internet unless one of the parents are home. If they were to use it, only 20 minutes would be allowed when we're not home. Internet history will always be checked for security…MySpace and chat rooms are not allowed. Messengers are allowed and we scan the list of friends they have. One day, my daughter was at another girlfriend's house. We received an email notification stating that my daughter was on her messenger and she had changed her password. Afraid that it could be someone else trying to get into her messenger, we called her and she said that she had changed her password. Kids' passwords are for the parents to set up not the kids. So we picked the daughter from her gf's place. Apparently, no parent was around when they were 'chatting', just a 15 year old sister, her gf and her. Told the girls that they need to get their mom to call us when she got home. The mom didn’t call back, well the gf called back and said that her mom just came back from traffic school and was too tired to talk to us. But the mother never called back. The question : Is it us who watch our kids too closely or do parents just do not care what their kids do on the internet?

One last question : Do you as parents care what kind of songs your kids listen to? Do you happen to stop and listen to what the kids are listening to and indentify if there were bad language involved in the song and has bad influence like gang activities and racial issues? Rap songs are generally known to project negativity to adults…do parents care to even think that rap songs can be bad for kids? How about tv programmes? MTV…the 'in' thing now. If we don’t watch the kids, did you know that they don’t just play rap but also show videos showing gang activities? The reality show cops, if the kids were to watch it by themselves without adult supervision (its rated PG13 here), kids will think that those druggist and their tattoes and hats are cool? Trust me, we see our kids sometimes follow bad stuff on tv too. Again, was it just us or we're just being over controlling?

These are just one of our concerns that tend to make us feel as if we're the overprotecting ones, the caring parent or are other parents not as caring as us?

Would anyone like to share this with us?

Shopping...jangan tak shopping...

So…its bonus time. Hmmm, call me an ingrate cos I tend to make comparisons of bonus payouts with when I was back in Singapore…can't beat that 3 months yearly bonus and a month of profit sharing bonus. But heck, syukur Alhamdulillah, thank you Allah for blessing me with some wealth so that I could upgrade my cell phone and buy spring clothes (Astaghfirullah Ely…hehehe).

Let's talk more about the 'shopping binge' that I am going to have soon. Firstly, I am going to have to pay down my credit cards. Maybe some down to zero balance and hide them under my mattress. Then the husband agrees that if I were to do that, he would help sponsor part my shopping binge (don’t you back off on your offer dear husband!).

My phone is due for an upgrade (upgrade = Ely's tired of using the same phone for 12 months). It's really not that I have enough friends to call me on my cell or sms me like when I was back home. But hey, must update with the trend mah! I know that I don’t use it enough to upgrade to a Palm Treo (phone PDA system), how I so like it! But a Razr phone will be good enough for me.

Then a co worker started the 'destruction' process for me in terms of clothes and shoes. Handed me 2 catalogues of affordable shoes, clothes, pant suits, spring clothes…good for trip back to Singapore this summer! Cannot tahan…tapi takper, I have to wait till Friday (still Thursday here) to start fulfilling my wish list on the catalogue. I have marked all the stuff that I want…with Post It notes. Are you nervous yet husband?

What else should I do? Hmmm, maybe get some accessories for my iPod, I know I need a wall charger for it. I know, I know, some will say, 'Save your money lah Ely'. The husband has taken care of that department for me…so no worries.

Well anyway, I shall be so looking forward to this weekend. Sorry Ayu, too bad you're coming back on Sunday or I could take you along hehehe.

The more the BETTAH...

I am currently on a roll of blogging about my friends. Can't believe sometimes the people around me do effect my everyday life. And how much I love them so!

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I have a co worker who was adorably tiny (she STILL is!) when she first started working here. She's about a size 6 (or less) but could eat like a horse. When I mean that she can eat like a horse, I really mean it. She could eat rice for breakfast, McDonald's for lunch and another full meal in between. Everyone would die to have a figure like her and not gaining any weight from eating.

But…since she came back from the Philipines in January, she told me that she had gained 10 lbs from the visit, due to 'continuous' eating. When she returned to the US, she was still eating like when she was on vacation. Then the last time she told me, she had gained another 1 1/2 lbs.

