Yet another vice

I have yet another confession to make...

I am a Dr Phil addict! First it was Oprah Winfrey many years back when she was like Ricki Lake, bergaduh dalam studio and all that. Then Oprah’s show turned sober and more sensible…I still was her loyal fan then. Then Dr Phil was debuted in her show every Tuesday in her show. She has this slogan that says,’Tuesday is Dr Phil day’ and that’s the day when all the women would clap and the ones at home (like me) would sit up and wished that she was right there at the studio.

Dr Phil is a psychologist, and if it’s not for the Oprah Winfrey show, he would not be as popular as he is today. Although he is at least 50 years of age and has lesser hair than other 50 year old men, he still has that charismatic way of advising and getting his point across to his guests. This is so not Ricki Lake or Jerry Springer show where the guests would bare their fat butts and droopy busts to get better view ratings.

From relationship/marriage problems, to weight loss problems, Dr Phil has advise for people of all shapes and sizes, from all walks of life. The thing about his program though, if his guests need psychological help, he will always refer his guests to get help at his own expense. Of course Dr Phil is not God. He never guarantees healed relationships, they’re all up to the guests, unless its weight loss problem. He puts them in a full time regiment and voila!...these women lost 60 lbs in 4 months!

But one thing that inspired me about Dr Phil is how he advises others on how to raise a kid. Again, he does not play God but he tells the parents what they had done wrong, and what could have been done to avoid the bad situation.

His favorite phrase: You do not let your child control you. You control your own child. There is no one to solve this problem but yourself.

Now…that phrase, caught me right in my brain. That is just oh so true. When my kids were toddlers, sure, we let the kids have their way most times. When they start getting whiney, we have to take control of the situation and not them. And when they turn into pre-teens, we become the one to control their behaviors and lifestyle. The kids have the right to choose but not like an adult. They still need their parents to tell right from right to wrong, whether they like it or not.

And then there’s one episode about a newly married couple falling apart. The weepy wife saying that her husband was unfaithful, hardly spent time with her and the baby, blah blah blah. Then the husband says that his wife was this and that, yadda yadda yadda.

Then comes Dr Phil and says : Mary (the wife), either you want this marriage to work, or not, you have to do yourself a favor…do not play victim and feel sorry for yourself. Do not ever blame others for your misery, in actual fact, you let your husband walk all over you.

Then to the husband: John, do not ever make excuses for being unfaithful. If you screwed up, means that you did.

I know you guys might think that I am such a sucker for Dr Phil. But I do listen to good advises. I don’t blow advisory words that will benefit me in my life, which can be hard to come by on television shows.

Regardless of what the topic for Dr Phil could be, that unfaithful relationship, bad parents/ bad kids, or even obese guests who are suicidal, I always try to capture his key words.

‘You control your kids, do not let your kids control you’
‘Do not ever play victim in any difficult situation as you will never be strong’
‘Do not find excuses for your screw up, if you screw up, then you did’

Do you have any inspirational books or shows that sometimes tend to tag along with you for the goodness of your own well being?