For a very tiny petite lady who had gained weight, she surely is kind of happy as she says that she had gained more 'boob' size, more 'booty' size and she's now more like the 'Ohhh La La' kind (meaty babeh!) compared to the tiny petite one she once was. When she was tinier, she says that she would die to have boobs like the rest of us in the office and maybe fill out her pants with more fats in her booty. She has it now! To me, she looks great and happy!

So there, one happy little lady…so happy that she has gained some weight. She feels so achieved, so happy.

I wish I could be like her…work hard to gain weight than lose them weight.

Here's to my Wonder Char…and her new Ohh La La body!

*Just so everyone knows that this world is not one-track minded. Some are happy when they lose weight and some are happy when they gain weight!*

Here's to HAPPINESS...

I just kept in touch with a friend after 6 years of not hearing from her. She is divorced. None of which I knew about until she messaged me one day and told me about it.

How did I feel? Hmmm…at first I was mad, mad at myself for not even knowing that my closest friend went through what I did, not being able to give her emotional support when she needed it. But then it came out to reality…that when a person was going through a rough patch in life, they would have no time to discuss his/her problem until the aftermath, which I totally understand. But all the while when she was going through this nasty experience, she thought of me. She said that I have inspired her…to get up and go …with the strength that I have supposedly shown to her (did I say it right my friend? Please email me to confirm).

The reason for her divorce was totally different from mine. Mine was not due to a 3rd party but it was what we call ‘irreconcilable difference’. Like many people expect in a divorce, hers was due to infidelity.

She came out of this misery strong…for the sake of her kids. Now, she is relieved and happy, that she doesn’t have to deal with anymore guesses, uncertainties and anger which her ex husband once put upon her and her kids.

Then my ultimate question to her. Is she embarrassed that she is now what the malays call ‘Janda’ with a capital ‘J’? Now, why did I ask that? Why did I sound so bloody insensitive? Actually, she knew that I asked because I had gone through it once…I mean, the ‘J’ status. She said,’No, I am not embarrassed. In fact, if you could see my face now, I am a very happy lady. Am glad that I made that decision’. Good for her I thought…good for her. Cos I told her that not ALL women would feel the same about going through a divorce. Not all women dare to even stand up for their own rights of happiness and they would rather be cheated on and stay in the marriage, for the sake of her kids.

In this modern society (or maybe not), back home, of course the status of ‘jandaism’ is always being mocked upon. The general minds of society are :

• She doesn’t know how to take care of her husband hence, the husband found another.
• Why did they split? No third party involved, why can’t they just bite down and make the marriage work?
• Be careful, the next door neighbor is a janda. Jaga laki kau baik2. taulah orang lelaki nih pantang nampak janda dahi licin.
• Dia tuh kan janda…

Yes, when I was a janda, I did feel that. I felt weird, well I was comfortable with my decision but I stopped going to weddings and gatherings just so that I wouldn’t imagine getting glares from relatives or others who are of my parents’.

Now what is wrong with being a janda? Why are ‘jandas’ treated as second classed citizens in the asian world? OK OK, I know that ‘jandas’ are well known for being ‘marriage breakers’ or perampas suami orang. The fact also states that some married men find ‘jandas’ to be more interested for whatever reason that I could not even explain. Maybe the men feel that ‘jandas’ need tender loving care…’for free’. I dare say that I was once involved with a married man with 2 little kids 3 months after my divorce. Don’t worry, I ‘abolished’ him 9 months after as I did not want to live up to my status of being a ‘marriage breaker’. Nope, the wife never found out…I kindly 'returned' him to his family (which he thought that I was using him due to his high career status). I told him that his pregnant wife and little kids needed him more than me and that our relationship would be a waste of time.

To me, a woman divorces because there’s no way out. A woman divorced and it was her decision. No one would make the wrong decision to make hers or her kids’ lives miserable. She loves herself and her world now is about making HERSELF and HER OWN KIDS happy.

I respect the women who know and stand for their rights in being happy. Remember, not all women would have the guts to make the decision like you (and me) once made.

To my dearest friend and all women who had gone through this phase in life…”Here’s to happiness!”

ps - I am very proud of you my friend. And I am glad that I have unknowingly inspired you. Errr, please don't look at me regarding 'internet dating' ok, hehehe.

*Hope I am not a bad influence to some!*

Rush hour

Now that bapak is back in Singapore and the husband has started working normal working hours, the house becomes 'stormy' everyday in the morning and after 6pm. Stormy at home means...daughter's loud singing in the shower, cats screaming at each other, ibu yelling at kids saying 'manage your time guys!!!', son yelling at daughter, daughter yelling at son.

The husband is finally working again, after being on worker's injury for more than a year. This a new job with much much higher salary…on top of the eBay gig that he's currently doing. The painful part is that, he starts work at 6:30am…that’s the busiest time of the day for the whole family, including the kitties.

The first day after bapak left happened to be the first day that the kids started school after a week's break. So everything was topsy turvy. The kids need to feed themselves, feed the cats and then take their showers. Their schoolbags better get packed the night before or they will not hear the end of my nagging. I have to get dressed for work, open my blog (hehehe), feed myself and then give Tuco his daily injections. By the time its 7:15am, if I didn’t have time to eat, the toast would be in my hand, the kids in tow and we're all walking down the hill to catch our buses (I don’t drive to the train station, not paying an extra $4 per day!).

Come 6pm, the husband picks me up from the train station. If he has eBay issues, then I'd be 'it' in the kitchen. Masak aper eh? Got meat can cook. No meat cannot cook…and then we'd end up eating out.

Good thing is, the kids help us with chores and we would make our run to the grocery store for more food at times. Then they have reading too and some homework to consult us with. The cats need love. Most times, I would be watching Dr Phil while chatting with Nazrah or Ayu on my laptop, with a cat on my lap, another cat on each side of me on the bed and sometimes teaching the daughter how to finish her homework at the same time. Homework - I am the math department and the husband, the humanity, science and history department.

I have been neglecting the exercise due to my 'sick episode' and I need to make time for it now. Guilty guilty guilty!

How I wish I had a maid like when I was back home. But then again, like I told my kids…this is a group effort. We need each other to run the house. We even need the cats' cooperation to run the house…as in, they better come into the house by 8pm or we would not be able to lock the doors and windows if they're not in!

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Insight :

My principle in life, family comes first. Redefined : my kids come first on top of everything. So when I get ready for work, I make sure that they're ready first before me. I make sure that they eat first before me.

This rush hour struggle will be a bliss in a week. The walk down the hill has been a bonding session between the kids and me. When I mean bonding, I mean real bonding…we talk like friends and ask each other what we have planned for the day and the weekend. We also tend to share some thoughts which sometimes we never even thought that we would.

It makes an ibu feel good when bonding happens, you know what I mean?

No husband. I did not forget you!

The bond between the husband and wife did not have a good start at first. We were both tired and frustrated with the new schedule and both of us trying to do as much as we could before and after work. Like I told Count Byron in his blog, we always end up venting our frustrations hence, hurting the people closest to us. But we made up after we got over our 'stupidity' mode. Gotta make peace right?

Our family is whole again. Makes us all feel good!

Got bun or no bun?

Last week I was sick as a puppy. But I still went to work eventhough my face was green and my head was spinning. This happened for 3 days. When the co workers saw me, they said that I had a 'bun in the oven'.

Yeah sure, we have been trying, but I did not expect for it to happen too soon. But it was 4 more days to go before my period was to begin. So everyone was speculating…they said from the way I looked, the way I was so lemah longlai, I sure was supposedly to be baking the bun.

The period day came. My girlfriend was saying 'well???' I said 'Nope, no period yet' and my face was white as a ghost. Friday, Saturday, Sunday….nothing. Monday, there were signs that I was spotting…another sign to indicate that I could be preggy. But…I didn’t want to hope…false hope. Everyone's holding their breath…I was getting nervous, unsure and not quite hoping.

Tuesday, the day came when the dam finally broke. So it was a 'bantut' bun in the oven! The sweet husband was excited all along. Now that he knows that it was a 'bantut' bun, he says that there are many other moments to capture the momentum.

Oh how the body can be so unkind to me. I was never late and this body just had to play tricks on me.

I am not disappointed. I did not hope for the quick 'reaction' to begin with. But these people around me just made me feel excited…for them hehehe.

So don’t hope yet everyone…the project is still on. I told everyone in the office to stop speculating me and let me live 'naturally' (literally).

Maybe Ailin and I could have a virtual baby shower if we time it right...right Ailin?

Bapak...

Believe it or not, it has been almost a month since bapak arrived in San Francisco. He will be leaving us on Sunday night.

I feel that this time, bapak's visit has been strictly 'rest and relax'. Since he has been here more than 5 times, he had not been requesting to go to LA, nor the sierras to see snow, nor anywhere. If he wants to go downtown, he would walk down the hill, takes the bus and roam around for a day and then come home. He surely is more bus savvy than me who takes the train everywhere I go.

But he sure had his agenda for the husband and me…to complete the remodeling of the laundry house for Mat. NO, let me rephrase that, bapak has been aggressively keeping us on our toes on remodeling the laundry house expecting the house to be completely remodelled and move in before he leaves…which is impossible. But he is just being our bapak. The laundry facilities had been moved to the garage. The new wall had been replaced last weekend. The walls painted and the tiles 10% laid. With work and me haven't been feeling too well, it is hard for us to keep working on it unless it was the weekend. But bapak is 'kind of' happy that it is 80% done now.

This last week of bapak being here, the kids happened to be off from school…due to President's Week. So, it was bonding week for the cucu and their yayi. They went to the mall, the movies and today, they're going to the mosque for bapak's last Friday prayer here. He might take the kids to the Fisherman's Wharf…but he might have gotten sick of the Wharf!

I might shoo bapak to take the kids out tomorrow, to spend time with him and then take him out to dinner.

It sure have been nice having him around. It was a good bonding session for him and me when we were painting the laundry house. It was nice to have someone to talk to before going to work, just like when I was back home when I had mak and bapak to talk about nothing before and after work.

Thank you bapak for everything. We love you and will always think of you…till July. Big hugs from your 'anak kecik'.

Bedak dan gincu...

This is Makeup...the Ely way, not the proffessional way.

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What is natural beauty? Hehehehehe, pardon my laughter cos it reminded me of the chat Ayu, Nazrah and I had on Friday night. Ayu decided that she would like to do a makeover on herself…eerrr, not extreme makeover lah (can't afford the plastic surgeon), just a 'kemas kemas' look on her side.

I think she might have regretted for thinking out loud and sharing with Nazrah and me cos the kakak2 surely could not stop typing…trying to give her tips on how to look beautiful. Hehehe…again I am laughing cos it was such a sweet moment between the 3 of us.

So here I am sharing what Nazrah and I had shared with Ayu, 'follow' us if you're interested :

Skin deep - Before anything else, whether you're a makeup wearer or not, you MUST (I repeat Ayu) must..take care of your skin. Wash, tone (if you must) and moisturize (that’s a must to me). The wash will clean your makeup or dirt that you might have picked up at the fast food restaurant, dandre that you might have picked up from that mamat who had acne, etc etc. The tone, will close up your pores after washing to 'tighten' the skin and the moisturizer, to make your skin supple. The tricky part is that, not all skincare products are good for you. Everything is trial and error.

The color - You do not have to love makeup to apply it. You also do not have to be a beautician like 'The Nanny' to put that makeup on. For that natural look, firstly, ensure that your skincare products are reacting well and you have the habit of using it before even thinking of makeup. But sometimes, makeup can force you to care for your face kan?

For natural look…very easy, get compact (I like bronzer) or loose powder (Nazrah likes this!) and a big powder brush and brush it on your face. Why a brush? So that it will be applied evenly without caking your face and look like wayang. You can also use foundation or tinted moisturizer of you feel that you have the confidence to evenly spread that stuff on your face. Remember, all these colors MUST match your skin color. As in, when you put the powder or foundation on your test wrist, the color should not appear on your skin at all…do not get anything too dark or too light or you will look like someone else (trust me on this, and I am not talking about any beauty queen).

Some will feel that foundation will make your makeup look heavy which is untrue. It will cover the open pores on your skin and make your face look 'naturally' smooth. Do not overapply this stuff or it will look heavy. Ensure that it blends into your skin. Oh and good skin care is important to remove it at night.

The eyes - Nazrah likes eyeliner (shes very complicating, uses up to 3 colors on the eye) and I love using eyeshadow as eyeliner. Depending on what kind of eyeliner you use, some eyeliners make your eyes look smaller. So I like the natural look, I use the dark colored eyeshadow to contour the top and bottom of my eyes…looks smokey kan? Again, you do not have to be an artist to 'draw' your eyes. Use a very very light glowey color on the top of your eyelids to the bottom of your eyebrows. This will make your eyes look dewy and fresh. Next, use the same color that you used to contour the bottom of your eyes to color the contour of the top of your eye. This will 'pop' your eyes out…not in a scarey way and no…not like Bambi's mom (so says Ayu).

The cheeks - again, the blusher is not meant to 'show up' at all. It should be natural color. The purpose of it is to give you that glow. One stoke, 2 strokes…oklah…don’t get carried away. If you can find a liquid blusher, even better, will definitely make you look glowey.

The lips - we all know that true red is NOT the color for anyone. I like 'icey' pink or 'icey' brown, depending on your skin tone. Lip goss with lip pencil is fine too. Wear bold colors only if you feel like you're confident with the color, if not, don’t even think about it.

Hair - If you're not wearing tudung and have not visited the hairdresser past 6 months, you might want to think about saying hi to them. Layering your hair will give it some body and keep you look 'maintained'. Rebonding your hair (for those who have the mullah) will make that curls go straight like china doll! The right shampoo and conditioner is the most important. Again, hair does not grow on your head naturally beautiful unless you're aged 5 and under (baby hair's the best!). Hair needs tender loving care too.

You must be wondering how long I take to get dressed for work? Mandi- 15 mins (kalau basuh rambut, kalau tak 10 mins), makeup-10 mins, dress up - 5 mins (kalau gosok baju, add 10 mins), hair - 2 mins (dry) or 5 mins (wet…must hairdry and put gel what!)

So there…I am not a beautician, neither am I known to be a makeup artist (I can't shade my eyelids too well for nuts compared to my co worker who could 'design' her eyelids!) but I can share some 'natural look' tips!

For those who still do not like makeup…do not feel obligated to do so (I know, banyak sangat steps), as long as the skin is taken care of, nothing else matters :) . And I don't judge my friends for their faces. I love them for their personality.

Oh and why did I keep mentioning natural? Can you imagine if you make yourself up like some film star (or porn star as the americans say)…take that makeup off and mak datok!!! I'll let you put the thoughts in your head for now.

But to me, natural beauty is what you're born with, inside and outside.

How to be a couch potato

Anyone who visits the US longer than 2 weeks will realize that they turn into couch potatoes within a week of being here.

All they need are :
- a working TV, who cares, 14" or 60" HDTV, they all work the same
- the remote, this is a must, or you will have to move your butt and would not be able to concentrate on 'fermenting' to be a couch potato
- a nice thick couch, to get yourself situated strategically in front of the TV, without getting cramps on your back
- a side table, so that before a movie starts, you have your popcorn, shrimp chips, kerepek whatever and diet soda to put on.
Oh and of course…
- a good movie or short 'show after show after show'

When I mentioned 'show after show after show', I really mean show after show after show…as in, show marathon. Sometimes on a weekend, a certain channel would show South Park ALL DAY LONG. Don’t worry if you fell asleep while watching the 4th episode, you can catch up on the 5th one. OR if you really fall into deep sleep, some channels show Dirty Dancing ALL DAY LONG…so catch up whenever you can.

And then I mentioned the good show/movie. My favorites are Dr Phil (yeah babey!), The Chappelle's Show, South Park, Miami Ink (my father in law thinks that only crazy people watches it), Dirty Dancing (all weekend), Grease (all weekend), all the movies in the Lifetime Movie channel and dozens others. So, if are taking a break from the 'big people' show, go to Disney Channel and watch Lizzie McGuire all day or the COURTTV channel and watch Forensic Files. If you have short attention span, how about watching 'The Osbournes' or 'The Hogan' (remember Hulk Hogan?) family run their everyday crappy lifes. Then there's Video on Demand. Movies from HBO, Cinemax, Showtime and TMC…the movies don’t start til u hit the button…there's 'White Chicks', 'Casablanca', 'Harry Potter 3', 'First 50 Dates', and many more to choose from. Hey and don’t forget to watch 'Tom and Jerry' all day too!

If you get tired of watching the goggle box, don’t be wary, go to the mall and window shop, get some air …relax those eye muscles. And when you're ready, the TV will be right there to welcome your return!

It surely is not that hard to be a couch potato. I truly am a semi couch potato. I watch TV from my bed, with the laptop in front of me too. I drift in and out of sleep on a lazy Sunday morning just cos I feel that I need to be a 'vegetable' for a day before I start working the next day.

Application not needed, come join the couch potato club.

*Bapak is sitting in front of the TV watching a movie from 'video on demand'*

What can I say...

It is Friday...but the day can be deceiving,
It has not been a pleasant day to begin with,
Part of it is totally not my fault,
But what can I say, I can't stop people from having attitudes.

Apology has been said and the rest is up to you.

Just don't fight with me when I am having my PMS...cos you will never win!

Bossy boss

Eversince the boss moved to the 1st floor, things have changed. I am working with him virtually, we message each other and use the telephone to communicate…emails included. But then I have the assistant manager who is sitting at the boss' former office up here. She took over some tasks of what the boss was doing when he was here (in terms of insurance and Reps admin).

Day by day, I have been feeling a little depressed, a little underachieved as I don’t seem to be getting the daily 'up to the minute' admin scoop…which lead to misadministration and miscommunication at times. The assistant managers are mostly in their own worlds and come to me only in the 11th hour to complete a project.

Today, the boss proposed a new project to me. Before that we had a pep talk (after I complained that he's virtually bossy too!)…he said that I am doing a great job. Sigh…and I meant a huge SIGH cos I am really not feeling that I am doing anything great. I feel underachieved and underperformed. But hey, I did not want to sound like a whiner yet. I asked 'You think? I don’t feel so!'…then as usual, we got sidetracked on other issues and didn’t really talk about how I was feeling.

But as we both left his office (him to a meeting and me back to the 2nd floor), he mouthed 'Thank you' to me. And I said 'Sure sure…and stop being bossy'…and he said 'You better take them stairs instead of the elevator!'…HAH!

'V' day again?

Update : Feb 14th 2006

It has been such a beautiful day today. Lots of sun and everyone seems to be happy.

The office was cheery at 8:30am. Most are wearing dark red or pink just cos its Valentines Day. One brought a tray of glazed cinnamon buns, one bought a dozen of donuts. The corporate cafeteria was decorated with Valentines Day ornaments and ribbons...red and pink.

Went to Union Square today just to get some candy for the family. Crowded...the Lush boutique was also crowded. I didn't look into the jewelry store...don't know if it was crowded or not.

Nothing big planned for the day. Nothing REALLY special going on here. Maybe a dinner for 2 at the neighborhood sushi place. I warned the husband not to buy me flowers...save the money for dinner.

This morning the daughter said 'I HATE Valentines Day...it's garbage!'...maybe cos she does not have a Valentine (what a relief!) or maybe shes being a feminist for now...after a so called 'breakup' with a fellow class mate (she kinda dislikes boys for now). The boy's oblivious to this occasional 'national holiday' thingy.

The husband is on his way to the Dr's office for his shoulder check up. After the surgery, the shoulder has only been 20% better as oppose to supposedly 80% better. So the specialist will determine if (a) they operated on the wrong problem or (b) they need another Dr for a 3rd (yes hear me out...THIRD) opinion.

Whatever it is, the day is not over yet. I hope you all had a sweet V day yesterday..if not...dont worry...everyday can be a V day and thats the most important thing?

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Valentines Day…something that the husband and I think to be the tackiest day in the year, apart from Xmas. But then again, if I don’t get candy or flowers, I would feel dejected eh? So…maybe this time, I would like to write a love note to my husband, for those who don’t like chickflicks to begin with, please click the 'back' button or just the 'x' to exit.

There's truly nothing much to say apart from reconfirming that I love my husband still and have not kicked him out to the curb yet? Or should I say that we are still discovering ourselves and that we have stopped that regular fightings (we have not fought for almost a year!)? I don’t know…

Anyway dear husband…

It surely was a miracle on how we met,
Thousands of miles apart,
Out of millions of fish in the sea,
We picked each other almost instantaneously,
No regrets of my decision for you.

I know we are not 'mushy' people,
No 'smoopy', no 'honey buns', no 'sweet cakes' calling,
But just plain ole Ely and plain ole David,
Sometimes we call each other names that could in turn offend us (like psycho, crazy, silly) :)

So there, my love note for you,
Nothing to really sweep you off your feet,
But at least you would know that…
I LOVE YOU & HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!

Oh yeah…to all bloggers, HAPPY VALENTINES DAY to you too! Much love from moi!

Aftermath of the aftermath

Aaaaah, a new template...again! Hopefully this template would not crash anyone's wifi cell phone due to the stupid pop ups!

The aftermath of the trip was not positive. We came home on Tuesday, one thing weird about me is that, I count my cats to make sure that they're all ay-okay. But heck, it was 2.45pm and the weather was beautiful so most of the cats were out enjoying the day. Come 8pm, one by one started coming in like 'ayam pulang ke reban'. Okay...where's Pinky and Puffy. 9pm, 10pm, 11pm, no Pinky nor Puffy. The husband jumped out of bed and called out their names...Puffy came back in 30 seconds...still no Pinky.

Wednesday...no Pinky
Thursday...no Pinky
I was getting frantic and started to cry each time when I was thinking of her. Where could Pinky be?
Friday...
I cried even more. Started to make flyers to put up in the neighborhood and planned to knock on neighbors' doors to see if Pinky was 'domesticating' in their houses. No...no sign of Pinky by 7pm. Aiyoh...how can Ely live without Pinky?

I forgot to mention that the husband brought Tuco, our previously 17 lbs cat to the vet as he has been losing too much weight since the past month. Costed us $300 for this cat to be diagnosed. The vet called on Friday to let us know that Tuco is diabetic. We have to bring him in on Saturday for some insulin dosages and consultation on how to care for diabetic cat. The vet says that diabetes for cats are not neccessarily premanent and they could be cured and have a normal and happy life. Now the husband is crying. Sigh...double whammy surprise eh? Pinky is missing and Tuco is diabetic.

But life went on for me...Friday night is shopping night. The kids have their baseball and softball tryouts in the weekend and we need to buy them baseball/softball gloves. And then to Petsmart to get cat food. Sigh...I was at the verge of crying when I was at the petstore...Ely can't live without Pinky!!!

Got home, bapak was talking on the phone with his beloved mak. I went into the room and started crying uncontrollably. Ely can't live without Pinky!!! Then I decided that I needed to do something to cheer myself up...change this blog template. Think positive...think positive...

10pm...
I heard a tiny mew from the sliding glass door outside my bedroom, I turned around and waited ...another tiny mew...then came the white head...PINKY!!! Tears of joy this time while I opened the sliding glass door...my Pinky is back!!!

Yup, she smelled musty though not dirty. She sure had been accidentally locked up in a neighbor's garage for 4 days!

Aftermath...

It was a beautiful wedding, very jewish, very personable and very very memorable. I get to meet 'new' cousins of the husband's whom he had not seen for over 20 years. For the siblings, it was another reunion for us.

Firstly, I reached the in laws place with the in laws busy counting the number of gift baskets for each room of the hotel that they have booked for the guests in Miami Beach...40 rooms altogether. Yes, not 4, not 14 but 40. The bride (my sister in law) just left the house and she was frantic...frantic as in panicky. The next night, 2 nights before the wedding, Kimberly, the SIL (sister in law) was begging for help in tying the ribbons for the wedding program. Here comes the SIL made in heaven (me lah) shooing her from the MIL's house and telling her to go home and get some sleep. The bride, wanting her wedding to be nothing but perfect had been so emotional, she cried over every little thing that did not fall into place. Sometimes nak jugak rasa macam nak cekik budak nih suruh bawak bersabar.

(Skipping my kebaya part, refer to pictures)The ceremony was held that the jewish temple. Like I said, my first ever jewish wedding. It went so well, at the end of the ceremony, guess who was bawling away besides my brother in laws?

Then came the oh so wonderful wedding banquet. If you have watched the Wedding Crashers, thats the exact scenario of how my sister in law described it to be. Life music, the 'Hava Nagila' chair dance and tonnes of 80's live music to dance to. I think my kebaya outfit attracted the attention of the cameramen...ahemm, enjoy it while it lasted eh?

We had been having late nights preparing for the wedding, the rehearsal dinner, the wedding and the aftermath. Right now, my eyes are hardly open...begging for beauty sleep before work tomorrow.

I love my husband's family. They're a bunch of good people who loves me as much as I love them!

Enjoy the pics, ask me questions if you want to :)

The invitation


The Bride


The ceremony


Happily Married


With the Bride


With mom in law


Errr, the Ratu Kebaya and her kids


The husband and step brothers


The husband, the bride, the sister (she rocks!!!)


The dance

More pictures...click on the thumbnail and click next for enlarged slideshow.

The time has come...

for us to leave,
the wedding is over...oh how beautiful it was,
another day left before we go,
with all the nice memories that we will hold...
in our hearts...FOREVER